ET calling Earth

So Earth is a very hostile planet then. You fight wars for all sorts of reasons and you have hundreds of nations that are not at peace with each other and you have an organisation called the United Nations that was set up to prevent wars and all you do is talk about how to prevent wars but you still have wars and kill each other.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

LONDON, Sept 28 - The United Nations has dismissed media reports that it is plans to appoint an ambassador to be the first point of contact with aliens, the BBC reported today.

Britain’s Sunday Times had reported that a UN official had been given the task of coordinating humanity’s response if extraterrestrials (ETs) make contact.

However, Malaysian astrophysicist Datuk Dr Mazlan Othman, said that while she likes the idea of being an alien ambassador, the job does not exist.

It was reported initially two days ago in the British paper’s online edition, www.news.com.au, that Mazlan who heads the UN’s little-known Office for Outer Space Affairs (UNOOSA was to set to describe her new role at a scientific conference at the Royal Society’s Kavli conference centre in Buckinghamshire).

The former Director General of Malaysia’s Space Science Studies Division received her a Bachelor of Science (honours) from University of Otago in 1975.

In November 1999, then United Nations secretary-general Kofi Annan named Mazlan as Director of the United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs (UNOOSA) in Vienna but she returned to Malaysia in July 2002 on the request of Dr Mahathir to serve for five years as the founding Director General of Angkasa, the Malaysian National Space Agency, where her work led to the launch of the first Malaysian astronaut, Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor.

She was reappointed as UNOOSA director in 2007 by Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, and left Angkasa to return to the post that December.

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ET calling Earth! ET calling Earth!

Earth here. Who am I speaking to?

We are ambassadors from the nation called Alfa-Gama. Who am I speaking to?

This is Dr Mazlan Othman speaking.

Are you the leader of the nation called Earth?

No, I am just the United Nation’s ambassador to coordinate responses to ET communications.

Are you authorised to speak on behalf of your nation Earth?

Well, actually we don’t have a nation called Earth. Earth is our planet and we have many nations on Earth, hundreds, in fact.

Hundreds? You mean Earth is not one nation like Alfa-Gama?

No, Earth comprises of many nations. And that is why we have an organisation called the United Nations. And I am representing this organisation called the United Nations.

Oh, I see, and what does your organisation do?

We unite the many nations so that there is peace here on Earth and the hundreds of nations do not go to war with each other.

That makes sense. So that means Earth is a peaceful planet and there are no wars on Earth. That is just the type of planet we are seeking to establish diplomatic relations with.

Well, not exactly. We still have wars. In fact, even as we speak there are wars being fought all over Earth.

Oh, so your organisation, the United Nations, has failed then?

Well, sort of.

So why do you still have an organisation called the United Nations then?

So that we can continue talking on how to prevent wars.

Why not just merge the hundreds of nations into one nation? Would that not be a good way to prevent wars among nations since you have only one nation instead of hundreds of nations?

That may not work?

Why? If you all live on one planet then can’t you all become one nation?

That will not work because even within nations we have wars. This is called civil wars, ethnic wars and religious wars. So, if we can’t live with each other even as a nation how can we unite so many nations into one nation?

Earth is very strange. What are religious wars?

It’s like this. We could be one nation, one race, or one ethnicity, but we are still divided by many religions. So we have wars between religions?

Religion? What is religion?

Religion is…how shall I describe it? Religion is the belief in God.

God? What is God?

God is our creator.

Creator? You mean people on Earth are created, like machines or robots? So Earth people are not living things?

Not quite like that. Earth people are living things. But many of us believe that there is an invisible creator and that we are all created by this creator that no one has ever seen.

And everyone on earth believes this?

Well, almost everyone. The thing is Earth people believe in God in different ways so we fight wars to kill each other because of these differences in how we believe in God.

You all believe in God yet you fight wars because you believe in God in different ways?

That sort of sums it up.

So Earth is a very hostile planet then. You fight wars for all sorts of reasons and you have hundreds of nations that are not at peace with each other and you have an organisation called the United Nations that was set up to prevent wars and all you do is talk about how to prevent wars but you still have wars and kill each other.

I suppose that describes perfectly what Earth is.

I don’t think Alfa-Gama would like to establish diplomatic relations with Earth. Good luck. We might come back in another few thousand years when you have all killed each other off and then we will colonise what is left of your planet.