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Tuesday, October 26, 2021

TUESDAY JOKES - 79

 


There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farmhand working with him to help castrate his sheep.
As the farmer castrated the first sheep, the French farmhand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash.
"No!" yelled the farmer, "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up, and we eat them, they're delicious! They're called Sheep Fries!"
The farmhand saved the parts and took them to the farmer's wife who cooked them up for supper. This went on for three days....and each evening they had Sheep Fries for supper.
On the fourth night the farmer came in to the house for supper.
He asked his wife where the farmhand was, and she replied, "It's the strangest thing! When he came in and asked what was for supper, I told him French Fries, and he ran like hell!"


Q: Why are blondes constantly running out of ice?
A: They forgot the recipe!


Starting the car for a long trip back into the city, Ahmad and Kassim said their final good-byes to their good friend, Sham.
"Thanks for putting us up for the weekend, pal," said Ahmad.
"The food was great, the drinks were superb, and I really enjoyed making love to your wife."
Shortly after hitting the road, Kassim turned to Ahmad and said, "I hope you weren't serious about making love to his wife!"
"No, I wasn't serious. She was lousy."


My dentist was voted "Dentist Of The Year"....
He didn't get a trophy; they just gave him a little plaque!


I don't know if you've ever been to England, but as soon as they find out you're from America, they hate you. 

They just think they're more sophisticated than the Americans are. They're so pissed at the Americans. 

You know what it is? They're mad because they lost the Revolutionary War, and they should be because there was only like nine Americans!


What gets wetter the more it dries?

A towel!


You: What cartoon mouse walks on two feet?

Them: Mickey Mouse

You: What duck walks on two feet?

Them: Donald Duck.

You: No, all ducks do!


This story cannot be found in the scriptures, but it was told that after his resurrection, Jesus appeared to an old fisherman. "I am Jesus and I have returned to show God's love and power." "No, you're not Jesus. Go away! You're scaring all the fish," answered the old fisherman. "I see you are full of doubt. What would you have me do to show who I am?" "Walk across the river," the old fisherman tells Jesus. Jesus starts walking across the river, but he sinks and disappears under the water. After he swims back to shore, the old fisherman says to him, "See, you're not Jesus. You can't walk on water!" Jesus responds, "Well, I used to be able to do it, but then I got these holes in my feet now!"

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Hamzah: Seven-day quarantine for arriving foreign workers, cost must be borne by employers

 

PUTRAJAYA: All new foreign workers arriving in Malaysia must undergo a seven-day isolation period at selected quarantine centres, says Datuk Seri Hamzah Zainuddin (pic).

The Home Minister also said that the cost for the mandatory quarantine of new foreign workers must be borne by the employers bringing them in.

"The special committee of pandemic management chaired by the Prime Minister had recently allowed foreign workers to enter the country, starting with the plantation sector.

"The foreign workers can only enter the country via the Kuala Lumpur International Airport and KLIA2. They will also be allowed to enter Sabah and Sarawak through entry points that will be decided later,” he added.

On the length of the quarantine period, Hamzah said that this was set by the Health Ministry.

"Employers are responsible to bear the cost for the quarantine stay, asides from other costs to bring the workers into the country," said Hamzah, at a press conference after a joint meeting with Human Resources Datuk Seri M. Saravanan here.

Previously, Saravanan had said that 32,000 foreign workers in the plantation sector will be brought into the country in phases beginning early November.

The country had stopped accepting foreign workers following the entry ban enforced throughout the Covid-19 pandemic. - Star

Three versions of ‘fiat’ over Sri Ram’s appointment, says Rosmah

 

Rosmah Mansor said her constitutional and legal rights were violated when Gopal Sri Ram also conducted prosecution after she was first charged.

PUTRAJAYA: The prosecution’s three versions of “fiat” to legitimise the appointment of Gopal Sri Ram to prosecute Rosmah Mansor in her corruption trial over the solar power project for rural Sarawak schools was done with bad faith, the Court of Appeal has been told.

The wife of former prime minister Najib Razak said the High Court had also erred in law and fact in stating that former attorney-general Tommy Thomas’ decision to pick Sri Ram for the 1MDB related trial also included Rosmah’s corruption case.

In her petition of appeal filed in the Court of Appeal last week and sighted by FMT , Rosmah said High Court judge Mohamed Zaini Mazlan failed to consider the three striking versions.

