Water ways, corruption and quotas – a wild week of news

 

Good news! Penang will have ferries again! I really miss the old ferries. “Ferry (name of ferry here…) bersedia?” asks the ferry dispatcher over the loudspeaker. “PONNNN…!” goes a huge affirmative from the said ferry’s horn. “Ferry (insert name here) boleh bertolak sekarang…”

And off we used to go, on a journey of mere minutes but one still special even for those who did it every day. Tomorrow when you’re stuck on the Federal Highway during rush hour, think of Penangites serenely on their commute with the sea breeze blowing in their faces.

Personally, I can’t wait to take the new ferries. In the best of Penang tradition, I will do it in the one month when it’s free!

Murky water, murky logic

From the ferry pier, you can go to Kedah, where much of Penang’s water comes from. While Kedah is rich in water, it’s not rich in political logic, and any that flows from it, much like its water, is murky and often downright toxic.

Kedah’s menteri besar (literally the Big Minister!) has been taking potshots at Penang for years, generally working hard to stir tensions, especially when elections are near.

Case in point: his recent claim that non-Malays are the biggest bribe-givers in the country.

This clearly paints “Nons” as being guilty of paying bribes, and yet some people don’t see the other side – the bribe-taking – as an equal crime, or even a sin. They’ll happily lop off the hands of somebody stealing from a supermarket, but when it comes to accepting bribes? Crickets.

Exceeding the quota

There should be a quota to restrict Nons from giving more bribes than they’re entitled to. There must be something in the Constitution about this. I hope Dr Mahathir includes it in his next press conference, entitled “The Malaysian constitution that you thought you knew…”.

Meanwhile, to all my non-Malay friends, please don’t offer me bribes. You’ve exceeded your bribe-giving quota. Go and give bribes in Singapore or Australia or New Zealand or the US, whose constitutions are silent about bribe-giving. And good luck!

My parents told me the giving and taking of bribes was wrong, but what do they know about the Constitution or religions or politics? I’m just happy the one month of free rides the government is giving on the Penang ferry doesn’t count as a bribe.

Breaking the habit

Education quotas have also come up in the news recently. Given that I was a beneficiary of such a quota myself, I guess some may expect me to defend it. But while I benefited from it, none of my kids did. Their education was either paid by me, or through foreign scholarships or grants.

It appears that the kids who are already working don’t have time for this debate, while those still studying are buried too deeply in their books to bother.

Education quotas are meant to level the playing field in the short-term but soon end up becoming like a drug – highly addictive. A privilege, which was how it started, comes to be seen as a right and, like receiving bribes, something that must be rationalised and defended.

As in the case of actual drug addiction, we Malays are also overperforming quota-wise too. Let’s hope the quota obsession dies a slow, natural death. It’s a scary idea, but it’s difficult for self-respect to coexist with quotas. It just is.

To those who can afford it, educating your children through your own hard-earned money (assuming it didn’t come from bribes) is pretty satisfying, looking back from one’s old age. Try it, it won’t kill you.

Poster boy’s gaffe

Meanwhile, our communications and digital minister recently admitted that an infographic (is that what they call posters now?) produced by his ministry may not have effectively made its point about how households can best manage the cost-of-living crisis.

While I won’t comment about the effectiveness of said infographics, I will be lodging a complaint on behalf of the health ministry. Of all the affordable food items listed – chicken, eggs, bread – there wasn’t a single vegetable!

This is quickly becoming a new phenomenon: try visiting a mamak restaurant and see how people order mounds of rice with only a piece of fried chicken to go with it. It can’t be healthy.

The minister called the infographic “tone-deaf” but maintained it was accurate. But how can it be accurate if it doesn’t include vegetables, salt, curry powder, chili, herbs and other things that make Malaysian cuisine so special?

Sorry, this was not just tone-deaf. If anything, it was gut-wrenching, stomach-churning and constipation-inducing. I would have liked to see the writers of the infographics try to survive on that diet.

More hot news

The first Monday of July was the hottest day in human history, and it has been confirmed that the first week of the month was the hottest ever, too. It’s looking like subsequent weeks will break even more records.

I really beg our politicians to not worsen climate change with their wasted breath, talking about education quotas or bribes or eating fried chicken, or parts of the constitution that nobody knows about. - FMT

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.