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Tuesday, May 11, 2021

TUESDAY JOKES - 55

 

A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were copying copies, not the original books. 

The new monk went to the head monk to ask him about this. He pointed out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk said, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." 

The head monk went down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.
Hours later, nobody had seen him, so one of the monks went downstairs to look for him. He heard a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and found the old monk leaning over one of the original books, crying. He asked what was wrong.
"The word is 'celibate'," said the head monk.



Are Lipton Tea employees allowed to take coffee breaks?


A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a rainstorm and flood. He e-mails his office in NY: "Delayed by storm. Send instructions." 
His boss e-mails back: "Start vacation immediately." 



What hair colour do they put on the drivers' licenses of bald men?



A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?"
"What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?"
"Well, no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. But it's all right. I'll trust you anyway."



Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? 

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?


Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”
Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”
Doctor: “Every two hours.”


Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results were:
Drink: Beer.
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks.
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks.
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows exactly what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her, if she is interested, she'll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine.
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.
Drink: White Zinfandel.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is.... this should be an easy target.
Drink: Shots.
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk...... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad!
Then there is the MALE addendum. The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:
Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.
Whiskey: He doesn't give a hoot about anything but getting laid.
Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.
White Zinfandel: He's gay.

As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.

Nightmare continues for sexual harassment victim from UM

 


The mental torture never ends for a sexual harassment victim.

Soleil Ching (not her real name), who was sexually harassed by an associate professor at Universiti Malaya two years ago, is still having nightmares.

She simply can't get it out of her mind.

"In the nightmare, I was sexually harassed, again. I was on a bus and he was sitting behind me. I resisted and told him 'Don't touch me', but he did not stop.

"There was a girl sitting next to me, and there are many people sitting in front of me. I yelled, loudly, and everyone around must have heard it.

"But I feel that their reaction was like 'Oh, she has resisted, so maybe there is no need to help her anymore'. No one helped me in the end.

"I told him 'Stop it, or I will throw you under the bus!' Again, he did not listen. I was going to pull him off and throw him down. 

"Some boys were sitting near the door. I told them he had been sexually harassing me, so please help me get him out of the bus.

"However, they were too kind. They just held him at the front to prevent him from harassing me. Finally, I got back my peace of mind..."

Encounter with associate professor

Ching will never forget that day. It was June 3, 2019, the study week before the final examination. The corridor leading to the lecturers' office was quiet as students were studying at home.

The associate professor harassed her in his office when she went to hand in her homework and return some books.

He hugged her, touched her hips, then her neck, and asked several questions that invaded her privacy. Knowing that there was no one outside the office, she was full of fear and did not dare confront him directly.

When he tried to use his finger to touch her chin, she resisted and blocked his advances. She quickly gave some excuses, then grabbed her bag and left.

Through her classmates, he continued asking her to go to his office. He claimed that he could solve whatever questions she had in preparation for the examination.

"I was really stressed, nearly on the verge of a breakdown. He continued to ask me to go to his office afterwards...," the 24-year-old told Malaysiakini in an interview recently.

During the examination, although she sat at the corner of a huge lecture hall, he approached to talk to her. Fortunately, her friend saw it and helped to divert his attention by raising his hand and asked him some questions.

"I took his class, so I still have to sit for his exam. I was thinking of not going and deliberately flunk the subject. But my friend persuaded me to go," she said.

Punishment not revealed

On July 1, 2019, she lodged an official complaint to the UM integrity unit over the incident.

Months later, although the associate professor was suspended during the investigation, he was still able to enter the campus and walk around the department.

"He often comes to the university in the evening. I was so afraid of meeting him. Our department is so small. In fact, I met him a few times."

One of the lecturers told her that she should just hide if she was afraid.

"Although I dared to report him, I was still afraid that he will come back and do something to me. I felt puzzled. Why I am the one who had to hide, why not him?

