UMNO's problem

I've been away in a dark dark continent, without Internet access, looking for a cure for Ebola and also, as a humanitarian gesture, a remedy for Monsterball's long suffering erectile dysfunction, known to us colloquially as his Hatyai Hardluck Hangdown, wakakaka.

monsterball
perennial perpetual powerless problem

I returned to see the usual brouhaha following the recent UMNO AGM, wakakaka. Here's the real reason or reasons for UMNO's feral behaviour:

Yo I'm the PM!
Hello there, anyone listening? Dad?

Dad wants me to be be PM
I'm like Ah Jib Gor, reluctantly thrust into politics by our fathers' legacies
I want my Mummy

I want to be PM
And like Mahathir I am going to thrust myself into it and not wait for fate or legacy to do so for me

Hey man, I have the pedigree, legacy and the MOUTH to be PM

I will be PM, Mahathir notwithstanding
The other candidates just don't have my wiliness, intellectual capacity and most important of all, my looks

But what about me? After all I was once PM
Eh? Okay then, acting PM
What? Acting PM just like Ling Liong Sik? F* you!
I have the intellect, know-how, looks, charm, glib-tongue etc especially the 'etc'  to be PM, except currently the right 'connection', UMNO connection that is
I may not be UMNO now but where there's a will there'll be a way

Aiyoyo, it seems that UMNO, once headed by luminaries such as Tunku, Razak, Hussein, Mahathir and a political party respected by many both at home and abroad, is currently suffering from the same erectile dysfunction that Monsterball is subjected to.

It explains why UMNO is as hysterically feral as Monsterball has been, wakakaka.