A WEEK IN THE MALAYSIAN HELL
I was happy that the time has come and I’m gonna go back to Malaysia. Malaysia the place that I always loved and considered it as home and a place that I belong. My relationship, my future life and career were the main things I’m going for. As my flight was on the 4th of december 2013, I was going to spend few days of holidays there and also I managed to get some good job interviews set for the 9th of december onwards so that i will consider settling down if i get a sponsor to support my visa for work. Work outfits, new clothes all bought by my supportive family to get me ready for the new challenge. I have been blessed and sent to the airport to catch my flight. What a hard time it was while saying goodbye, but for my future and the things I’m looking forward to in malaysia, I managed to hold my tears and act strong.
Amazing flight it was!! Tiring but I didn’t feel tired because I can’t wait to see her and the people that love me and to start a life there. Job plans,vacation plans,settling down plans, football plans etc.. 5th of december, at 10.45pm I reached KL and everything transformed to a nightmare. Everything vanished once I reached the immigration counter. I’ve been asked to follow an officer to a different office. I sat for a bit waiting while he was doing his job investigating something about me. He came to me apologizing and saying” sorry sir you can’t enter the country” “you are blacklisted and ur name is not cleared from our system since 2012″. i didnt know about all this. its not writing in my passport that its 5 years that i cant enter Malaysia. and whatever i did wasnt bad to get this long duration.I was stunned and didn’t know what to do or to say. I only managed to whatsapp the info to some friends that I trust they can help.everything after that went very fast.I’ve been asked to follow the officer who has my passport in his hand so that he will arrange my ticket to be deported.
My issue was that in 2012, I overstayed for less than a month due to some careless reasons not to be fully blamed by the college stuff but me as well.but everything was setteled back then and the college beared the fees for a special pass for me to leave immediately. I got my ticket that same day and I left. Without any issues. I had no idea that these matters will affect my entry again especially after spending a year after that in the UK.
The officer took me to a hall which has two rooms, one is for foreign workers( sleeping all over the ground waiting for something I don’t know yet) and another smaller hall separated into two rooms. One for men and the other is for the ladies. I entered the office there and everything is glass, what I mean is that from the office u can see the men place u can see the girls place. Everyone can see everyone. I’ve been asked few questions and straight asked to put my hand bag with the others handbags. They wanted to took my phone but I begged to let me call some friends for help first. The lady allowed me for two minutes no more. How to do it? I have no simcard, and there is no internet in that place. I was stuck month way out nobody wanna help in that office. Instead, the officer and the lady officer were laughing at me saying ” why you need internet? Its bad for health” its so hurtful, no humanity. In most cases I would have fought but that Day I couldn’t as its not in my favour to do so. I just replied him slowly please help me instead of laughing at me. He replied ” oh you think I’m funny now? I show u serious? Put ur phone there and fuck off with the other animals” shouted loud at me. More words he said in malay I couldn’t understand but I know its bad stuff about me. I lived for 4 years in malaysia after all so I know a bit of angry expressions. He took my phone away and threw it in a basked full of phones, took my bag and took me to the next door where there were a bunch of people looking at me all at once.they closed the door and left me in a very dirty place. With a mixture of bad people, innocent people, kids, ladies, prostitutes etc..
I was shocked and I didn’t know what’s next. I’m in a prison. What’s their plans? Nobody to talk to to explain to me. All rude and not helpful. Phones not allowed so that there will be no recording or photos. No shower, dirty toilets, no drinking water, no food, no place to sleep, just a plain floor where every group is dominating an area of it. Sometimes it was cold, and sometimes it becomes very hot. They even took my watch from me because the officer liked it. He asked me to put it in the basket but then he wore it and said”cantik” ” you boy no need time” ” you will be here for a while”. Nothing I can do, I can’t fight because I had hope that things could be fixed from the outside. I kept all the hate and frustration inside. I sat in a corner with a bunch of syrians and palestinians, uzbekistanis and somalians that invited me. All asking me for my story and saying you have nothing serious and nothing to worry about. They had the worst cases. Some had no passports at all, some were refugees, some with fake visas etc.. I don’t know how long I’m gonna be there. I only managed to stay calm for few hours after that I went straight to that desk again asking for updates. Nobody is listening. They hear me but no response for a while. It kills me. He stood up, push me and close the glass door after me saying “sit until I call you” this is my place so my rules” . It killed me softly really especially seeing him getting back to him chair and started playing with his electronic flying helicopter, flying it in that office like a child. I tried to sleep by the door in front of him so that he can see me and maybe pity me. Well, it was a bad choice, he came to me, took me from my hoody and put me in the corridor leading to the toilets and forced me to sleep there. I couldn’t take it, I shouted at him and looked fierce to his eyes waiting for him to touch me and I woud react. He grabbed my arm and tried to hit my leg so that I will fall but I reacted fast and I pushed him to the glass door. He couldn’t take it and he raised his hands on me three times.
