Women's Day: Thank you, but no thank you

 

A few days ago, in conjunction with International Women’s Day, an assemblyperson in Sibu, Sarawak distributed cooking oil as a “gift of love” to all the women in his constituency.

With the special gift, the assemblyperson wished to celebrate and honour women’s achievements at all levels.

I was so touched upon reading the news. What a wonderful way to recognise women’s contribution to society!

After all, what can women do without cooking oil, right? From a humble omelette to a fancy briyani kambing, everything needs cooking oil - especially in the kitchen!

For generations, the kitchen has been made to be the empire of a woman. A woman is expected to rule her kingdom from a kitchen, taking care of her home, her children and her man.

She is expected to make delicious food, clean and scrub; launder clothing and linens - and all over again, every single day - until the day she dies.

Cooking, cleaning and scrubbing is literally what a woman is made for! From our great-grandmothers to our daughters and granddaughters, being in the kitchen makes our life worth living.

That’s why we enjoy spending long hours in the kitchen - because it is our magic place.

And that is also why the gift of cooking oil was so meaningful - because it puts us where we belong. In the kitchen.

Perhaps next year, the assemblyperson would consider distributing a brush, a mop and a bottle of floor cleaner as his “gift of love.” I am sure that will make him the most thoughtful politician in the country.

Roses and pink cupcakes

Unlike those women in Sibu, I did not receive any cooking oil on International Women’s Day. What a bummer - I know!

However, I did attend a gathering promising to celebrate women and all our contributions and was invited to watch a monologue recital featuring an actor in a flowy dress, pretending to be a pregnant woman, speaking to her unborn child.

Aiseyman, what an amazing way to celebrate women!

I must say, the monologue served as a reminder of how motherhood defines a woman, and despite all our accomplishments in life, we are destined to be babymakers - and those who refuse motherhood, are everything but perfect, complete, wholesome women.

I was so impressed by the performance that I made an effort to find out who was the person in charge of selecting that particular monologue as part of the Women’s Day celebration.

I admit, I wasn’t too shocked when I found out that it was another woman. Brilliant!

What a poignant way to inspire women to listen to their biological clock and become a baby-making machine. She truly deserves an award.

Seriously, the beginnings of International Women’s Day might have been revolutionary, but this eye-opening, watered-down version isn’t too bad either - especially when women are celebrated with roses and pink cupcakes that melt in our mouths. Yum.

Of course, nothing about cooking oil, pink cupcakes and roses tells us about women’s struggles and successes - but come on, at least we get something free, right?

And that is all we need to feel empowered, right?

No.

Meaningless greetings and celebrations

Over the weekend, as I was scheming through loads of women’s day greetings, posters and GIFs which I had received, I found a few similar ones which caught my eye.

“Happy Women’s Day! Today, we celebrate your strength, resilience, and the countless ways in which you contribute to our society!

“This is a special day to recognise and honour your achievements, both big and small and to express our gratitude for the positive impact you have on our lives.

“May you continue to shine brightly, break barriers, and empower others with your presence. You are remarkable!”

The messages had been forwarded plenty of times and made their way multiple times around the same circle of friends.

Reading those well-written messages, I honestly felt nothing. The words, despite sounding nice, weren’t genuine. They were meaningless. This is the biggest issue I have with the International Women’s Day celebration. It has lost its meaning.

No one who celebrates women on this special day could even care to spare a minute or two to write a heartfelt, sincere greeting for the most important women in their lives.

Instead, a GIF created by a stranger is selected to be sent to mothers, daughters and best friends before being forwarded to every single person with a vagina on the contact list.

To friends who participated in the recent International Women’s Day forwarding marathon, I wish to say thank you - but no thank you.

I hope that one day, we will be able to retire on International Women’s Day for good. After all, if this is how we celebrate the contribution of women in our society - with cooking oil, pink cupcakes, roses, and meaningless GIFs - we should wonder why we ever needed it at all. - Mkini

---

FA ABDUL is a multi-award-winning playwright and director in the local performing arts scene, a published author, television scriptwriter, media trainer, and mother. Her ultimate mission in life is to live out of a small suitcase.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.