Parents in the ‘basikal lajak’ case are also victims

There is a lot of anguish of late about the case of a woman in Johor who was in an accident a few years ago with eight teenagers on modified bicycles. The teenagers did not survive.

If a person drives recklessly, that person is guilty, regardless of whether those injured or killed should or shouldn’t be on the road, or overaged or underaged, or were themselves doing illegal things.

These considerations should only come in at the mitigation stage.

If the person is not guilty of driving recklessly, however, then the number of people affected, injured or killed is not relevant to the guilt or otherwise of that person.

I’ll let our legal system see that this matter, especially what constitutes “reckless driving”, is given proper and just treatment, and to make the right, fair call based on only the law and the evidence.

I’ll say no more about this aspect of the story, but have more to say about other aspects.

The abuse I’ve seen directed against the parents of the dead teens is horrific. Regardless of their guilt or culpability, they’ve lost their children, and there’s nothing on earth as sad as parents having to bury their children.

Don’t savage the parents

The vicious reactions reflect more on the writers and the posters themselves – of some level of cold ruthlessness that I can’t comprehend. I pity the parents who have to go through this, and wouldn’t wish that on anybody.

If indeed there are laws that hold such parents accountable, then they should be applied, again without fear or favour. As a parent myself, I know we often take the credit when our kids do well, but we don’t always accept the responsibility when they don’t.

For the rest of us, who are not in the actual crucible of sorrow, a little bit of kindness and compassion would be welcome. We can hold strong but rational opinions about them without having to savage them publicly during times of their sadness and loss.

Now a look at the wider perspectives on the matter.

Your father’s road, izzit?

It seems our public roads are being treated by some as if the roads are “their father’s roads”. I’m of course talking about the “basikal lajak” youths, but this could also apply to those in government limos with police escorts; some of these really do believe they are on their father’s roads.

We will always find youths at the edge of society whose testosterone-fuelled risk appetites go beyond the pale. However, this problem today is not to be found on the fringe but rather at the core of our society, a reflection of a deeper cultural malaise that has no quick or easy cure.

Youths, as is wont with all creatures early in their lives, have so much excess energy. A well-functioning society would provide many conduits and escape valves to channel this energy, whether intellectual, physical or emotional, to safer and more productive endeavours.

Well-adjusted young teens would be in school, challenged enough intellectually to want to remain there, have other interests such as sports or social services, and have curiosity that makes them want to be part of the world at large.

Mixed signals for mixed-up youth

Most importantly, they’d be looking to the future with hope. They’d be getting signals they are loved and cherished, and they’d see tangible proof of these, such as investment of time, money or energy into their well-being and future.

They wouldn’t be getting signals that they are the best, greatest, smartest and most special, while also being simultaneously told they are easily confused and in perpetual need of protection.

They wouldn’t be hearing that they were put on earth to listen and obey, and not be too smart or too “pandai-pandai” for their own good. That they should be thankful for whatever crumbs that come their way, and not ask any questions about the loaves that didn’t.

And they wouldn’t be hearing that they don’t have to exercise care and responsibility or to accept accountability, and that when things go wrong, it’s all God’s will anyway.

These strictures are all very confusing to the young, having been brought up as entitled kids to whom society owes a living, while constantly being put down and told not to rise above their station in life, to do only as they are told, and to be fearful of everything.

Continuing a vicious cycle

They either don’t see anything positive waiting for them in the future, or they see huge and scary challenges for which they haven’t been prepared by their parents and society.

Their parents, having been through that same brainwashing regime, are similarly victims of this continuing crime against our young.

Tragedies strike that make us wonder whether life has any value at all, such as the increasing number who die on the road through crazy stunts, or the scores who die in burning religious school hostels; we’re told not to question God’s will, while those actually responsible, whether directly or indirectly, get away scot-free, and even get to boast about it.

So the vicious cycle continues, with no sign or admission that something is wrong with our society, and convenient scapegoats always being found, allowing us to ignore the elephant in the room. Our proclivity to blame others has now been hard-baked into our collective psyche.

How our leaders will deal with it

Whatever you see or hear, you won’t see or hear our political, social or religious leaders describing these self-destructive social behaviours as signs of a deeper ailment in our society. Their solution to these huge and seemingly intractable problems is either to ignore it or to deflect it.

It is much easier to drug the people with fights about rights. It’s much harder to fight for something even more difficult – to accept responsibility. Nobody in our country has become rich and powerful fighting for responsibilities. It’s tough and important, but not at all glamorous or rewarding.

The lives of those unfortunate cannon fodder of today’s politics, who live in the high-rise public housing ghettoes or far away in the Felda villages, remain cheap, and seemingly disposable. The Hobbesian expression “nasty, brutish and short” applies to many of such lives.

We should be angry and appalled that there are so many wasted lives in our land of plenty, that these tragedies seem to be on the rise rather than in decline, and that our leaders are not acknowledging this, and may even be indirectly complicit in it.

But spare the personal attacks and invective against the actual parents who are also victims, as much as their own dead children. Let the law deal with them, if it so chooses.

Intellectually we know what are the causes and who the guilty ones are, and we should strive to change the system that allows this to happen, but that aside, compassion must be shown to those who are actually shedding the tears. - FMT

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.