"He was the perpetrator, and everyone in the department knew it was him. But he can still swagger around. In contrast, I was like a rat crossing the street, avoiding him everywhere."

The handling of her sexual harassment complaint was slow. The associate professor reportedly had retired in June 2020, one year after the incident.

Until then, Ching did not know what was his punishment. Dissatisfied with the way UM proceeded with the matter, she lodged a police report in July 2020.

Soleil Ching (not real name) after lodging her police report

Accompanied by the representatives from the UM Student Union and the UM Association of New Youth (Umany), she also held a press conference to expose the incident to the public. 

After the incident attracted media attention, UM responded that action had been taken against the associate professor. However, the university refused to reveal what the punishment was, citing privacy concerns and administrative regulations. 

The police later confirmed ending their investigation because the suspect had already faced disciplinary action by UM. 

According to UM's Code of Practice on the Prevention and Handling of Sexual Harassment Case, if the party accused is an employee, the possible punishment can be a warning, fine, removal of emolument rights, postponement in salary adjustment, salary deduction, demotion or termination. 

Umany president Yap Wen Qing claimed that the associate professor was demoted and had already retired by the time verdict was given, according to The Star

More victims but they did not pursue

Research conducted by Universiti Sains Malaysia in 2011 showed that over three-quarters of undergraduate students experienced sexual harassment on campus at least once. Among them, female students accounted for more than 60 percent of the victims. 

Sexual harassment is rampant and it has been a long-standing issue.

However, Ching's case is rare. She not only filed a complaint with the UM's authority and kept pursuing it, but she also reported the matter to the police and exposed the issue to the public.

During this interview, she revealed that the associate professor allegedly harassed at least three more students.

She said the earliest case can be traced back to more than ten years ago and before her case, there was a foreign student who was also allegedly harassed.

"He used similar tactics. However, I cannot disclose the details of how it happened because I need to keep it confidential," Ching said, adding that she was the third victim.

After making her complaint, she said there was a fourth victim who went through a similarly unpleasant experience.

Ching said some victims were unwilling to show up because they just did not want to continue enduring the bad experience. They hesitated and eventually decided not to file a complaint.

"Most victims usually don't want to get involved with this anymore. If they expose it, it will even be more difficult for them. I think I can understand why they are not willing to do so.

"If no one speaks up, the society will assume that these things do not happen and the issue does not exist."

In fact, she created the name "Wei Yin" for herself, which literally means "the only voice" in Chinese.

"Perhaps, it can also mean treating your inner voice as the only voice, believing in it and following it," she said in a positive tone.

Self-condemnation

In fact, Ching was not filled with such positivity from the beginning.

She described herself as an introvert who was always quiet in class. After being sexually harassed, she fell into vicious self-condemnation and self-doubt.

"I actually blamed myself at first, I asked myself a lot of questions. What if I didn't go to his office, what if I didn't wear a skirt on that day, what if I didn't wear it like this..."

She loves to wear skirts and wearing them is obviously not a sin. With the help of her friends, she gradually overcame the self-doubts.

"My friends shared with me some relatively correct concepts. They encouraged me and told me that it was not my fault, but the perpetrator's fault."

Initially, she was worried that exposing it would tarnish the reputation of the department and the university. After the encouragement she received from her friends, she started to believe that her action could prevent others from being victimised.

"If a university wants to improve or preserve its reputation, it should try its best to help the victims by solving their problems, instead of burying the issue."

In the aftermath, Ching and her friend figured out that the associate professor may have targeted her as the "prey". She recalled that he once asked her classmates whether she lived alone.

"Looking back, we felt it was all premeditated when he chose some of his preys. Maybe he thought since I seemed very quiet, I would not tell anyone if he treated me that way."

After the incident, Ching also found out that she could have submitted her assignment to the department's office, instead of the associate professor's office.

"At that time, he said he wanted to get the documents from the department for me to sign. So, he went out and I was waiting inside. When he came in later, he started to behave strangely. It was like he changed into a different person suddenly."

