Sunday, March 1, 2020

Our 'coronapolitics' not a game of thrones, but toilet bowls



What is "Malay-coronapolitics"? It is when the old and new are infected by the same deadly breath of stinky politics.
Malaysia will soon become just like Nicaragua, a banana republic. Tinpot politicians ruling. And please stop calling it a "Game of Thrones", that is too honourable. The fiasco should be called the "Game of Toilet Bowls", with musical chairs.
It is not about the transition of power but of Mahathir Mohamad who allegedly created a system of greed, of authoritarianism in his 22-odd years of Umno culture in him. First, they fought when they were in Umno. Now, when they in a cloned party, the rakyat suffers.
When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground, says an African proverb. In Malaysia, these old men burn everything. Kubur kata mari. Rakyat kata pergi. How I love this new Malay saying.

Instead of being wise, old leaders, they became better at conning each other. Pathetic, grumpy, vengeful, stinky old men they are.
Numbers game?
When a politician says "I have the numbers" I thought he meant Sports Toto. Or, when they say “I have the numbers”, they mean I have contact numbers of "frogs" that could jump at a moment's phone call. How honourable is the fate of Malaysians when it rests merely on the politics of "I have the numbers".
But welcome to Malaysia's "coronapolitics" where kleptocrats will get their grand pardon. A never-ending game.
GE14 was a great con-game by the great con-artists. The people who voted cried in joy. But now, conned to tears. The novelist Shannon Ahmad was perceptive and prophetic when he wrote the postmodern political novel, Shit
I am reading Shit again now. This truly is not a "Game of Thrones" I repeat. But a "Game of Toilet Bowls". Never glamorise filth. Those fighting for the country's loot are ex-Umno. Same old game. Only they got older. Really old.
In Malaysia, maybe we should not anyone above 70 to be the country's leader. Look at Donald Trump. We ought to study gerontology. When an old man becomes so powerful, nothing matters to him. He will bulldoze everything. Never cross his path. The ugliness of gerontological politics has dawned upon Malaysians. The damage is irreversible. The worse is yet to come.
And I read that the attorney-general Tommy Thomas (photo) has resigned? What a mess this country is in. So many fake news flying around while a fake government consisting of political frogs is being installed.
But seriously, our national energy should be on preparing to deal with Covid-19, not some stupid power grab. These pathetic politicians are, perhaps, already billionaires, capitalising on their mastery of fooling people all these years. Mostly these pathetic politicians want to get up there only to ride the gravy train. Not to serve the people. Parasites.
Why not pay MPs the same salary as fresh graduates until they prove their worth? Get them to they use Grab, too. They do not deserve to be treated like kings and queens when they are prone to plunder the nation and con the voters.
Wrong steps
Today, suddenly, all Umno folks under investigation for all kinds of white-collar crimes are getting a libido-rush and their spirits surging like the Kelantan wau bulan. A Malay-Freudian moment. 
All these "Langkah Kajang", "Langkah Port Dickson", "Langkah Sheraton", "Langkah Senget", or even better "Langkah Shaitan" - not Sheraton - are maybe giant steps to Sungai Buluh Prison.
Many wanted to become the prime minister. That is part of the problem. Create more prime minister jobs, more ministerial posts, more posts with power attached. Power to rule over others. To feel important and be worshipped and crafted and curated well by the media. 
Yes, create more positions. A simple supply-demand issue solved. Law of diminishing sanity. Why not have 10 prime ministers and offer them each minimum wage. See how well they would work to keep their jobs.
Alas, after 30 years of writing about Mahathirism and Malaysian politics, I feel I have nothing much to write about anymore. I feel that these politicians are not interested in doing good work for the good of the nation. Only dirty work for their own good. I don't know how many lives politicians have and how many layers of shame their faces are blessed with. Mascara of mangled personae.
Our nation will be in deep turmoil, yet again. Another Bersih-type rally is needed, perhaps?
The ugliness of race and religion politics will be back in full swing. Damn these politicians! 
The return of Umno culture, with unsavoury characters as leaders, supported by Ali Baba and his 40 thieves. That's our story.
Look what the old man has done? He has destroyed democracy over and over again and still want to keep the nation ransom. No shame. He wanted to be known as a "statesman" but ended up a "staleman". He well overstayed his welcome. Power and greed got the best of him.
Master strategy?
These politicians we gave our vote to can't even work together. These clowns. How can they govern so that the people of all races can work together as well?
Those who marvelled that man as a "master strategist" do not have an idea of how pathetic our politics has become under him. We read about the day Mahathir quit. Resigned. The ministers lost their job. Then Mahathir got his job back in a day. He got everybody's job. All for himself. Then a counter-coup happened. Aren’t we tired of reading about this nonsense? At a time of coronavirus, we are forced to read about this Malay coronapolitics. How pathetic.
Call for new elections. This is the only way to do justice to the voters who were fooled, lied to all this while. Three decades of Mahathir rule direct or indirectly, have created a democracy dead on the inside. Pathetic patronage system we have seen being cultivated.
Crazy, is it not? You don't like somebody till death, you burn the entire village. This insane move is like removing the handcuffs from those being prosecuted in the 1MDB scandal. 
Ali Baba and his 40 thieves will escape in joy. Chaos! 
Bursa Malaysia will continue to shake and rattle. All the fish in the ocean of coronapolitics, big and small, will be jumping ashore running away. What a way to destroy the economy.
What unity government?
A “unity government” was earlier proposed. A unity government in a toxic political environment? Who decides on the composition? One man again? His self and his age are two of Mahathir's greatest enemies he must confront in his final battle over time. 
The rakyat is tired of reading about this nonsense in Malaysian politics. Whether you call it realism or realpolitik or any other fancy name, it is insulting our intelligence.
In the ultimate analysis, how dare these politicians in Pakatan Harapan destroy that bit of remaining hope for reform they promised? Just because they think they can do anything. The voters are now angry and want to go to the polls to choose real leaders, not clowns and conmen and women.
This species called politicians beg for your votes so that they could play their Game of Toilet Bowls all night long. In this kind of toxic and pathetic political culture, we may see a change of government every year as in many failed nations.
In the year of Vision 2020, we have destroyed what we planned to be. Total chaos. Because one man wanted it all. What a shameful country Malaysia is. Can't even have a decent leader elected through a good and clean political culture.
Though costly, a new election is needed to choose apples or oranges or durians. Voters need to decide and to punish betrayers.
What now?
We will have a kamikaze government doing a seppuku on itself. Imagine the governmental disruption, the fiasco that this game of toilet bowls has caused in the name of greed and selfishness. Imagine the chaos in all states? Just imagine what we are now made to become?
What then must we do? We are super sick of being mere spectators while Ali Baba and the 40 thieves are having their last laugh - escaping prosecution. 
Can't we salvage some things?

AZLY RAHMAN is an academician, international columnist and author of seven books available here. He holds a doctorate in international education development and Master’s degrees in six areas: education, international affairs, peace studies, communication, fiction and non-fiction writing. He is a member of the Kappa Delta Pi International Honor Society in Education. Twitter @azlyrahman. More writings here. - Mkini

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