Last
year, I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive
double-pane energy efficient kind.
But
this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been
completed for a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.
Boy, oh
boy did we go 'round. Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am
automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking
sales guy had told me last year. that in one year the windows would pay for
themselves.
There
was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard
since. Guess I must have won that silly argument!
Late
one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another patient asked,
"How do you know?"
The first inmate said,
"Because God told me!"
Just
then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"
What's
the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A
golfer goes *whack* "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn"
*whack!*
I didn't know my dad was a
construction site thief.
When I
got home, all the signs were there!
What's the best thing about
Switzerland?
I don't
know, but their flag is a huge plus!
Two
small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the
zoo one day.
"My name is Ahmad. What's
yours?" asked the first boy.
"Kassim," replied the
second.
"My daddy's an accountant.
What does your daddy do for a living?" asked Ahmad.
Kassim
replied, "My daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked
Ahmad.
"No,
just the regular kind!", replied Kassim.
Son:
"Dad, did you go to Church when you were little?"
Dad: "Yes son, every
single Sunday."
Son:
"I thought so. Bet it won't do me any good either!"
A
teacher asks the kids in her Standard Six class: 'What do you want to be when
you grow up?'
Little Sham says: 'I want to
start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive
clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over five million
ringgit, a luxury apartment in Tokyo, a mansion in Singapore, a jet to travel
throughout Asia, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a
loose screen door in a hurricane.'
The
teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from
little Sham, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to
continue with the lesson 'And how about you, Liza?'
'I want to be Sham's whore!'
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