No support from family

The whole year after the incident, Ching went through mental preparation and a journey of self-empowerment before she lodged the police report and faced the media.

She also took a class on gender studies and researched articles related to sexual harassment to equip herself on the subject.

"Through reading them, I got to realise that it wasn't my fault. It was the perpetrator's fault. I should not blame myself. The incident happened on June 3, 2019, and the press conference was on July 15, 2020. I did a lot of mental preparation before I faced the press."

In the beginning, Ching did not have the courage to tell her family what happened to her. A day before the press conference, she decided to do it.

"When I was about to tell them, I couldn't speak a word, so I just hung up the phone. Later, it was my friend who helped me to call them and tell them about it because I really couldn't speak."

Unfortunately, she did not get the support she wanted from her parents. This left her utterly disappointed.

The next morning, she received a call from her mother. "I have discussed with your father all night, and we think it would be better not report to the police," her mother told her.

"My mother said that I should not fight against the university. What if the perpetrator sued me for defamation? 

"She also said she had told our relatives that I am about to graduate from UM. If I couldn't graduate on time, how would she explain to the relatives? I was really disheartened at that time."

Ching also recalled her experience of facing police officers and reporters for the first time and having the unpleasant task of repeating how she was sexually harassed.

"Every time you speak out about it, you have to recall the unpleasant incident. It's a kind of secondary damage... the process of repeating my story. Some believed and encouraged me, but there were also voices of disbelief."

After the press conference, she said her mother was not interested in her physical and mental condition, and only cared about the number of reporters who attended.

Her mother's reaction made her even more disappointed and discouraged.

"I tried to understand them. My parents experienced the racial riots in the late 60s, and the Chinese (at their age) tend to be relatively reserved and restrained.

"Therefore, my parents may think that Chinese people should just endure everything, whatever it is. That's how they think. Fighting the university's authority, lodging police report and revealing all to the public... a very big deal for them.

"I can understand them now, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt me. I can't really forgive them until now."

Pain and scars

The whole thing was stressful for Ching. To put it simply, she was emotionally overwhelmed. She could not help cutting her wrist several times.

"I care about my appearance very much. When I found out that it will leave scars on my wrist, I told myself I won't do it anymore."

Her university life changed dramatically. After the incident, she made the effort to cope with the pain and barely maintained her studies.

"I felt there was something that has not really ended. As I was immersed in the vicious cycle of emotional pain, I could not enjoy my Year 3 of university life."

The perpetrator was her thesis adviser and she had no choice but to change the topic of her thesis after the incident. This further delayed her graduation. Ching is now a fifth-year student. 

After two years, she feels the matter is not over and justice has yet to be served.

Some may ask "What else does she want?" since the associate professor had received his punishment.

"I just want him to know what he did was wrong. He doesn't."

Ching said he seemed to be living his retirement life as a scholar, while she is still facing the trauma of sexual harassment.

After the nightmare, she realised the possible psychological impact of the incident may not have been properly addressed.

This year, she finally stepped into a counselling room, searching for an answer. - Mkini

MCO 3.0: Festive air missing at Kelantan's 'Kampung Lemang'

 


Several days before Muslims celebrate Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Kelantan's famed 'Kampung Lemang' in Manek Urai, Kuala Krai, would typically have a festive air, with lemang stalls set up by the roadside to welcome travellers returning home.

However, travel restrictions under the third round of movement control order announced last night have put an end to the annual activity.

Lemang trader Shahzana Eleza Jusoh, 40, who set up a business with her husband, Ismalil Hassan, 43, at Kampung Lepan Jenut in Kuala Krai said their income has been badly affected this year.

"The difference in the celebration and festive air is sorely felt. I am very sad because there will be no celebrations like in the past years.

"In the years before Covid-19, if the travellers returned home, demand could go up to 500 sticks of lemang with an average income of RM2,500 daily in the last few days leading to Hari Raya," Shahzana told Malaysiakini.

