SELF-CONFIDENCE

One of the most cited sources about self-confidence refers to it as simply believing in oneself. Another popular article defines self-confidence as an individual’s expectations of performance and self-evaluation of abilities and prior performance.

However, Psychology Dictionary Online defines self-confidence as an individual’s trust in his or her own abilities, capacities, and judgments, or belief that he or she can successfully face day to day challenges and demands.

Self-confidence also brings about more happiness. Typically, when you are confident in your abilities you are happier due to your successes. When you are feeling better about your capabilities, the more energized and motivated you will be to take action and to achieve your goals.

Self-confidence, then, is similar to self-efficacy in that it tends to focus on the individual’s future performance; however, it seems to be based on prior performance, and so in a sense, it also focuses on the past.

Many psychologists tend to refer to self-efficacy when considering an individual's beliefs about their abilities concerning a specific task or set of tasks, while self-confidence is more often referred to as a broader and more stable trait concerning an individual’s perceptions of overall capability.

Some proven ways to boost your self-confidence are:-

1. Groom yourself. This seems like such an obvious one, but it is amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image.

2. Dress nicely. If you dress nicely, you will feel good about yourself. You will feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it does not necessarily mean wearing a RM 1,000 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.

3. Photoshop your self-image. Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture is not fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use your mental photo-shopping skills, and work on your self-image. If it is not a very good one, change it. Figure out why you see yourself that way and find a way to fix it.

4. Think positive. One of the subconscious things you learned when you started running was how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. How can you actually change your thoughts, and by doing so, make great things happen? With this tiny little skill, you could train and run a marathon within a short span of time.

5. Kill negative thoughts. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself, and what you are doing. When you are running, sometimes your mind would start to say, “This is too hard. You want to stop and prefer to watch television instead.” Well, you soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and sooner you would have learned a trick that changed everything in your life. You would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and you would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When you caught one, you would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one, such as “Come on, you can surely complete this run! Only one mile left".

6. Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest army general studies his enemy very, very well. You cannot defeat the enemy without knowing them. And when you are trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they are real limitations or just ones you have allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you will come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.

7. Act positive. More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It is one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you cannot be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You will soon start to notice a difference.

8. Be kind and generous. Be kind to others, and be generous with yourself and with what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You start to feel good about yourself and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence.

9. Get prepared. It is hard to be confident in yourself if you do not think you will do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an examination; if you have not studied, you would not have much confidence in your abilities to do well in the examination. But if you studied your butts off, you are prepared, and you will be much more confident. Now think of life as your examination, and prepare yourself.

10. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you do not know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. Think about your principles … you might have them but perhaps you have not given them much thought. Now think about whether you actually live these principles, or if you just believe in them but do not act on them.

11. Speak slowly. Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority and with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he is not worth listening to will speak quickly because he does not want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to. Even if you do not feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel more confident. Of course, do not take it to an extreme, but just do not sound rushed either.

12. Stand tall. When you remind yourself to stand tall and straight, you feel better about yourself. You imagine that a rope is pulling the top of your head toward the sky, and the rest of your body straightens accordingly. People who stand tall and confident are usually more attractive. 

13. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, do not try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you will be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write (for example), and this practice will increase your competence.

14. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You will feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you will be at it, and the better you will feel. Soon you will be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.

15. Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you have accomplished it, you will be happy and satisfied.

16. Focus on solutions. If you are a complainer or focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and your career. “I’m fat and lazy!” So how can you solve that? “But I can’t motivate myself!” So how can you solve that? “But I have no energy!” So, what is the solution?

17. Smile. Smiling make you feel instantly better, and it helps you to be kinder to others as well. Smiling is a little tiny thing that can have a positive chain reaction.

18. Volunteer. You could find the time to volunteer for a good cause to make the lives of others better. It will be the best time you would have ever spent, and an amazing side benefit is that you will feel better about yourself, instantly.

19. Be grateful. Being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity. It can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image.

20. Exercise. Exercising is one of the most empowering activity, and it has made us feel so much better about ourselves. All you have to do is take a walk a few times a week, and you will see the benefits.

21. Empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge. This is along the same vein as building competence and getting prepared … by becoming more knowledgeable, you will be more confident … and you become more knowledgeable by doing research and studying. 

22. Do something you have been procrastinating on. What is on your to-do list that has been sitting there for some time? Do it first thing in the morning, and get it out of the way. You will feel great about yourself.

23. Get active. Doing something is almost always better than not doing anything. Of course, doing something could lead to mistakes … but mistakes are a part of our life. It is how we learn. Without mistakes, we would never get better. So, do not worry about those. Just do something. Get off your butt and get active - physically, or be proactive by taking steps to accomplish something.

24. Work on small things. Trying to take on a huge project or task can be overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone, even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small chunks and work in bursts. Small little achievements make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements. Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you will be a self-confident maniac.

25. Clear your desk. This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again, for some of us it might not be so small). But it has always worked wonders for everyone. If your desk starts to get messy, and the world around you is in chaos, clearing off your desk is my way of getting a little piece of your life under control. It is the calm in the centre of the storm around you.

As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.