That was very hurtful, I sat and cried like never before, wishing I could meet tht guy outside one day I will cut him to pieces. I had no choice and he had his power and back up people. I cried for hours until I felt very exhausted. Took out my hoodie and make it as a pillow and close my nose with a part of it to not get the toilet smell.I managed to sleep for few hours no matter what the situation. Tired of crying and the stress they caused , tired of the trip , tired of everything.I opened my eyes I found that the place is very crowded. So many new faces again. Morning has come, no news from inside nor from the outside. I’m feeling hungry and thirsty. After few hours, a cop brought food, lots of take away boxes of rice. Everyone stood up and fighting to take first. I stood up as well trying to fight for some food but I couldn’t get anything.all taken by whoever came first. Few more left weren’t free. 15RM a pack of nasi goreng and 5RM for a small bottle of water. More expensive than Paris. As I was very hungry I decided to buy it. I didn’t have ringgits because I didn’t change yet. And he didn’t accept my USD. He said no RM no food. I didn’t eat the whole day. I only drink from the toilet whenever I feel stomach pain.here I am, one day at that locker without food, weak, hurt and tired. Worried about how many days I will stay there. Scared it will be months as many of them have been staying. Worried about my family that didn’t hear from me at all. I promised to call them once I reach. Nobody knows what’s happening inside.Well the whole place was full of animals and sins.
Thanks to some refugees, I got a piece of chocolate bread to eat. Better than nothing at that moment. I joined them after that and stayed part of them. They offered me a place to sleep next to them. We slept one close to another as a husband with his wife. So many people, bad smells, bed bugs and cockroaches everywhere. You will never believe it was malaysia and whatever they show in tv.I couldt sleep. My mind is just thinking of the outside. When is someone coming to rescue me. Everytime someone enters the office or the phone rings I stand up with some hope. But nothing happened. Nothing changed. I asked everyone for a phone if they have so that I can call the outside and a get a lawyer or something but no clue. No phones allowed at all but some people told me that there will be a cleaner who comes at night, they give him money for using his phone. 20RM he charges per minute. I felt a bit alive again because I can do that. The only problem was that I can’t remember any of my friends malaysian phone numbers. I lucking had a business card in my wallet of a friend that visited me in the UK. The cleaner came, cleared everyone from the toilet, send them to the corridor so that he will make one by one enter and call slowly. He stands at the toilet entrance(there was no door) and act like he is cleaning while the guy is talking on the phone inside. Simple maths that cleaner earns aat least 600RM in that short period of the day. There comes my turn, he asked me for money first, I showed him 5USD and told him that’s all I had. Other notes are all 100USD notes.. Too much for a phone call that I’m not sure if it will work or not. He didn’t want to give me the phone but since nobody was looking and only me and him in the toilet, I grabbed him from his neck and took his phone by force, he was worried and he returned to his acting and left the phone for me to call. I made my call and put the 5USD in his pocket before leaving. Its not that I wanted to give him or I pitied him but I gave him to clear up everything in case I need him the next day. I gave him and apologised to that corrupted bastard.I left the toilet a bit relived as things might change this time as I passed the message and explain a bit about the situation to someone I trust he will do his best to help me.but time has passed and my hope kept on diminishing. Nthing is changing. Nobody came. I knew back then that its not that my friend didn’t come or didn’t do anything but they surely tried their best and couldn’t overcome that corrupted system. That bunch of criminals. They were too strong to break and too difficult to even reach to them. They even put this area far away from the view of other visitors. Like a big wall separating the two sides of the airport. I only found humanity and big hearts in the people who had nothing. Who had more problems than me. They offered me food and water for free as they’ve been there for months and they know few cops there.
