THURSDAY JOKES - 239

 

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the Gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.”

The cat says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”
God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, “All our lives we’ve had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.”
God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?”
The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”

I hate it when my wife says “Are you listening to me?”

Such a random way to start a conversation!

 

I heard that you can now print a gun off a 3D printer, but I am not impressed.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years!

 

What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?

Sir!

 

What can an elephant with a machine gun call you?

Anything he likes!

 

What do you call an elephant that is small and pink?

A failure!

Tarzan was tired when he came home.
“What have you been doing”, asked Jane.
“Chasing a herd of elephants on vines”

“Really?”, said Jane. “I thought elephants stayed on the ground!”

 

What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies?
You would miss most of the film!

 

A blonde has sharp pains in her side.

The doctor examines her and says, “You have acute appendicitis.”

The blonde says, “That’s sweet, doc but I came here to get medical help!”

 

Two lunatics are in the recreation room of an asylum. One is playing solitaire and the other is watching. Suddenly, the watcher says, “Hey! You just cheated yourself!”

“Ssh!” The other whispers, “Don’t tell anybody but I’ve been cheating myself at solitaire for years.”

The first nut whispers back, “But, don’t you ever catch yourself?”

“Nope”, the solitaire player says proudly, “I’m way too clever!”

 

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”

The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to intrude on your private grief but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband!”

 

Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile house at Zoo Negara and there are snakes slithering all over the place.

Frantically, the keeper tries everything but he can’t get them back in their cages. Finally, he says, “Quick, call a lawyer!”

“A lawyer? Why??”
“We need someone who speaks their language!”

 

For his wife’s birthday, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
“You are not getting older; you are getting better.”
When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.”
It wasn’t until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered it read:
“YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP; YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM!”

As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.

Warisan’s all-Sabahan pact idea good on paper but unlikely, say analysts

 

Warisan’s Shafie Apdal has ruled out an alliance with parties that had previously poached its assemblymen, an obvious reference to Sabah chief minister Hajiji Noor’s Gagasan Rakyat Sabah.

PETALING JAYA: 

Warisan’s dream of an all-Sabahan electoral alliance at the next state polls with other local parties is unlikely to materialise, two political analysts said.

The two pundits said that, on paper, Warisan could form a formidable alliance with Parti Bersatu Sabah (PBS) and Parti Solidariti Tanah Airku (STAR), both presently part of the Gabungan Rakyat Sabah (GRS) coalition, and even Parti Kesejahteraan Demokratik Masyarakat (KDM).

However, they do not expect any of these parties to break away from GRS after Warisan president Shafie Apdal ruled out the possibility of working with Hajiji Noor’s Parti Gagasan Rakyat Sabah.

Oh Ei Sun of the Singapore Institute of International Affairs expects STAR and PBS to stick with GRS for the state election given the coalition already leads the present state government, which allows access to greater resources and machinery.

“In principle, they complement each other, but such a coalition going into the election is unlikely,” he told FMT, adding that other “mosquito parties” have nothing to offer Warisan.

“But how they will behave after winning seats is anybody’s guess,” he added.

Universiti Malaysia Sabah’s Lee Kuok Tiung said Warisan enjoys strong support in Sabah’s east coast, while PBS and STAR had substantial backing among the Kadazandusun, Murut and Rungus communities in the western region and interiors.

On the other hand, he said, Peter Anthony’s KDM, while only just over two years old, had shown promise in areas with significant Murut and Rungus populations.

However, Lee said, despite their distinct strongholds that complemented each other, omitting Gagasan Rakyat  would leave such a coalition at a disadvantage as the party was a “significant player” in the state.

“Gagasan Rakyat is the anchor party of GRS and holds considerable influence and resources. Excluding it from a grand coalition at the last minute might limit the alliance’s overall reach and effectiveness,” he said.

He also cited PBS and STAR’s memorandum of understanding earlier this year to bolster their collaboration under GRS. This was seen as significant after the two parties clashed in the 2020 polls despite being allies.

Lee said this agreement underscored their commitment to GRS and consolidated their positions within the coalition’s framework, deterring them from seeking new alliances.

“The likelihood of an all-Sabahan alliance comprising Warisan, PBS, STAR and KDM in the upcoming state election appears low.”

Warisan has said that it will work with local parties for the Sabah polls, but only if they are bold enough to prevent subservience to national parties such as Barisan Nasional and Pakatan Harapan.

Its information chief Azis Jamman said Warisan would go solo in the state election if local parties were not courageous enough to take such a stand.

Earlier, Shafie ruled out Warisan working with parties that had previously poached its assemblymen, an obvious reference to Hajiji’s Gagasan Rakyat.

