Agong Has Titah Pandangan, Now What?

 

Anyway, while they figure out whether to reconvene Parliament over the next 30 days before 1st August 2021, or after the Emergency ends on 1st August 2021, let’s focus on the game this Saturday and see whether England is going to win and will go up to the next level.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

The Prime Minister’s Office (PMO) spin doctors must still be in shell-shock because England beat Germany two-zero last night. That probably explains why the boys and girls in PMO revealed that Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin is in hospital because he berak cair.

I mean, we certainly want transparency from Putrajaya, but revealing that the PM is “running” from his backside is maybe too much transparency. Next, they will be revealing the viscosity and colour of the taik cair (viscosity: the state of being thick, sticky, or semifluid due to internal friction).

Probably that is a good move after all. If not, a certain Minah Saleh blogger from London might say, “There you are! I told you so many times. Muhyiddin is dying from cancer and does not have long to live.” Yes, that is what they have been spinning for so long.

Even then they might say this story about the PM in hospital because he berak cair due to viscosity problems is bullshit and that it is merely a cover story. The real reason the PM is in hospital is because of cancer, they will say. So, the PMO is hiding the truth from us.

I suppose one way to counter this “PM is dying spin” would be to summon Anwar Ibrahim and Ahmad Zahid Hamidi to hospital to witness the PM having a poo so that they can inspect the poo and confirm whether is it really berak cair of berak semelit.

But they must practice social distancing of at least six feet to avoid not only the smell but the Covid-19 virus as well. And a double-lawyer mask would be advisable, for both those reasons.

After that Anwar can do his favourite thing — which is hold a press conference — and announce that Muhyiddin does not have convincing, strong and solid numbers…sorry, I mean convincingly does not have solid shit or a strong stomach.

The anti-government people say Muhyiddin’s cirik-berek is due to a panic attack because Seri Paduka Baginda Yang di-Pertuan Agong has “Titah Pandangan” (in English means “Royal Decree of His Majesty’s Views”).

Another theory is Muhyiddin checked himself into hospital because he has not been able to figure out what “Royal Decree of His Majesty’s Views” means. Hence he chose to exit the scene and leave the problem with the Speaker of the Parliament, the Speaker of the Senate, and the Attorney-General to figure out.

It seems Dewan Bahasa has been requested to shed some light on what “Titah Pandangan” or “Royal Decree of His Majesty’s Views” means. Dewan Bahasa advised the two Speakers of Parliament-Senate and the AG that “Titah Pandangan” or “Royal Decree of His Majesty’s Views” is similar to “hurry up slowly” — which means it is like a transexual situation (neither man nor woman but a bit of both).

Anyway, while they figure out whether to reconvene Parliament over the next 30 days before 1st August 2021, or after the Emergency ends on 1st August 2021, let’s focus on the game this Saturday and see whether England is going to win and will go up to the next level.