MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO: NAJIB & ROSMAH'S PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE AGAINST '3 TAN SRIs' BLOW UP IN THEIR OWN FACES

Monkey see, monkey do – is a saying refers to the learning of a process without an understanding of why it works. If you ask former Malaysia Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, he will gladly tell yousuch monkeys do exist in abundance – in the form of UMNO leaders throwing punches in the air in blind support for heavily corrupted PM Najib Razak.

Malaysia is now the best place to visit for tourists wanted to experience first-hand a country which broke the record of U.S. Kleptocracy Asset Recovery Initiative, a tool used to forfeit more than US$1 billion in assets acquired using stolen money from 1MDB. The scandal was so infectious that even some monkeys were reportedly infected by the theft virus.

Some long tailed macaques, apparently, had attacked a postman at a military camp – Terendak Camp – in Malacca, and grabbed some classified documents before fleeing the scene. It appears that the “mischievous” animals know not only how to steal, they know what to steal. Thanks to 1MDB, Malaysian monkeys have been transformed into “monkey see, monkey steal”.

Of course, unless Malaysian police could sweet-talk some suspect monkeys to line-up against a wall for eyewitness identification purpose, not even the U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch or the U.S.-DOJ could do anything to seize assets stolen by these monkeys. Even if they could trace the stolen assets, it’s hard to link them to “Malaysian Monkey 1” (*grin*).

As expected, a police report launched by Deputy UMNO Youth Leader, Khairul Azwan Harun, against the former Governor of Malaysia’s Central Bank Zeti Akhtar Aziz, former Attorney-General of Malaysia Abdul Gani Patail and former Chief Commissioner of the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) Abu Kassim Mohamed, is nothing but “hot air”.

Bloggers and cyber-troopers paid by Prime Minister Najib Razak were nearing orgasm when news broke that junior Khairul has made the police report. They called the move a brilliant pre-emptive strike against the three individuals – Zeti, Gani and Kassim. Gosh! If only they had realized how dumb it was for the “First Family” to send Khairul to the police station.

These cyber-troopers were so panicked and clueless that they couldn’t tell who Najib’s wife is – Hippopotamus or Rosmah Mansor. They didn’t realize that when retired Zeti, Gani and Kassim are to be charged in court, Najib needs to prove that the 3 individuals were conspiring with the Government of the United States to overthrow his government.

Yes, that’s exactly what will happen if the “First Family” allows the case to be argued in the court. It would be a historic case – the Government of Malaysia versus Zeti, Gani, Kassim and the Government of the United States. Armed with popcorn and Coke, Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, Theresa May, Xi Jinping, Joko Widodo and even Kim Jong-un would be glued to TV for the court drama.

Unfortunately, the First Family realized their silly mistake and instructed Inspector-general of Police Khalid Abu Bakar to take care of it. IGP Khalid, frustrated, was forced to clean up the mess by telling all and sundry that police will not investigate the conspiracy report because it was based on an“assumption” or “hearsay”.

However, now the cat is out of the bag, the police cannot simply sweep the report under the carpet and close the case with no further action. Deputy UMNO Youth Leader Khairul Azwan Harun can be investigated under Section 182 of the Penal Code for providing false information to the police, with intent to cause injury or annoyance to another person.

If IGP Khalid chooses to close one eye and sweep the false police report under the carpet, essentially public will be encouraged to make false police report. If Khairul is allowed to walk away scot-free, does that mean anyone can irresponsibly make a police report based on an assumption or hearsay that self-proclaimed First Lady Rosmah Mansor had helped herself to a RM24 million diamond ring?

Now, do you understand why everybody in the room suddenly pretended to check their smartphone and make calls when the First Family demanded a police report be made to punish Zeti, Gani and Kassim? It was the dumbest move to drag the 3 retired individuals to court and force them to accuse the United States of starting a civil war in Malaysia.

If indeed it can be proven that Zeti, Gani and Kassim were conspiring with the Government of the United States, every single UMNO minion would be fighting tooth and nail to be the first to launch police reports. By UMNO’s standard operating procedure, there would be tens of thousands of police reportstoday. But only Mr Khairul is caught with his monkey report.

Here’s the most damaging part. Since top police Khalid has concluded there was no basis to the conspiracy against the democratically-elected Najib government, does this mean Zeti, Gani and Kassim are as clean as a whistle and therefore, the US-DOJ lawsuits against Najib’s stepson Riza Aziz and buddy Jho Low are based on facts, not conspiracies? Gotcha! - http://www.financetwitter.com/