Let’s get rid of the filth

The proposal to censor the Internet is considered seriously and spawns other ways to tackle life’s other more complex issues.

COMMENT

Internet censorship?

Wonderful! I can’t begin to tell you what a fantastic suggestion it is to censor the Internet. Oh my god, all that filth finally gone! Brilliant, just bloody brilliant!

I have two teenagers of my own and like anyone who has kids under their roof will tell you, it is not easy protecting them from all the filth lurking around in cyberspace. Sickening, immoral acts; vulgar language; and the mother of all evil, pornography.

I do agree the Internet is one of man’s greatest inventions but with all the good it brings, come dangers of every kind too.

Like my kids, youths nowadays are bombarded daily with these invisible dangers. Of course parents and adults should play their role as guardians, which is why I applaud this proposal of censorship as it does make my life infinitely easier.

Just imagine, with the Internet censored, parents and guardians don’t actually have to spend quality time with their kids. I mean, we do have a life too, you know!

Therefore, I wholeheartedly support Tun Mahathir’s suggestion.

Plus by censoring the Internet, our government will be able to nurture a more sheltered but wiser future generation. That means no more politicians being involved in sex scandals; no more civil servants watching pornography while at work.

Since a simple act of Internet censorship allows us to solve the bigger problem of having sex-crazed members of society walking in our midst, I believe we should apply the same theory in dealing with other budding problems too.

As such, I have a few suggestions that I hope Tun Mahathir would graciously consider including in his struggle to make Malaysia a better place.

Halt the building of high rise structures including apartments and shopping malls to prevent more children from falling to their deaths.

Prohibit the sale of sugar and oil since more Malaysians are prone to diabetes and high cholesterol.

Scrap all garbage bins since there are way too many cases of abandoned babies, many of who are found in dumpsters.

Ban the use of motor vehicles on roads to prevent the rising incidence of accidents.

Prohibit the sale of beer to females since some tend to tear off their clothes after a beer or two.

Make it compulsory for extremists to wear blindfolds whilst outdoors since many get offended at the sight of religious symbols.

Summon anyone found outdoors after 5pm to prevent them from getting bitten by Aedes mosquitoes since dengue cases are on the rise.

Start writing on stones and canvas to save our shrinking rainforests.

Make it compulsory for all men to wear chastity belts in order to put a stop to rape.

It is indeed wonderful when we have easier ways to solve complicated issues, isn’t it? Why the need to scratch our heads to find sensible solutions and educate the public when we can simply solve problems with ingenious ideas like the ones suggested above?

On second thought, perhaps it would be better if someone would just invent a time machine. We can then go back to the stone-ages and not worry about any problem what-so-ever… except the presence of dinosaurs maybe.