Much ado about conversion

I have a friend who is a Muslim convert. He is also an atheist.

Rayyan was born a Christian. He grew up attending church and Sunday school. At home, he had crosses and pictures of Jesus Christ on the wall.

He practised saying grace before mealtime and prayers before bedtime.

When Rayyan was 12, his father decided to turn Buddhist. Soon, his father got the whole family to follow his path. The crosses and pictures of Jesus were removed from the wall and replaced with portraits and figurines of Buddha.

As a new convert, Rayyan was often lost. At such a young age, he was torn between Christianity and Buddhism. Most of the time, he did not feel like he belonged to either of them. The thought of upsetting Jesus and Buddha used to worry him a lot.

Rayyan tried to get answers from his parents but only received a stern “do as we say” in return. Frustrated, he learned to imitate others. When they prayed, he prayed. When they meditated, he also meditated.

A spiritual path

Years passed and Rayyan grew up into a fine young man. He fell in love with a fellow Buddhist woman and with his family’s approval, they got married and built a family.

Like Rayyan, his wife too wasn’t religious. They were both stuck in a faith chosen by their family. Now, having the freedom to choose for themselves, Rayyan and his wife decided to live a spiritual life where there was no need to label their God.

They also raised their two children with the same beliefs.

Just when Rayyan thought life was going on just fine, his wife dropped a bomb one day when she requested a divorce. Having fallen in love with a Muslim colleague, she soon left Rayyan and converted to Islam.

She ended up having custody of their children while Rayyan held visitation rights during weekends and school holidays.

Not too long after, Rayyan’s ex-wife marries her Muslim lover and without Rayyan’s consent, she converts their children into Islam.

Rayyan was then informed that he could only visit the children at their new home, fearing he would expose his now Muslim children to his un-Islamic way of life.

Rayyan fought for his children but realised it was a war he could never win. Worried he would lose his children, Rayyan took matters into his own hands and converted to Islam.

He soon gained visitation access once again and was happy to be reunited with his children.

However, behind closed doors, Rayyan continued living his un-Islamic lifestyle. His conversion, like the one before, was meaningless. They were just something he had to do in order to move on with plans he had.

A few years passed, and Rayyan’s children were no longer underaged. Rayyan no longer needed his Muslim identity to spend time with his children. Unfortunately, he was now stuck with it.

Growing older

With his children now away at college and working, Rayyan was often alone. Growing older made him crave companionship.

Rayyan eventually opened up to the dating world and met a few nice ladies. One of them won his heart and he ended up spending six long years with her.

Rayyan knew she was the one, but he could not propose to her. Marrying her would require conversion on her part, something Rayyan knew she would never consent to.

As predicted, upon finding out about his Muslim status, their relationship ended and Rayyan became single again.

A few years later, Rayyan met someone else. He made sure to inform her of his dilemma within the first few months of their courtship. Lucky for him, his religious status made no difference to her.

Three years ago, during a holiday in Europe, Rayyan finally proposed to his girlfriend. They got married in a foreign land and came home to Malaysia as husband and wife.

Today, Rayyan and his wife live together as a couple. However, most of their friends, colleagues and neighbours do not know that their marriage is not valid in Malaysia.

Most of them also do not know that Rayyan is a Muslim convert. For them, Rayyan is an atheist who dislikes conversations about religions.

Chosen by God

Whenever I hear stories about conversion into Islam, I think of Rayyan and his children.

And when people say those who convert to Islam are the chosen ones, I cringe.

You see, to convert to Islam (or any religion for that matter), is a life-changing decision that must be based on full conviction that Islam is the religion chosen by God to guide humanity.

Sadly, most of the stories about conversion I hear in Malaysia, are about fear and comfort. People convert because they are fearful of losing something. People also convert because they seek comfort.

In Malaysia, Islam is not just a religion. Islam is an identity. Being Islam in Malaysia is being part of the tribe, part of the big Muslim family.

And this identity as a Muslim, is bigger than any culture, race, ethnicity or religion.

This powerful identity of a Muslim often scares people into submitting themselves as it also attracts people to be part of it. That is all.

In short, not many convert in order to submit and surrender to the will of God in exchange for nothing but the ultimate acquisition of peace and contentment in the Hereafter. That is just a Muslim fairy tale.

So you see, there is no reason to romanticise conversion into Islam - even if it involves a prime minister.

And if you ask me, I’d rather have our prime minister help people like Rayyan and his children get out of their conversion.

But will that ever happen? Sadly, I don’t think so. - Mkini

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FA ABDUL is a multi-award-winning playwright and director in the local performing arts scene, a published author, television scriptwriter, media trainer, and mother. Her ultimate mission in life is to live out of a small suitcase.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.