"But if we see today, as of this evening, not more than 20 sticks have been sold," she added.

Shahzana said she also suffered losses after a large number of bamboo poles bought to make the lemang ended up unused and ruined.

"Since there is no demand because those out of state cannot return home and also the inter-district ban, about 100 bamboo poles are now ruined," she said.

'Repeat order from customers'

Meanwhile, for Sarina Hassan, 46, a lemang trader at Kampung Pangkal Senor, Kuala Krai, there has been little impact on her business of 14 years, thanks to orders from permanent customers.

She said her orders mostly came from the surrounding police stations, no different from the previous years.

"I am lucky to receive large orders from the police stations that will come to order lemang from me.

"Several stations, for example, Ayer Lanas, Jeli district police station and Pasir Putih will order more than 200 lemang each," she said.

"Through the orders, I can recoup my capital and make some profit," she said.

At the same time, Sarina admitted that the MCO restrictions have affected overall demand and income compared to previous years.

"Before Covid-19, the week before Raya could see daily sales recording between RM1,000 and RM1,500 gross profit.

"But in these times if we don't take into account the repeat orders, just daily sales, I only managed to record a profit of around RM200 daily or equal to 8kg of lemang," she said.

On Sunday, Kelantan police chief Shafien Mamat reportedly said more than 500 vehicles attempting to enter the state without interstate travel permit were ordered to turn back.

He said the number was recorded between 12am and 5pm on Saturday at three main entry points to the state, namely, Gua Musang, Pasir Puteh and Jeli. - Mkini

Pejuang info chief: Ask Hamzah about efforts to lobby Dr M

 


Those denying that Bersatu is courting former prime minister Dr Mahathir Mohamad need to only consult the party's secretary-general Hamzah Zainudin, said Pejuang pro-tem information chief Ulya Aqamah Husamudin.

He said this in response to Bersatu information chief Wan Saiful Wan Jan who denied that the party was making offers to Mahathir, who is Pejuang's adviser.

Mahathir had set up Pejuang after being expelled from Bersatu, which he also founded and had served as its chairperson.

"The fact is that there are still those who are trying to convince us to return to Bersatu. Just ask Hamzah who is among those who had tried to convince Mahathir to return to Bersatu.

"But our principles are not for sale. It is impossible for us to buy what is said by those who had betrayed the people's mandate," Ulya Aqamah said in a statement.

He added that Wan Saiful's denial that Bersatu had also made offers to keep leaders in the party also ran contrary to the leaked audio recording which purportedly showed Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin offering positions in exchange for support.

Pejuang pro-tem information chief Ulya Aqamah Husamudin

Wan Saiful had dismissed Mahathir's claim of offers as a ploy and said Pejuang should instead focus on what it can offer.

Ulya Aqamah said Pejuang, in contrast to Bersatu, stuck to what it preached.

"We reject corruption, abuse of power and refuse to work with those who betrayed the people's mandate.

"We stick to our principles even if it meant that we lose all positions and privileges," he said.

He added that Wan Saiful should instead focus on the Perikatan Nasional government's failure in governance.

"They range from the uncontrollable rise of Covid-19 cases to political interference in the police force as well as the people's socio-economic problems due to an incompetent government," he said. - Mkini

Failed politicians are the ones who should resign - Kit Siang tells Hadi

 


Failed politicians, not civil servants, are the ones who should resign.

This is according to Iskandar Puteri MP Lim Kit Siang who was responding to PAS president Abdul Hadi Awang who had asked civil servants who refuse to support the Perikatan Nasional government to resign.

"I do not agree with Hadi as I believe that it is the political leaders who have failed in their duties, like those in the bloated Muhyiddin cabinet who, in the national interest, should resign.

"I do not fault civil servants who are not prepared to see the Malaysian civil service deteriorate into a kakistocracy," Lim said in a statement today.

Last Sunday, Hadi said those who do not support the government of the day are morally bound to resign.

