LET GO

 

One thing that connects us as human beings is our ability to feel pain. Whether that pain is physical or emotional, we all have experiences of being hurt. What separates us though, is how we deal with that pain. Emotional pain prevents you from healing from a situation, it is a sign that we are not moving forward in a growth-oriented way. One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus on growth and forward momentum. If we get stuck in thinking about what “should have been,” we can become immobilized in painful feelings and memories.

Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts

How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or keep you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts. For example, says clinical psychologist Carla Manly, instead of getting stuck in, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” try a positive mantra such as, “I am fortunate to be able to find a new path in life - one that is good for me.”

Create physical distance

It is not uncommon to hear someone say that you should distance yourself from the person or situation that is causing you to be upset. According to clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, that is not such a bad idea. “Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple reason that we are not having to think about it, process it, or being reminded of it as much,” she explains.

Do your own work

Focusing on yourself is important. You have to make the choice to address the hurt that you have experienced. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, focus on something that you are grateful for.

Practice mindfulness

The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, the less impact our past or future has on us. When we start practicing being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives.

Be gentle with yourself

If your first response to not being able to let go of a painful situation is to criticize yourself, it is time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. Treat ourselves like we would treat a friend, offering ourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between our journey and those of others. Hurt is inevitable, and we may not be able to able to avoid pain; however, we can choose to treat ourselves kindly and lovingly when it comes.

Allow the negative emotions to flow

If you have fear of feeling negative emotions causing you to avoid them, do not worry, you are not alone. In fact, people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness. Rather than feeling them, people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go. These negative emotions are like riptides. Let them flow out of you … It may require mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck.

Accept that the other person may not apologize

Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. If you are experiencing hurt and pain, it is important you take care of your own healing, which may mean accepting that the person who hurt you is not going to apologize.

Engage in self-care

When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first. The more we can implement self-care into our daily lives, the more empowered we become. From that space, our hurt does not feel as overwhelming.

Surround yourself with people who fill you up

This simple yet powerful tip can help carry you through a lot of hurt. We cannot live our lives alone, and we cannot expect ourselves to get through our hurts alone, either. Allowing ourselves to lean on loved ones and their support is such a wonderful way of not only limiting isolation but of reminding us of the good that is in our lives.

Give yourself permission to talk about it

When you are dealing with painful feelings or a situation that hurts you, it is important to give yourself permission to talk about it. Sometimes people cannot let go because they feel they are not allowed to talk about it. This may be because the people around them no longer want to hear about it or the person is embarrassed or ashamed to keep talking about it. But talking it out is important.

Give yourself permission to forgive

Since waiting for the other person to apologize can stall the process of letting go, you may have to work on your own forgiveness. Forgiveness is vital to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feeling you may be experiencing and move on.

Seek professional help

If you are struggling to let go of a painful experience, you may benefit from talking to a professional. Sometimes it is difficult to implement these tips on your own, and you may need an experienced professional to help guide you through the process.

To let go of past hurts, you need to make the conscious decision to take control of the situation. However, this can take time and practice. Be kind to yourself as you practice refocusing on how you see the situation, and celebrate the small victories you have.

As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.