The appeal will be heard on Nov 15.

Thomas, who was attorney-general and public prosecutor from June 2018 to Feb 2020, had appointed Sri Ram on Aug 30, 2018 to conduct 1MDB cases.

Rosmah, however, said her constitutional and legal rights were violated when Sri Ram also conducted prosecution after she was first charged on Nov 15, 2018. She said it was done with bad faith.

Outlining the three versions, she pointed out that on May 11 this year, Thomas affirmed an affidavit that he appointed Sri Ram, a retired judge, as senior deputy public prosecutor (DPP) to conduct all criminal trials, including Rosmah Mansor’s corruption case.

Thomas said Sri Ram had all the powers of a public prosecutor as his appointment was made under Section 376 (3) of the Criminal Procedure Code (CPC).

In the second version, Rosmah said Idrus Harun, who succeeded Thomas, issued a backdated appointment letter on July 8 last year to Sri Ram.

Later, she said that on May 21 this year, Idrus issued another letter that he appointed Sri Ram as senior DPP under Section 376 (3) of the CPC to specifically conduct Rosmah’s trials and other related matters.

Rosmah said both letters by Idrus were just afterthoughts and prejudiced her.

On Sept 24, Zaini dismissed Rosmah’s application to disqualify Sri Ram from prosecuting her and also to declare the trial a nullity.

Zaini said Sri Ram’s appointment under Sections 376, 377, 378 and 379 of the CPC by Thomas in August 2018 was valid.

Zaini also accepted the alternative submission by the prosecution that Idrus’ backdated appointment letter for Sri Ram, which was issued on May 21 this year, could cure any defect by Thomas.

He said this was because Section 50(b) of the Interpretation Acts 1948 and 1967 empowers any authority to make an appointment with retrospective effect.

Rosmah is charged with soliciting RM187.5 million from contractor Saidi Abang Samsudin in the Sarawak schools solar hybrid project, as well as receiving RM6.5 million in cash from him.

It is alleged that the money was meant to help Saidi’s company, Jepak Holdings Sdn Bhd secure the RM1.25 billion project. - FMT

Dakwaan menteri, bekas menteri rasuah, KDN sedia siasat, kata Hamzah

 

Hamzah Zainudin berkata, beliau baru mendengar dakwaan salah laku rasuah membabitkan menteri dan bekas menteri yang didedahkan ‘Edisi Siasat’ hari ini.

PUTRAJAYA: Kementerian Dalam Negeri (KDN) akan bekerjasama dengan mana-mana pihak sekiranya terdapat laporan polis mengenai dakwaan salah laku rasuah membabitkan pegawai kanan kerajaan yang didedahkan satu saluran Telegram “Edisi Siasat” beberapa minggu lalu.

Bagaimanapun, Menterinya, Hamzah Zainudin mengakui beliau baru mendengar dakwaan itu hari ini, yang dikatakan turut membabitkan menteri dan bekas menteri.

“Saya baru dengar…saya tidak tahu perkara ini. Bagaimanapun, segala kesalahan sesiapa sahaja, kalau ada laporan polis, kita akan beri kerjasama.

“Buat masa ini, saya tidak tahu,” katanya selepas menghadiri mesyuarat Jawatankuasa Bersama Antara Menteri Dalam Negeri dan Menteri Sumber Manusia Mengenai Pengurusan Pekerja Asing.

Beliau ditanya berhubung kewujudan saluran pendedahan terbabit dan adakah siasatan sudah dijalankan berdasarkan dakwaan “Edisi Siasat” itu.

BERITA LANJUT MENYUSUL - FMT

Shafee's lawyers seek to expunge majority of prosecution witness' testimony

Muhammad Shafee Abdullah’s legal team is objecting against large chunks of the proposed testimony of a key prosecution witness in the lawyer’s RM9.5 million money laundering trial.

Lead defence counsel Harvinderjit Singh raised the preliminary objection against the witness statement of former Inland Revenue Board (IRB) officer Syed Nasrul Fahmi Syed Mohamad.

The sixth prosecution witness is yet to take the witness stand during the proceedings before Kuala Lumpur High Court judge Muhammad Jamil Hussin.

