Was Siti Kasim right to show her middle finger?

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Some people would say that human rights lawyer Siti Kasim was wrong to show her middle finger to the hecklers at a syariah forum she attended. They would explain that it sets a bad example to others. It reveals her vulnerability.

A few people agreed that Siti gave a strong performance, putting forth her arguments in front of a very hostile crowd. She demanded answers which many Malay women would have been too scared to seek. She did well, until the middle finger episode, they said.

So, who are we to judge Siti? We were not in her shoes. How would you have reacted?

At best, Siti would have felt a measure of satisfaction when she retaliated in the only way these rude hecklers would understand. It is like fighting fire with fire. At worst, some may seize upon the gesture to say that she is uncouth.

The bottom line is this - it is hard being a Malay, Muslim woman in Malaysia, especially if she is independently minded, articulate and progressive. She will find life challenging and frustrating.

If a Malay woman drinks, a good percentage of the Malay community wants to whip her in public. They will strip her of every vestige of respectability, like one peels an onion; they will humiliate her, question her family upbringing and her morals.

A pretty Malay girl cannot take part in beauty contests. She will be fined and jailed because it is the law. Whose law?

She cannot wear a one-piece swimsuit without being stared at. If she were in France, she cannot wear a burkini. Whatever she does, is wrong.

Relatives and friends who have gone to Makkah have complained about Arab men groping them and rubbing themselves against them, despite wearing shapeless robes.

If she aspires to be a gymnast, the conservative Malays will make her don a niqab. If she wants to be a model, her career can only flourish if she is overseas.

If she were to reveal that she had been raped, she risks exposing her private life, and in some parts of the Muslim world, she is punished for adultery.

On the other hand, if a Malay man takes away an underage girl’s virginity, entices another man’s wife, rapes his own granddaughter, or steals, a few billion ringgits, few Malays complain.

Sex equality, Malaysian style

The ulama are silent, others will claim that it is their Islamic right to marry whomsoever they please, and women should shut up. If a woman opposed the man, she will be assured a fast-track to hell, according to the know-it-alls. That is sex equality, Malaysian style for you.

It takes a strong person with nerves of steel, and gritty determination, like Siti, to face a rude and hostile audience, like the one she experienced. The hecklers drown you out. They interrupt you. They try and make you lose your train of thought. They are ill-mannered, but who should we blame?

Some of the worst misogynists in Malay society are Malay women. Malay mothers mollycoddle their sons. Boys get preferential treatment, and in an age when many women find it hard to exist, syariah inheritance laws do not favour them. A will does not help, because the Malay man will find ways and means to demand faraid, despite the wishes of the deceased.

The Malay MPs from Umno Baru do not know how to set an example. People like the red shirts are given carte blanche to terrorise us. Senior Umno Baru politicians are the worse sort. They and other MPs make sexist remarks in Parliament, one MB allegedly made a rude hand gesture, whilst another minister, when asked for his comment, made a rude finger gesture instead.

The heckling to which Siti was subjected in the forum is a sad reflection of the Malay community. A community that we grew up in. A community which has, over the years, become more racist, sexist, ageist and materialistic.

Do not be distracted by Siti’s middle finger. We should focus our energies on the reasons for the shabby treatment of Malay women.

Siti is right. The conduct of a Malay woman is between her and God. She should not be judged by sanctimonious Malay busybodies.

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MARIAM MOKHTAR is a defender of the truth, the admiral-general of the Green Bean Army and president of the Perak Liberation Organisation (PLO). -Mkini