How to 'halalise' dirty money?

 There is always this tendency to make a pit stop at my regular pork seller’s stall at the wet market at my regular sojourns. If not for picking up meat, I enjoy his witty take on the country's affairs.

But yesterday, the spare ribs were too good to resist. I just felt like picking them up and throwing them in the freezer to be marinated and grilled later when time permitted.

The change for RM100 came in three 20s, a 10, and a few one-ringgit notes which I slipped into my pocket.

Then it was to pick up the much-needed vegetables for which I paid with two RM20 notes and the remaining ringgit notes. Thereafter to the stall selling freshly squeezed santan (coconut milk), for which I paid using the remaining RM10 note.

Having put my purchases in the car, I adjourned to the nearby warung (food stall) for my favourite fix of nasi lemak and coffee for which I paid using the remaining RM20.

Back home, I wondered if I had handed over “tainted” or “dirty” currency to the tudung-clad mak cik who sold me the santan and operator of the warung.

Did I inadvertently give “contaminated” notes? This is because the pork seller gave me the change with his hands after having packed my purchase. The only consolation is that he wiped his hands on his apron before the exchange.

With all the hullabaloo over the handling of alcoholic drinks, especially a suggestion by Pulai MP Suhaizan Kaiat, who wanted to know if the government can introduce vending machines for such drinks.

Equally astounding was Deputy Minister in the Prime Minister's Department (Islamic Affairs) Zulkifli Hasan, who said the government always welcomes fresh ideas that can help address concerns about Muslims having to handle alcoholic beverages at work.

Pray tell me who will load the vending machines and if there are vending machines to fix the perfect Singapore Sling or Sri Lankan Arak with coconut water.

ATM money

Back to the RM100 note which I gave to the pork seller. In all likelihood, he would have banked it into his account.

Like all monies received by the bank, this note is now probably in one of the ATMs somewhere in the country.

Now, do banks in the country have to use sophisticated machinery or chemicals in each of its premises to separate currency notes into halal and non-halal categories?

Or will officers be placed beside machines that accept deposits to query the customer as to the source of money he is depositing?

Would he stop a customer who honestly declared that they were the winnings from the 4-D lottery?

Will there be special machines to “cleanse” any form of contamination in the banking system?

Would they have separate counters to deal with “clean” and “contaminated” money? Would seats in banking halls be segregated?

Former law minister Zaid Ibrahim, responding to Suhaizan's proposal, noted: “By extension, no Malay drivers should be allowed to drive any vehicles carrying beer bottles.”

In a post on X, he said: “No Malay customs officers should be allowed to inspect beer consignments and impose duties. Lastly, the Finance Ministry needs to employ more non-Muslims quickly as many business and commercial activities in the country are not halal-type.”

Muslim sensitivities

In 2018, I wrote: “When I started writing for Malaysiakini, I made a concerted effort to stay away from two contentious topics - race and religion. Not anymore. Being pushed to the wall by idiotic and foolhardy individuals, it is time to break the self-imposed restriction.

“Few want to impose their moral standards and values on the rest of Malaysians. We have to stand up and say it as it is.”

Even before that, when the ominous signs of “sensitivities of Muslims” surfaced in 2015, I wasted no time admonishing the carrot-brained idiots for their stupidity.

Then came the episode of different cups for different religions. I chided the Education Ministry for its silence in doing nothing to prevent the segregation of drinking cups placed beside a water dispenser by labelling them “murid Islam” and “bukan Islam”.

So many came thereafter - hot dogs, Timah whisky, and mother of all - certain quarters decreeing that it is forbidden for Muslims to wish someone Merry Christmas.

When will this insanity stop?

In 2015, the Perlis mufti Mohd Asri Zainal Abidin asked a touching, important, and justified question that transcends all boundaries of religion: “Can the less intelligent be given important posts such as that of a minister and the like?”

By extension, this should be asked of our lawmakers. - Mkini

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R NADESWARAN is a veteran journalist who writes on bread-and-butter issues. Comments: citizen.nades22@gmail.com.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.