Eleven Warisan assemblymen, who were elected in the 2020 state polls, quit the party to join Gagasan Rakyat.

The GRS coalition consists of Gagasan Rakyat and seven other local parties, including PBS and STAR. PBS and STAR did not take in any of the defecting Warisan assemblymen.

Lee said sticking with Hajiji’s coalition would augur well for both PBS and STAR due to its greater access to resources, though it would come at a cost.

As GRS is courting PH for the state polls, he said, this would inevitably force PBS and STAR to give up some traditional seats to the West Malaysia-based coalition, particularly in urban areas.

“However, this can be assuaged by appointing them as assemblymen or senators or giving them posts in government-linked companies,” he said. - FMT

Global tensions over China’s overcapacity will rise under Trump

 

While president-elect Donald Trump’s tariff threats are likely to dominate headlines in the near term, China’s industrial overcapacity remains a larger, core challenge for the global economy and trading system in the coming years.

With recently implemented tariffs by advanced and emerging economies, and Chinese responses and macro stimulus, how this issue may evolve over the next few years is becoming clearer – with significant geopolitical implications.

On Oct 29, a month after US tariffs targeting China’s overcapacity went into effect, the European Commission imposed its own tariffs on Chinese electric vehicles (EVs). While these actions attracted significant media attention, China’s recent World Trade Organization complaint against Turkey’s EV tariffs – a case underscoring China’s failure to discourage major emerging markets from following the lead of developed economies – passed largely under the radar.

At the same time, the surge in Chinese overseas manufacturing is reshaping the global economy and China’s role within it. China’s latest stimulus plan demonstrates that despite the government’s acknowledgment of weak domestic demand, macroeconomic rebalancing remains off the table. The policies driving China’s overcapacity – and the resulting trade tensions – are probably here to stay.

While the US-China trade war may return to the fore with Trump’s promise of 60% tariffs on imports from China, China’s overcapacity is ultimately likely to be felt more acutely in other major economies.

Structural trends suggest that the European Union could bear the brunt of a new China shock and ensuing trade tensions. As Europe’s trade conflict with China escalates, the EU’s EV tariffs – which faced resistance from some member states – may prove to be just the opening salvo.

In response to these pressures, Chinese exporters have turned their attention to developing economies, which accounted for more than 50% of China’s exports in 2023. This trend is expected to persist, further widening China’s trade deficits with major emerging markets.

But while these countries benefit from cheap Chinese goods and direct investment, they are also increasingly frustrated by limited access to China’s markets, which jeopardises their own industrial aspirations.

New US tariffs on China under Trump, who has also promised a 10-20% across-the-board tariff on all imports from other countries, will accelerate the shift of Chinese exports to emerging markets and the EU. This, in turn, would exacerbate these economies’ concerns about Chinese “non-market overcapacity” and trade imbalances.

Non-market overcapacity, though an imperfect term, captures three interconnected economic forces. For starters, China’s industrial policies promote strategic sectors and push for import substitution, systematically reducing foreign imports across multiple industries.

At the same time, persistent macroeconomic imbalances weaken domestic demand and drive China’s massive trade surplus. Lastly, the global economy is highly dependent on Chinese supply chains, which heightens the risk of disruption and economic coercion.

China’s tightened export controls, particularly on critical raw materials whose supply it effectively controls, highlight the risks posed by this dependence. Some may argue that, given the urgency of addressing climate change, overcapacity in key green industries is not necessarily a bad thing.

Yet this argument would be far more compelling if China allowed fair competition in other sectors and did not threaten foreign access to vital clean-energy inputs like graphite.

Through public messaging, multilateral engagement, and targeted tariffs, the US and EU have prompted a necessary reckoning with China’s industrial overcapacity, starting to address the problem before it wreaks havoc on industries and communities.

Encouragingly, there are signs that Chinese firms have scaled back their expansion plans, owing to weak domestic demand and the growing difficulty of exporting excess capacity to international markets. While Chinese authorities have, as expected, largely denied the issue publicly, the external pressure has forced policymakers to take notice.

That said, addressing the complex global challenges posed by China’s overcapacity will require additional trade restrictions and innovative policy tools. The speed with which G7 countries were able to reach a consensus on this issue signals more coordinated action ahead.

As the EU, the US, Japan, and India tighten restrictions on Chinese goods routed through third countries, imports from China are likely to face increased scrutiny on national security, environmental, and labour grounds.

Meanwhile, supply-chain diversification – though still in its early stages – could create significant opportunities for developing economies elsewhere.

China’s primary response to these challenges has been increased foreign direct investment, largely welcomed by its trading partners. Some emerging-market governments have even lowered duties on Chinese EV companies that establish manufacturing facilities within their borders.