Today's money laundering trial was in relation to the RM9.5 million that Shafee (above) received from former prime minister Najib Abdul Razak.

Harvinderjit contended that 33 paragraphs out of the total 51 paragraphs be expunged due to their alleged prejudicial element.

The lawyer claimed that the upcoming prosecution witness is not a legal expert but made statements in the proposed testimony that sounded like legal pronouncements.

Harvinderjit claimed that a reading of the witness statement seemed to show that the witness has arrived at a finding of guilty against Shafee, of which only a proper judge is in a position to do.

“It is strange when one reads the witness statement. His (Syed Nasrul) qualification is accountancy and not law, and yet he gives an opinion (via the witness statement) about the interpretation of the provisions of the Income Tax Act.

“That is a legal opinion and the only person who can give a legal opinion is Yang Arif,” Harvinderjit informed Jamil.

Lead defence counsel Harvinderjit Singh

Deputy public prosecutor Afzainizam Abdul Aziz then objected against the defence’s bid to expunge 33 paragraphs out of the total 51 paragraphs of Syed Nasrul’s witness statement.

The prosecutor contended that the issues raised by the defence are very serious and should be dealt with first.

“If the court rules not in our favour, then it means we cannot use the witness statement altogether.

“If expunged, it would mess up the evidence to be tendered by the prosecution.

“We are opposing the objection and would like to deal with it first on a later date,” Afzainizam said.

However, Jamil told parties that he would wish to hear Syed Nasrul read out from his witness testimony first when the trial resumes on Dec 8.

The judge said he would then be in a better position to decide over the defence’s objections. Proceedings then adjourned today.

Claimed trial to four charges

On Sept 13, 2018, at the Kuala Lumpur Sessions Court, Shafee claimed trial to four charges linked to the RM9.5 million allegedly received from Najib, via two cheques. 

The lawyer was charged with two counts of money laundering over the RM9.5 million, which he was accused of receiving in two tranches, the first RM4.3 million on Sept 13, 2013, and the second payment of RM5.2 million on Feb 17, 2014.

Shafee was also charged with two counts of involvement in transactions of proceeds from unlawful activity, by making inaccurate statements in relation to the payments on March 3 and June 29, 2015.

The 69-year-old lawyer was alleged to have deposited the two cheques into his personal account at a CIMB Bank branch in Bukit Tunku, Kuala Lumpur.

For the first two charges, Shafee was charged under Section 4(1)(b) of the Anti-Money Laundering and Anti-Terrorism Financing Act (Amla) 2001.

The other two charges are framed under Section 113(1)(a) of the Income Tax Act 1967.

The case was later transferred to the High Court in Kuala Lumpur.

Najib is facing numerous separate criminal trials, among them the RM2.28 billion 1MDB corruption case. His counsel is Shafee. - Mkini

Pragmatic paradigm needed in tackling tobacco harm

 

From Benedict Weerasena

Every 20 minutes, one Malaysian dies from a disease related to smoking, such as cancer, stroke or heart disease. This results in over 27,200 smoking-related deaths annually, according to the National Health and Morbidity Survey (NHMS) 2019.

Despite this alarming news, tobacco prevalence remains high in which slightly over one in five Malaysians aged 15 and above smoke tobacco.

Nonetheless, tobacco prevalence is on a slight downward trend with a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of -1.0%. At the current rate of reduction, Malaysia will only achieve its 2025 target of 15% in 2042.

This failure beckons the question on whether the measures taken to reduce tobacco use have been overly idealistic. Have the tobacco control and regulation efforts in addition to multiple preventive measures been effective enough? Otherwise, should we employ a more pragmatic approach to reduce tobacco prevalence?

Idealism versus pragmatism has been a long ongoing debate when it comes to policy-making. Idealist policy-makers focus on the end goal of visionary ideas. For example, Malaysia’s ideal goal of reducing tobacco prevalence to 15% by 2025 and finally an endgame target of less than 5% in 2045. This goal is certainly commendable, yet seemingly impossible to achieve.

On the other hand, pragmatic policy-makers focus on the practical including the roadblocks and challenges faced in getting to the end-result. It is a realistic recognition that while the preferred goal is complete cessation of harmful habits, this goal is not always achievable.