Things went until saturday the 7th of december. It was afternoon and I was sleeping. They shout my name and I woke up shocked to hear it. The officer told me that your flight back to your country is in 30min and I have to pay 1100USD for that. I went back to my place sit down and found no other choice but to pay and leave that shit hole place no matter how much it costs me. I have 1600 I gave 1100.. I paid it, back to my little space and started crying again for this luck I have. My new friend talk to him and hug me and they are happy for me I’m leaving no matter how much I paid. Many are there because they can’t afford a ticket. They wrote me their skypes and facebooks to keep in touch. We met for a day or two but they got my back. The cried seeing me leave.
At the desk they give me back my phone and my hand luggage. No sign of my “guess” watch and a 30kg bag of new, expensive and beautiful clothes that my dad bought for me, shoes and kitchen stuff mom put for me and so many valuable things to me. I will never forget that bitter feeling I will never forgive them. I’m now writing from the plane back to my country, full of sadness and disappointment, still crying from now and then when I remember something. It has been hard. The hardest an educated human being from a good family can experience. Thanks for few minutes of chats with her through the phone. I got back some faith and some hope in my life. They pity me on board of the plane as I told them my story since they asked why I’m followed by cops until the plane and have no right to take my passport until I reach my final destination.they made me sit at the back of the plane next to the crew.I hate hating malaysia but that’s what inside of me. Malaysia you hurt me so deep inside. Mentally, physically and financially. These are just some highlights of my horrible 3 days in malaysia that I’m trying to share..its different when you live every minute of it .. many things happened but not for me were really horrible as well.
Only the malaysians that I know are the ones that I love in that country and I thank everyone who thought of me and spend all the time at the airport trying to help me. Big thanks to you all. Love you
My issue was that in 2012, I overstayed for less than a month due to some careless reasons not to be fully blamed by the college stuff but me as well.but everything was setteled back then and the college beared the fees for a special pass for me to leave immediately. I got my ticket that same day and I left. Without any issues. I had no idea that these matters will affect my entry again especially after spending a year after that in the UK.
The officer took me to a hall which has two rooms, one is for foreign workers( sleeping all over the ground waiting for something I don’t know yet) and another smaller hall separated into two rooms. One for men and the other is for the ladies. I entered the office there and everything is glass, what I mean is that from the office u can see the men place u can see the girls place. Everyone can see everyone. I’ve been asked few questions and straight asked to put my hand bag with the others handbags. They wanted to took my phone but I begged to let me call some friends for help first. The lady allowed me for two minutes no more. How to do it? I have no simcard, and there is no internet in that place. I was stuck month way out nobody wanna help in that office. Instead, the officer and the lady officer were laughing at me saying ” why you need internet? Its bad for health” its so hurtful, no humanity. In most cases I would have fought but that Day I couldn’t as its not in my favour to do so. I just replied him slowly please help me instead of laughing at me. He replied ” oh you think I’m funny now? I show u serious? Put ur phone there and fuck off with the other animals” shouted loud at me. More words he said in malay I couldn’t understand but I know its bad stuff about me. I lived for 4 years in malaysia after all so I know a bit of angry expressions. He took my phone away and threw it in a basked full of phones, took my bag and took me to the next door where there were a bunch of people looking at me all at once.they closed the door and left me in a very dirty place. With a mixture of bad people, innocent people, kids, ladies, prostitutes etc..
I was shocked and I didn’t know what’s next. I’m in a prison. What’s their plans? Nobody to talk to to explain to me. All rude and not helpful. Phones not allowed so that there will be no recording or photos. No shower, dirty toilets, no drinking water, no food, no place to sleep, just a plain floor where every group is dominating an area of it. Sometimes it was cold, and sometimes it becomes very hot. They even took my watch from me because the officer liked it. He asked me to put it in the basket but then he wore it and said”cantik” ” you boy no need time” ” you will be here for a while”. Nothing I can do, I can’t fight because I had hope that things could be fixed from the outside. I kept all the hate and frustration inside. I sat in a corner with a bunch of syrians and palestinians, uzbekistanis and somalians that invited me. All asking me for my story and saying you have nothing serious and nothing to worry about. They had the worst cases. Some had no passports at all, some were refugees, some with fake visas etc.. I don’t know how long I’m gonna be there. I only managed to stay calm for few hours after that I went straight to that desk again asking for updates. Nobody is listening. They hear me but no response for a while. It kills me. He stood up, push me and close the glass door after me saying “sit until I call you” this is my place so my rules” . It killed me softly really especially seeing him getting back to him chair and started playing with his electronic flying helicopter, flying it in that office like a child. I tried to sleep by the door in front of him so that he can see me and maybe pity me. Well, it was a bad choice, he came to me, took me from my hoody and put me in the corridor leading to the toilets and forced me to sleep there. I couldn’t take it, I shouted at him and looked fierce to his eyes waiting for him to touch me and I woud react. He grabbed my arm and tried to hit my leg so that I will fall but I reacted fast and I pushed him to the glass door. He couldn’t take it and he raised his hands on me three times.
