M. Indira Gandhi, 41, with a photograph of youngest child, Prasana Diksa, at 11 months old. The mother of three says she will not be able to recognise the girl, who is almost eight, now. – The Malaysian Insider pic by Wong Tuck Keong, January 23, 2016.
Kindergarten teacher M. Indira Gandhi, 41, will never forget the night in March seven years ago when an argument with her then husband, K. Pathmanathan, resulted in her never laying eyes again on their youngest child – Prasana Diksa – 11 months old at the time.
“My eldest daughter, Tevi Darsiny, was 12, and carrying her baby sister.
“My ex snatched the baby from her and sped off on a motorcycle.
“It was when I lodged a police report on this that I discovered my ex had changed his name to Mohamad Riduan Abdullah by embracing Islam. That was the start of my ordeal,” she told The Malaysian Insider in an exclusive interview recently.
Indira has been embroiled in a custody battle with her former husband over their three children for the past six years.
The case has sparked a constitutional debate, following the Court of Appeal ruling last December 30 which upheld the unilateral conversion to Islam of the children, Tevi Darsiny, 19, Karan Dinish, 17 and Prasana by their father.
The trauma of that day in 2009 still haunts Indira and every little girl she sees gnaws at her yearning for the daughter she has not seen since 2009.
“Until now, I only have a passport picture of her as a baby.
“I have seen some pictures of her wearing a headscarf when they were produced in court, but mostly, I only have my memories of her as a baby.”
She would not be able to recognise her daughter if she saw her now, said Indira with sadness.
“When I think of her, I still see an 11-month-old baby.
“I don't know how she looks like now and it’s hard to imagine.
“At least I have my memories, I’m afraid my own daughter may not know me now.”
Indira’s two older children live with her, after the Ipoh High Court in 2010 awarded full custody of all three children to her.
However, police did not act on a recovery order from the court for the youngest child, despite a failed bid by Riduan to challenge the custody order at the Federal Court.
Indira said this has prolonged her separation from Prasana and diminished her hope in the authorities, but she was still determined to be reunited with her daughter.
“I’m prepared to go to court after court for my daughter, even internationally.”
Indira plans to challenge the appellate court decision at the Federal Court and is garnering support nationwide in a bid to compel the government to resolve legal problems pertaining to a non-Muslim parent’s right to determine their children’s religion.
She said that when she first approached lawyer M. Kula Segaran to represent her in the custody case, she was warned that it would be long and arduous battle.
He initially advised her to seek other lawyers but later agreed to take on her case when she failed to get representation.
“I did not expect it to take this long.
“But it’s important to me and I will do what it takes,” she said, adding that she was grateful to Kula, who is also Ipoh Barat MP, for offering his services pro bono, as it has eased her financial struggle.
Below are excerpts from the interview.
TMI: What were the most challenging aspects for you as a mother, since being involved in the court battle?
Indira: My main and most immediate concern was being able to provide for my family financially. I was teaching kindergarten since before Prasana was born as my ex did not hold a stable job. When the court case started, I continued but faced trouble when my ex started calling my workplace and causing problems.
This forced me to hop from one teaching job to another. I started giving home tuition to primary school pupils and ferrying children to and from school in the mornings. My three elder siblings helped a lot in those trying times.
I also decided to move from the rented home in Pasir Puteh, Ipoh, which my ex knew about, to a new rented location in the city.
My situation became more stable after getting a permanent teaching position at a private kindergarten. But I still give tuition to supplement my income.
TMI: How have you and your older children, Tevi and Karan, coped with being in the spotlight on account of the publicity on the court case?
Indira: Apart from allowing my son to speak at a DAP press conference one time when he was 11, I have refrained from exposing my children to the media.
We have tried our best to keep a low profile and I have been the only one with my photos and statements in the press.
My daughter is currently doing her matriculation studies and my son is working part-time after completing Form Five.
Since the Court of Appeal decision, I am worried about their religious status.
They, too, are worried and have been angry about all we have had to face over the years.
I told them they can decide for themselves whether to be vocal or not once they turn 18.
My daughter has already turned 18, and my son will be 18 in October.
TMI: What do you think of support from the public and civil society groups?
Indira: I am glad more people are getting to know my case and have shown support for me. I plan to rally more support by sharing my story with them.
So far I have been to Seremban and Penang with Kula to gather more support and will continue to do so in the weeks ahead.
I am also grateful that a trust fund for me and my family was started recently.
The trustee is my lawyer Philip Koh and the trust fund is also monitored by Hindu Sangam. I hope the proceeds can go towards my children’s education. My daughter wants to study marine biology, and I hope to be able to finance her dream.
TMI: Have you tried negotiating for an out-of-court settlement with your ex-husband?
Indira: He has been difficult to locate as he provides different addresses in the affidavits. I believe he is not interested to make peace and is instead bent on being revengeful towards me.
We have not been in contact although he is known to leave me “colourful” messages on my phone from time to time. I usually ignore them to avoid getting upset.
He has made no effort to call the two older children and we are not in contact with him or his side of the family. They were not close to us to begin with.
In the early years, I used to call him and beg to hear Prasana’s voice but he never allowed it, and I only heard her crying in the background. I stopped trying after that.
TMI: How do you feel about politicians getting into this case? Are they helping or making it more difficult?
Indira: When I met Datuk Zaid Ibrahim, I did not realise he was a former law minister. I am grateful for his idea to make a documentary of my case as I believe this is an important issue that could affect others in the country.
I have yet to meet MIC president Datuk Seri S. Subramaniam, but I am keeping my fingers crossed for positive results, especially for my children.
- TMI
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