What other crosses are to be banned next?

One thing that I like about Malaysiakini is that the pages are so packed with news that sometimes make me laugh, to the point of shedding tears, when I think about our country’s current political landscape.

First, in pointing out Deputy International Trade and Industry Minister Ahmad Maslan’s irony with his three jobs, DAP supremo Lim Kit Siang quoted our own stand-up comedian, emcee, writer, actor, coach and director, Harith Iskandar.

Even Harith could tell that Ahmad Maslan lacks the IQ to differentiate between a role and a job. Like Harith, most of us are already fed up with what we see in the political landscape today.

They say that birds of the same feather flock together; even Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Paul Low has become one of them, when he tried to justify his position in the cabinet recently during a Christmas do.

To Low, I have to remind him of the Apostle Paul’s exhortation, “Be ye separate.” Even the English idiom has this word of advice for him: “Bad company spoils good character.”

It is time for him and others to get real and abandon the cabinet, instead of being self-deceived, or like Low, trying to justify his ‘divine calling’. Another Christian wanted to convey to Low that Lot had to leave Sodom and Gomorrah, because God could not find even 10 righteous people in these two cities!

I tend to agree with Lim that it is about time for Harith to stand aside and let some of our ministers and deputy ministers entertain us with their daily spouts of folly that borders moronity. Ahmad Maslan might as well add a few more jobs that he has to perform as father, husband and (pardon me for my language) a stand-up comedian replacing Harith.

‘Don’t believe all views’

Then, we have Communications and Multimedia Minister Salleh Said Keruak who was reported as saying that “not all views disseminated, including through the internet, newspapers and magazines were true.”

Furthermore, he said Islam clearly enjoined its followers to always think well and not to be prejudiced towards others.

Well said! Yet one cannot help but remember that this was the minister who tried to implicate former opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim of committing sodomy when he wrote, “Meanwhile, for six years from September 1998 until September 2004, Anwar was subjected to trial by media on the basis that he was guilty until and unless he can prove his innocence.”

Mind you, Salleh has never fully understood the natural cause of justice: “Innocent, until proven guilty.”

Salleh was quick to slander Anwar - who was apparently unable to defend himself - when he elaborated: “Even after the court acquitted him (Anwar) due to the failure of the prosecution to prove Anwar’s guilt, the stigma still remains.”

The stigma? What stigma comes to mind, except a statement which has been stuck on Salleh’s portfolio ever since he said that the Malaysian publicprefers lower Internet speed.

Yet, this same (Mat) Salleh is claiming to be speaking on behalf of the Malaysian public, many of whom would agree with Queen’s Counsel Mark Trowell, whose book, “The Prosecution of Anwar Ibrahim” has put together all the jigsaw puzzles that Anwar is behind bars today as a prisoner of conscience.

Now, there is the story coming out of Langkawi where a developer will be hauled up to be interrogated by the local council officers because the terraced homes they built near Taman Sri Langkawi and Kampung Bakau were said to look like a row of sea-facing white crosses.

There goes the ‘righteous’ preaching of our “Mat” Salleh Keruak about Muslims not being prejudiced towards others, yet anything that appears like a cross suddenly becomes an offence. What is worse, is that the little Napoleons at the local council chose to waste time on questioning the developer for an explanation!

If the word is so offensive, then Muslims should not play crossword puzzles, travel past any crossroads, or even become crossed with anyone who uses a cross on the building façade.

And, Muslims - I mean, the troublemakers in this country - should demand the government to tear down the KL International Airport (KLIA) which has the shape of a cross when seen from a certain angle.

More than one kind of cross

Local councils should ban all windows which have the resemblance of the cross and stop drawing zebra crossings on the roads, too. No one should cross the road, instead they should zigzag just to get over to the other side of the road.

Schools should ban cross country runs and we should not cross the border when travelling from one state to another; otherwise, we risk being called a “deviant” like the G25 being branded as such by their fellow Muslims from Perkasa.

Our athletes should not cross the finishing line when they are in a race; or else, they could be booed by the“majority” (borrowing the word from Deputy Prime Minister Ahmad Zahid Hamidi) watching them.

Maybe, this could explain why our athlete Badrul Hisham Abdul Manap’s new 100 metres sprint record was invalid: he posed with his arms stretched out like a cross!

Yes, maybe this is one reason why P Ramlee movies are not being played so much these days, because the actors were usually sitting cross-legged. On that note, nurses should not be doing cross bandages from now on as well.

Incidentally, a four-year-old girl who is learning to write Chinese must have been so bored writing the word ‘tian’ (meaning, padi field) that her writing gradually evolved into a cross hidden in a heart of love.

I sent this to friends via WhatsApp and commented, “Perhaps, this is how the Chinese character evolved over time!” Someone responded saying, “Haha, she is being creative; bored with the same pattern!”

If I had sent this to Perkasa chief Ibrahim Ali, I guess he would be screaming, “It is a plot to proselytise the Malays!” Like I said previously, even the Iban bibles written in Iban - which were confiscated from the Bible Society of Malaysia - could weaken the ‘aqidah’ (faith) of Malay Muslims in the peninsular.

This is how ridiculous things can get. Fortunately, most Malay friends that I have are of the same mind as the G25 group of eminent Malays - who are also Muslims, one of whom even had a Christmas tree at home.

Why can’t all our politicians behave like the Johor sultanah who has penned some wonderful words that raised the dignity of the Malays and Muslims in this country?

To finish off, I hope after reading my article and Lim’s comments, the crossword puzzle with the words, “C_ME_IAN M_NIS_ER” will not be banned.

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STEPHEN NG is an ordinary citizen with an avid interest in following political developments in the country since 2008. -Mkini