A cocky
State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer.
He told
the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."
The old
farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field."
The
Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to
go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on
farmland."
So, the old farmer went about his farm chores.
Later, he heard loud screams
and saw the State Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was
the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and
the bull was gaining on the employee at every step!!
The old farmer called out,
"Show him your card!!"
What do
walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They
both like a tight seal!
A lady
went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.
He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if
it's true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed.
The cowboy grinned and said,
"Sure is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let
me prove it to you?"
The woman wanted to find out
for herself, so she spent the night with him.
The
next morning, she handed him two RM100 bills.
Blushing,
he said, "Well, thank you, ma'am. I'm really flattered. Nobody ever paid
me for my services before."
"Don't
be flattered. Take this money and buy yourself some boots that fit!"
A boss
was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any
respect.
Later
that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read,
"I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he
found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife
called; she wants her signage back!"
Which
bird has the worst manners?
Mocking
birds!
A
three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, 'There were 2 boy kittens
and 2 girl kittens.'
'How
did you know?' his mother asked. 'Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,' he
replied. 'I think it's printed on the bottom.'
A
mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away
the groceries.
The boy
opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. 'What are
you doing?' his mother asked.
'The
box says not to eat them if the seal is broken' the boy explained. 'I'm looking
for the seal!'
How do
you fix a broken gourd?
With a
pumpkin patch!
It's wise to remember how easily email can be
misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the
Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in
Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the
next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her
address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly
preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the
grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a
piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed
into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest
Wife, Just got checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow!
P.S. Is surely hot down here!
As usual, we remind you to take Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.
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