Take, for instance, those who understand that quitting smoking is incredibly difficult due to biopsychosocial reasons, in addition to the highly addictive nicotine. What about those who choose to continue smoking to cope with the monotony of working long hours or are in high stress jobs? How can we as policy-makers offer practical and realistic solutions to reduce the harmful effects of smoking?

One pragmatic solution that is proven effective on the global stage is employing a strategy of tobacco harm reduction. This strategy seeks to reduce smoking-related disease and death by encouraging smokers to switch to better alternatives.

Reputable institutions and independent researchers have highlighted the less harmful effects of electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS) such as e-cigarettes and vaping devices and also heated tobacco products (HTP), which have been highly effective in empowering cessation efforts.

For instance, New Zealand amended the Smokefree Environments and Regulated Products Act in 2020 to include ENDS and HTP to allow smokers to switch to less harmful alternatives.

In addition, it recently introduced the “QuitStrong” campaign to encourage vaping as a way to quit smoking, in line with its Smokefree 2025 goal launched in 2011.

This long-term goal, which incorporates numerous harm reduction strategies, has been successful, bringing down smoking prevalence from 18.2% in 2011 to 13.4% in 2019 with a CAGR of -3.8%.

Another example is Japan, which allows the substitution of combustible cigarettes with lower risk HTPs in the market, in line with the harm reduction concept. Moreover, HTPs are taxed differently than cigarettes and exempted from indoor or outdoor smoking bans in certain cities, receiving less stringent regulatory settings than conventional cigarettes. These policies have been associated with the success of reducing smoking prevalence with a CAGR of -5.2%.

It is time for Malaysia to emulate these leading nations who have successfully demonstrated the effectiveness of pragmatism in tobacco control policies. We need a paradigm shift away from the idealistic notion of banning or applying cigarette-like restrictions on less harmful alternatives such as HTPs and ENDS.

Instead, we need science-backed and well-thought-through regulation grounded on tobacco harm reduction strategies towards better overall public health. - FMT

Benedict Weerasena is an economist with Bait Al-Amanah.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.

Kanak-kanak 11 tahun maut jatuh dari tingkat 7

 

Mangsa meninggal dunia di hospital pada 7 petang semalam dan kes diklasifikasi sebagai mati mengejut, menurut polis.

PETALING JAYA: Seorang kanak-kanak perempuan berusia 11 tahun maut selepas dipercayai terjatuh dari tingkat tujuh di sebuah pangsapuri di Presint 5 Putrajaya, semalam.

Ketua Polis Daerah Putrajaya A Asmadi Abdul Aziz berkata, kejadian dipercayai berlaku ketika mangsa berada dalam bilik tidur seorang diri selepas mengikuti sesi Pengajaran dan Pembelajaran di Rumah (PdPR).

Menurutnya, mangsa hanya tinggal bersama kakaknya berusia 14 tahun dan adik lelaki berusia tujuh tahun, manakala ibu bapa mereka keluar bekerja.

Katanya, sebaik pasangan itu pulang dari tempat kerja pada jam 6 petang, bilik mangsa didapati berkunci dari dalam.

“Selepas membuka pintu dengan kunci pendua, mangsa didapati tiada di dalam bilik dan tingkap dan jeriji terbuka. Ibu bapa mangsa bergegas turun ke tingkat bawah pangsapuri dan mendapati orang ramai sedang berkumpul melihat anaknya yang terbaring di atas lantai,” katanya menurut laporan Berita Harian.

Katanya, mangsa yang berada dalam keadaan kritikal diberikan rawatan kecemasan oleh Pasukan Bomba dan Penyelamat (JBPM) pada jam 6.45 petang dan dibawa ke Hospital Putrajaya oleh ambulans.

“Hasil pemeriksaan di bilik mangsa mendapati tiada unsur jenayah dan pemeriksaan doktor mendapati mangsa patah kedua belah siku dan kaki kiri manakala punca kematian akan diketahui selepas bedah siasat diadakan.”

“Mangsa meninggal dunia di hospital pada 7 petang dan kes diklasifikasi sebagai mati mengejut. Siasatan masih dijalankan bagi mengetahui punca sebenar kejadian,” katanya. - FMT

Minister to meet Pandelela over alleged sexual harassment

 

Ahmad Faizal Azumu says he will meet Pandelela Rinong to get a detailed explanation before taking further action.

