I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So, I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!"
So, I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
End of the story!!!
If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used!
It goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet.
What is it?
A bubblegum!
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
I want you inside me!
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have five fingers;
The middle one's for you!
You should do some soul-searching.
Maybe you'll find one!
Go ahead, tell them everything you know.
It'll only take 10 seconds!
A man went to the All-Stars game with two front row seat tickets. He sat down and then another man asked him if the other chair was taken.
The man said " no, it was supposed to be for my wife."
The other man asked " well, where is she?
And he said "she died two days ago" from a stroke.
The other man said "well that's very unfortunate, I'm so sorry for you. But shouldn't you give this seat to another family members?"
And the man said, "no they're all at the funeral!"
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