Three
guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent
filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all
the women, when suddenly the Sheikh came in. "I am the master of all these
women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what
you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your
profession."
The Sheikh turns to the first
man and asks him what he does for a living.
"I'm a cop," says the
first man.
"Then we will shoot your
willy off!" said the Sheikh.
He then turned to the second
man and asked him what he did for a living.
"I'm a fireman," said
the second man.
"Then we will burn your
willy off!" said the Sheikh.
Finally, he asked the last man,
"And you, what do you do for a living?"
The
third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"
What do
a near-sighted gyneacologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose!
Customer:
I’ll have a hamburger.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer:
No, with pickles and onions!
A
mother decided that her 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for
her birthday.
"Suppose we open a savings
account for you?" mother suggested. Cathy was delighted.
"It's your account,
darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out
the application."
Cathy
was doing fine until she came to the space for 'Name of your former bank.'
After a slight hesitation, she put down, 'Piggy!'
An old
woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her
legs.
The dentist said, “I think you
have the wrong room.”
“You
put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove
them!”
A tramp
knocked on the door of an Inn known as St. George and the Dragon. The landlady
answered the door.
The tramp said, “Could you give
a poor man something to eat?”
"No,” said the woman,
slamming the door in his face.
He
knocked again and said, “Could I have a few words with George?”
A very
old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed, but the old
woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, ”Why are you
going to sleep on the floor?”
The old
woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change!”
A
champion jockey is about to enter an important steeplechase race on a new
horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you
have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you
have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you
do that, you'll be fine."
The jockey thinks the trainer
is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the
first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse
crashes straight through the centre of the jump.
They carry on and approach the
second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the
horse's ear. The same thing happens - the horse crashes straight through the
centre of the jump.
At the
third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it,"
and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse
sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race,
but due to the earlier problems the horse only finished third.
The trainer is fuming and asks
the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me
- it's this bloody horse. What is he - deaf or something?"
The trainer replies,
"Deaf?? DEAF?? He's definitely not deaf - he's BLIND!"
As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.