Two
long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day
they would play the ball where it lies ... "No matter what!"
On the
14th hole, one of them sliced his drive and it ended up on the manure cart. As
he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief, his friend said, "Wait
a minute! We agreed that we would not improve our ball position! Remember? No
matter what!"
The first
player tried to explain that he was entitled to this relief, that it was in the
rules of golf. But the second fellow would not allow it. Throwing up his hands
in disgust, the man went to the cart and grabbed a club. As he stood near his
ball, he took a few practice swings, each time scraping the club on the
pavement and sending out showers of manure. Finally, he took his shot. The club
hit the path again, manure went flying but his ball shot straight towards the
green, landed and rolled to a stop two inches from the cup.
"Great shot!" his friend exclaimed.
"What club did you use?"
The man gave him a wry smile,
"Your seven iron!"
I’m no weatherman but you can expect more than a
few inches tonight!
A
middle-aged man goes into the doctor's office for a check-up with a litany of
complaints.
The doctor speaks to the man's
wife alone and says, "There is nothing that matters with your husband. If
you make him a couple of meals a day and let him watch his favourite sports. Do
not complain at him too much and require him to listen. Limit his exposure to
his in-laws and make love to him once a week. Then, he'll probably live another
20 years."
She returns to her husband's
side in the waiting room. He asks, "What did the doctor tell you?"
"You
are dying, my dear!"
I came home from work last night exhausted.
I said to my wife, "I need my glasses
checked. I'm so nearsighted I nearly worked myself to death."
Perplexed, the wife asked, "What's being
nearsighted got to do with working yourself to death?"
"I couldn't tell whether the boss was
watching me or not, so I had to work the whole time!"
You must be a doctor!
You just cured my erectile dysfunction!
Two men
are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there were two women golfers
in front of them who are taking quite a long time to play each hole.
The first guy says, "Why
don't you go over and ask if we can play through?" The second guy gets
about halfway there, turns and comes back. The first guy says, "What's
wrong?"
He says, "One of them is
my wife, and the other is my mistress."
The first guy says, "That
could be a problem. I'll go over." He gets about halfway there and he
turns and comes back, too.
The second guy says,
"What's wrong?"
The
first guy says, "Small world!"
Are you an archaeologist?
Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine!
One dismal rainy night in Sydney, a taxi driver
spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a
stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door.
Checking his rear-view mirror
as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting
in the back seat.
'Where to?' he stammered.
'Kings Cross,' answered the
woman.
'You got it,' he said, taking
another long glance in the mirror.
The woman caught him staring at
her and asked, 'Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?'
'Well, madam,' he answered, 'I
was just wondering how you'll pay your fare.'
The woman spread her legs, put
her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said,
'Does this answer your
question?'
Still looking in the mirror,
the cabbie asked, 'Got anything smaller?'
As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.