KUALA LUMPUR: Youth and sports minister Ahmad Faizal Azumu will meet national Olympian Pandelela Rinong over her recent revelations on alleged sexual harassment.

He also appealed to all athletes to stand up and speak up so immediate action can be taken.

Faizal was responding in the Dewan Rakyat to former youth and sports minister Syed Saddiq Syed Abdul Rahman, who had asked him to clarify his statement yesterday questioning Pandelela for raising allegations against a former coach as the incident happened “long ago”.

Faizal said his statement had been taken “out of context”.

He said he will get a detailed explanation from Pandelela before taking further action.

Syed Saddiq had also questioned Faizal over the government’s stand on the matter as national gymnast Farah Ann Abdul Hadi and swimmer Cindy Ong had also raised such issues.

Faizal said the government would not condone such incidents.

On Syed Saddiq’s request for a high-level committee, represented by all parties, to look into the issue, Faizal said his ministry will set it up to ensure a comprehensive probe is done.

The national sports council has also been asked to focus on gender sensitivity to instill respect for all, he said.

Gobind Singh Deo (PH-Puchong) also hit out at Faizal’s “long ago” comment, saying there was no time frame for reporting a criminal offence.

“Does he know there is no time limitation in criminal law?” Gobind asked.

He told Faizal that as a minister, he should stand up for athletes who face such issues.

Faizal stood up and agreed with Gobind. “I am aware there is no time frame. During the press conference, I said that I will listen to all parties before giving any explanation,” he said. - FMT

16 company directors nabbed over alleged misappropriation of Mitra funds

 

The arrests follow allegations that ‘millions’ of Mitra’s funds have been mishandled.

PETALING JAYA: Sixteen company directors have been arrested by the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) on suspicion of being involved in the misappropriation of the Malaysian Indian Transformation Unit (Mitra) funds.

Bernama quoted an MACC source as saying the suspects were detained in a large-scale operation in the Klang Valley last night.

An agency under the national unity ministry tasked with allocating grants to groups implementing socio-economic programmes for the Indian community, Mitra has come under the spotlight following claims that its funds had been mishandled.

This has led to calls by MPs and NGOs for greater accountability and transparency.

The source estimated that tens of millions had been siphoned off by a group.

“We estimate that almost 60% of the grant allocation received by companies, individuals and foundations for the purpose of implementing socio-economic development programmes did not reach the proper target group,” the source said.

“This allocation was applied from Mitra and then misappropriated for the benefit of certain individuals.”

MACC chief Azam Baki confirmed the arrests with Bernama and said that investigations were being held under Section 16 (a) and Section 18 of the MACC Act 2009.

The suspects, aged between 24 and 68, will be brought to the Putrajaya magistrates’ court today for a remand hearing. - FMT

Serba Dinamik gets more time to release annual report, special review findings

 

Trading in Serba Dinamik Holdings Bhd was suspended last Friday and will resume after the findings of a special independent review in relation to transactions of more than RM3 billion are announced.

PETALING JAYA: Serba Dinamik Holdings Bhd has been granted a one-month extension by Bursa Malaysia to issue its annual report, including its audited financial statements and the auditors’ and directors’ reports for the financial year ended June 30, 2021.

The new deadline, originally scheduled for today, is Nov 30.

The stock exchange directed the oil and gas company on Oct 22 to announce the factual findings update from the special independent review conducted by auditing firm Ernst & Young (E&Y).

In response to the directive, Serba Dinamik said its directors had not been given any factual findings by E&Y.

“There were no documents or copy of any documents that fit the description of ‘Factual Findings Update as at Sept 30, 2021’ given to the independent non-executive directors as at Oct 22, 2021,” it said in a filing.

Serba Dinamik said the terms of engagement with E&Y stipulated that no work products would be distributed to any parties, including the regulators, before and/or after the status update.

The terms of engagement also prohibited the quoting of or reference to, any report, including its portion, summary or abstract.

“Additionally, documents from E&Y do not fall within paragraph 9.03 and 9.35A of the Main Market Listing Requirement. The auditing firm is still in the midst of performing the Special Independent Review,” it said in its filing.

Trading in the company was suspended last Friday, which Bursa said would be lifted once the findings and factual reports are given to the directors.

The factual findings are in relation to transactions flagged by its former external auditor KPMG of sums totalling more than RM3 billion. - FMT