Two
businessmen in Penang were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be-opened
new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One
said to the other, ' I bet any minute now some senior citizen is going to walk
by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'
No
sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior
citizen walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked "what
are you selling here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're
selling assholes."
Without skipping a beat, the
old timer said, "You're doing well. Only two left!"
"Madam, your husband must have absolute
rest."
"Well, Doctor, he won't
listen to me."
"A very good beginning, madam, a very good beginning!"
No matter how bad your last
shot during your round of golf was, the worst is yet to come.
This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since
it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, the
whole year and eventually, a lifetime!
Mr. Rabbit is hopping along the forest one day,
when he comes upon Mr. Bear taking a dump.
Mr. Bear says, "Mr.
Rabbit, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
Mr. Rabbit replies, "No
Mr. Bear, I don't. Why do you ask?"
So, Mr. Bear grabs Mr. Rabbit
and wipes his ass on him!
One
night there were three fugitives who escaped from jail. One was a blonde; one
was a brunette and the other was a red-head. They had the police hot on their
trail and quickly thinking, the brunette points out an old, abandoned factory
perfect to hide in.
When
all three were inside, the red-head, quickly thinking, said they should all
hide in old potatoes sacks in the corner as they could hear the police
approaching the factory. They all got in their little potato sacks and barely a
minute later the police came crashing through the door.
They
looked at the sacks and said 'Hmm maybe they are hiding in these' The officer
kicks the red-head's sack and she makes whimpering noises. 'Hmm just puppies in
that sack' The officer kicks the brunette's sack and she makes mewing noises.
'Hmm just kittens in that sack' he says.
He
finally kicks the blonde's sack and he hears....
'POTATOES,
POTATOES!!!'
Your
best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round
ever.
The probability of the latter increases with the
number of people you inform about the former!
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in
love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating on proposing.
"Do you think she'd marry
me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend.
"Your chances are better," said the
friend, "if you tell her you're 90!"
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip,
and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely woman.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house,
her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to
hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor
and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed
her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes
were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they
were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you
never wore even once because the colour didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn
out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore! Her slacks
were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don’t fit into
anymore.
Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked: ‘Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?’ And so, here we are!”
Moral : Shop with your husband! Never leave home without him!
As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.
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