The Marang MP added that it was morally wrong for Pakatan Harapan supporters, who are now serving under the PN government, to follow the instructions of the previous government.

Lim said the flurried manner in which the nationwide third movement control order (MCO 3.0) was announced yesterday, less than a month after Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin assured there won't be one, was proof of Putrajaya's failure.

"There was no time to arrange for a live telecast by the prime minister, which must be a blessing in disguise as Muhyiddin cannot be unaware of the huge deficit in public trust and confidence in government’s decisions and announcements, particularly those relating to the Covid-19 pandemic.

"The decision of a national MCO 3.0 was the culmination of two days of dizzying confusion and chaos in the handling of the Covid-19 pandemic, with different ministries making confusing and conflicting statements about the meaning of MCO 3.0 and conditional MCO, causing hardships and sufferings to the people, particularly petty traders and SMEs (small and medium enterprises)," he added.

Lim said Malaysia was among the worse performing countries in the battle against Covid-19 in the region and warned that the country could become a "mini-India".

India is now recording the world's highest increase in new Covid-19 cases.

Yesterday, India added more than 366,000 new Covid-19 cases, more than 10 times Brazil's 34,162 new cases, which is in second place.

"Would Muhyiddin and his bloated cabinet accept responsibility for the worsening Covid-19 crisis in Malaysia?" Lim asked. - Mkini

MCO 3.0: Fresh calls for loan moratorium and cash aids

 


As Malaysians brace for the third round of nationwide movement control order, fresh calls have been made for the government to immediately issue a three-month loan moratorium and other supportive packages, including cash aids.

The National Muslim Students Association (PKPIM) said the government should expedite the distribution of existing cash aids, as well as other announced assistance, including 150,000 free laptops to assist students' home learning process.

In a statement, PKPIM president Ahmad Farhan Rosli said the government should also slash salaries of ministers and MPs by 50 percent for an additional income to be channelled as aids or towards the national vaccination programme.

Other suggestions include the government’s compensation for traders affected by its last-minute announcements surrounding the enforcement of the MCO, with only two more days left before the Hari Raya Aidilfitri celebrations.

PKPIM president Ahmad Farhan Rosli

"Cut down on statements that add on to the people's sufferings. Let us all unite to break the Covid-19 infection chain.

"What is needed right now is action and the best management from stakeholders of the people's voice," Ahmad Farhan said.

Meanwhile, a DAP leader also called for another round of three-month blanket loan moratorium, on top of other forms of support, including cash aids.

DAP assistant national publicity secretary Zairil Khir Johari said the move was needed to reduce the economic burdens that are surely threatening the rakyat.

"With SMEs employing almost half of Malaysia’s labour force, a loan moratorium will have an immediate impact on this important sector of the economy.

"Business owners can improve their cash flow while employees will be encouraged by increased job security," the Penang DAP vice-chairperson said in a statement today.

DAP assistant national publicity secretary Zairil Khir Johari

"With the youth unemployment rate recording a worrying high of 13.9 percent earlier this year and unemployment generally hovering around the 4.8 percent mark, a loan moratorium would undoubtedly help save many jobs.

"More importantly, a loan moratorium such as the one implemented last year would provide instant relief to millions of borrowers besides lubricating the economy with some badly-needed liquidity," he added.

Zairil claimed that despite six major stimulus packages amounting to RM340 billion being announced in the past year, the impact was not felt by most ordinary citizens who remain cash-strapped.

As such, he said the government should consider providing targeted monthly cash assistance of RM1,000 for the B40 and RM500 for the M40 for three months.

Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin last night announced that the entire country will be placed under Covid-19 prevention MCO restrictions from May 12 until June 7.

The decision, while expected due to the rising Covid-19 cases, courted backlash for its sudden nature as Muhyiddin had previously stated on March 18 during his Pemerkasa speech that a blanket MCO was unlikely to be imposed again. - Mkini