A young
pastor was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter he’d just
received that morning from his mom. As he opened it, a twenty-dollar bill fell
out. He thought to himself, Thanks, Mom, I sure needed that right now. As he
finished his feel, he noticed a beggar outside on the sidewalk leaning against
the light post. Thinking that the poor man could probably use the twenty
dollars more than he, he crossed out the names on the envelope and wrote across
the top in large letters, PERSEVERE! So as not to make a scene, he put the
envelope under his arm and dropped it as he walked past the man.
The man
picked it up and read the message and smiled. The next day, as the pastor
enjoyed his meal, the same man tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a big
wad of bills.
Surprised,
the young pastor asked him what that was for. The man replied, “This is your
half of the winnings. Persevere came in first in the fourth race at the track
yesterday and paid thirty to one!”
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a
snowman?
A: Frostbite!
A young man couldn’t decide which girl to marry.
He liked one girl, but he really liked another one named Maria, too. He decided
to ask his friend for advice.
“How do you make important decisions?” he asked his
friend. “Well, I go to church,” replied his friend. “Then I look up and pray
and usually the answer just comes to me.”
The young man decided to try just that. He went
to church, looked up to pray, and the answer was written in gold above a
stained-glass window.
It said: AVE MARIA!
Q: What did the lions say to
his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
A: 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra
crossing!'
In pharmacology, all drugs have two names - a
trade name and a generic name.
For example, the trade name of
Tylenol is acetaminophen. Aleve is known as naproxen; Amoxil is amoxicillin,
and Advil is ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a
generic name for VIAGRA. After consideration by a team of government experts,
it recently announced it has settled on the generic name of mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix,
and of course, ibepokin!
“I have the world’s largest collection of
seashells...
You may have seen it.
I keep it scattered on the beaches all over!”
The long-term implications of drugs and medical
procedures must be fully considered: Over the past few years, more money has
been spent on breast implants and Viagra than was spent on Alzheimer's
research.
It is generally believed that
by the year 2030, there will be a large number of people wandering around with
huge breasts and erections who can't remember what to do with them!
The marriage between the elderly farmer and his
young wife was not working out too well, so the farmer consulted his doctor for
advice.
"The next time you're down in the field
plowing and feel a yearning for your wife don't wait until lunchtime or the end
of the day, but quit what you're doing and go to the house," said the
doctor.
"I tried but it didn't work," said the
farmer.
The doctor thought for a minute, "Take your
shotgun with you when you leave the house in the morning and if you feel the
urge, shoot the gun and she will come down there where you are."
A few weeks later the two men
met on the street.
"How did it work
out?" asked the doctor.
"Fine, the first three
days," said the farmer, "But then the hunting season opened and I
haven't seen her since!"
As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.
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