Couples must prepare sufficiently before marriage, says Jais

Selangor Islamic Religious Department (Jais) director Haris Kasim has reminded couples who plan to marry to prepare themselves sufficiently so that incidents such as the one that took place at a mosque in Pantai Dalam will not recur.

The solemnisation ceremony, Haris said, must be conducted based on discussions made beforehand, so that the event would run smoothly.

“Discussions have been made; you are going into a marriage, which is akin to building a mosque. So why must something good be made bad?

“So, we must do it the right way. Only then will things be peaceful. If both parties want to quarrel, when will things be solved?” Haris told Malaysiakini when questioned on the incident.

The incident at Masjid Jamek al-Khadijiah saw the groom punched by a family member of the bride. He was punched after he decided to leave the event due to being disallowed from continuing with the solemnisation ceremony after failing to provide RM15,000 for the dowry.

The groom’s family members had previously agreed to pay the amount, with RM10,000 paid in instalments before the ceremony, with the rest to be paid later.

After failing to come out with the necessary amount, the mosque was witness to the ugly scene that saw members of both families hurling insults at each other before things turned physical.

Haris declined to comment further when asked whether matters related to the dowry led to the scuffle.

Dowry, he said, was not something that is compulsory in a particular solemnisation ceremony, but every couple must pay the 'mahr' (dower) which is set by the respective state Islamic religious councils.

The 'mahr' is the mandatory payment by the groom to the bride while the dowry is normally used by the bride’s family to pay for the feast.

“It’s up to the particular couple. It’s up to the individual if he or she thinks that dowry must be given or otherwise.

“It’s up to the person if the Quran is sufficient as dowry,” Haris said.

He even joked how he himself had only given RM5,000 for the dowry, and he and his partner are still happily married.

“I gave RM5,000 and my children are all happy,” he said, chuckling.

Dowry depends on each family

Meanwhile, for couples who want to spend little, Jais is responsible for organising the 'Majlis Perkahwinan Perdana’ (wedding ceremony), which is done during school holidays.

Couples only need to pay between RM1,000 and RM2,000 to hold a wedding ceremony.

Haris said the event has received phenomenal reception from couples who want to marry while remaining prudent in their spending.

“Sometimes there are 20 couples, sometimes 30. The feast is done simultaneously,” he said, adding that the dowry depends on each family.

Malaysiakini’s checks with 10 newly-wed couples found that the amount of dowry they paid out to be between RM10,000 and RM15,000.

Apart from dowry, in the form of cash, Malay couples also exchange wedding gifts with one another.

These come in the form of betel leaves on a tray, sweets, handbags, perfumes and clothes, among others, depending on the couple’s financial means. -Mkini