But there are growing doubts about the scalability and effectiveness of this approach. Chinese authorities are reportedly pressing for planned EV and battery investments in Europe to be curtailed. In Thailand, Chinese EV companies have faced criticism for not sourcing from local suppliers.

More broadly, expecting Chinese firms to build large-scale manufacturing facilities in every major trading partner is unrealistic. And China’s weak labour market might make the authorities more reluctant to allow manufacturing jobs to move overseas. In fact, Bloomberg reported in September that China had advised automakers to keep certain EV technologies and production capabilities at home.

China’s recent policy shift towards stabilisation measures to support the domestic economy and markets reflects a belated response to weak domestic demand and confidence.

So far, however, government efforts to stimulate consumption – essential for sustainable long-term growth – have been limited to increased funding for an appliance trade-in programme and a reduction in mortgage interest rates. Stabilising the property sector could boost household confidence, but the government has shown little willingness to allocate the necessary resources.

Tackling China’s overcapacity problem will require rebalancing the economy and overhauling industrial policies. Despite government-affiliated economists’ growing discussion of innovative approaches, Chinese leaders remain opposed to essential reforms. As tariffs pile up and geopolitical tensions escalate, exacerbating China’s economic slowdown, they may eventually be forced to confront these structural issues. - FMT

Brendan Kelly, a former director for China economics issues on the US National Security Council staff, is a non-resident fellow on Chinese Economy and Technology at the Asia Society Policy Institute’s Center for China Analysis.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.

I Have Not Been Invited To President Donald Trump's Inauguration, Yet.

 

Well if I am invited I will go. I do miss the American winter sometimes. Sometimes only. I have gone through FIVE winters in the US.

I received the following. Don't know how accurate is this news. But it is fun trivia anyway.

"The heads of state from Australia, New Zealand, Timor Leste, Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, Philippines, Brunei, Myanmar, Laos, Cambodia & Vietnam have been invited for Donald Trump's inauguration on January 20th, 2025.

The Archbishop of Kuala Lumpur J----n L--w and Cardinal S-------n of Penang have also been invited".

To Mr Archbishop and Mr Cardinal if this news is incorrect may I minta maaf upfront? No offense is meant.   Is there anyone missing from this list?

So folks, has anyone else among you been invited to President Donald Trump's Inauguration in Washington?

When Mr Trump first became the 45th president of the United States in 2016 his first visit overseas was to Saudi Arabia where he invited almost ALL the heads of the Islamic countries for a meeting with him. (At that time I was not too keen on Bossku attending that meeting but Trump turned out ok with Malaysia).

This time around I dont think President Trump will be having any such meeting.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.

Bersih’s ‘D’ grade highlights urgent need for reforms, say PH leaders

 

Amanah Youth chief Hasbie Muda (left) said constructive criticism should be embraced, while PKR veteran Hassan Karim said the ‘D’ grade is an improvement from the ‘F’ by Bersih earlier this year.

PETALING JAYA: 

Several Pakatan Harapan (PH) leaders believe that the “D” grade given by Bersih on the unity government’s performance should be taken seriously, with some calling for immediate reforms, as promised.

Amanah Youth chief Hasbie Muda said although the government might not fully agree with the assessment, he believes Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim’s administration is open to constructive criticism.

“Bersih’s evaluation cannot be dismissed. Positive feedback should be embraced and reforms must be expedited.

“Anwar has reiterated the government’s commitment to the reform agenda but intends to implement it gradually and in phases.

“However, I feel that the process needs to be accelerated, and the timeframe for implementation must be clarified,” he told FMT.

PKR veteran Hassan Karim noted that the unity government has shown improvement, having previously been graded “F” by the election watchdog several months ago.

“In my view, this is progress. Moving from an ‘F’ to a ‘D’ grade indicates an improvement of two levels. If the Anwar-led government focusses on improving the economy, it has a bright future in the next election.

“In two or three years, it wouldn’t be surprising if the Madani government’s performance could achieve an A- or even an A+,” the Pasir Gudang MP said.

“If Anwar prioritises tackling poverty and reducing income inequality through the right economic programmes, the unity government will gain broad support from the people,” he added.

Yesterday, Bersih graded the government a “D” for its performance in the two years since its formation and ranked Ismail Sabri Yaakob as the best prime minister since 2009.

Bersih chairman Faisal Abdul Aziz said the unity government’s grade reflected its limited progress in carrying out reforms as well as the gap between its rhetoric and action.

Earlier today, economy minister Rafizi Ramli said he welcomed views from any group, after Bersih’s “D” grade, adding that the people were entitled to their opinion on the performance of the unity government.

The Pandan MP said the unity government will remain focussed on balancing programmes that deal with the cost of living and economic growth, with structural reforms in the human rights and legal sectors. - FMT