That was very hurtful, I sat and cried like never before, wishing I could meet tht guy outside one day I will cut him to pieces. I had no choice and he had his power and back up people. I cried for hours until I felt very exhausted. Took out my hoodie and make it as a pillow and close my nose with a part of it to not get the toilet smell.I managed to sleep for few hours no matter what the situation. Tired of crying and the stress they caused , tired of the trip , tired of everything.I opened my eyes I found that the place is very crowded. So many new faces again. Morning has come, no news from inside nor from the outside. I’m feeling hungry and thirsty. After few hours, a cop brought food, lots of take away boxes of rice. Everyone stood up and fighting to take first. I stood up as well trying to fight for some food but I couldn’t get anything.all taken by whoever came first. Few more left weren’t free. 15RM a pack of nasi goreng and 5RM for a small bottle of water. More expensive than Paris. As I was very hungry I decided to buy it. I didn’t have ringgits because I didn’t change yet. And he didn’t accept my USD. He said no RM no food. I didn’t eat the whole day. I only drink from the toilet whenever I feel stomach pain.here I am, one day at that locker without food, weak, hurt and tired. Worried about how many days I will stay there. Scared it will be months as many of them have been staying. Worried about my family that didn’t hear from me at all. I promised to call them once I reach. Nobody knows what’s happening inside.Well the whole place was full of animals and sins.
Thanks to some refugees, I got a piece of chocolate bread to eat. Better than nothing at that moment. I joined them after that and stayed part of them. They offered me a place to sleep next to them. We slept one close to another as a husband with his wife. So many people, bad smells, bed bugs and cockroaches everywhere. You will never believe it was malaysia and whatever they show in tv.I couldt sleep. My mind is just thinking of the outside. When is someone coming to rescue me. Everytime someone enters the office or the phone rings I stand up with some hope. But nothing happened. Nothing changed. I asked everyone for a phone if they have so that I can call the outside and a get a lawyer or something but no clue. No phones allowed at all but some people told me that there will be a cleaner who comes at night, they give him money for using his phone. 20RM he charges per minute. I felt a bit alive again because I can do that. The only problem was that I can’t remember any of my friends malaysian phone numbers. I lucking had a business card in my wallet of a friend that visited me in the UK. The cleaner came, cleared everyone from the toilet, send them to the corridor so that he will make one by one enter and call slowly. He stands at the toilet entrance(there was no door) and act like he is cleaning while the guy is talking on the phone inside. Simple maths that cleaner earns aat least 600RM in that short period of the day. There comes my turn, he asked me for money first, I showed him 5USD and told him that’s all I had. Other notes are all 100USD notes.. Too much for a phone call that I’m not sure if it will work or not. He didn’t want to give me the phone but since nobody was looking and only me and him in the toilet, I grabbed him from his neck and took his phone by force, he was worried and he returned to his acting and left the phone for me to call. I made my call and put the 5USD in his pocket before leaving. Its not that I wanted to give him or I pitied him but I gave him to clear up everything in case I need him the next day. I gave him and apologised to that corrupted bastard.I left the toilet a bit relived as things might change this time as I passed the message and explain a bit about the situation to someone I trust he will do his best to help me.but time has passed and my hope kept on diminishing. Nthing is changing. Nobody came. I knew back then that its not that my friend didn’t come or didn’t do anything but they surely tried their best and couldn’t overcome that corrupted system. That bunch of criminals. They were too strong to break and too difficult to even reach to them. They even put this area far away from the view of other visitors. Like a big wall separating the two sides of the airport. I only found humanity and big hearts in the people who had nothing. Who had more problems than me. They offered me food and water for free as they’ve been there for months and they know few cops there.
Things went until saturday the 7th of december. It was afternoon and I was sleeping. They shout my name and I woke up shocked to hear it. The officer told me that your flight back to your country is in 30min and I have to pay 1100USD for that. I went back to my place sit down and found no other choice but to pay and leave that shit hole place no matter how much it costs me. I have 1600 I gave 1100.. I paid it, back to my little space and started crying again for this luck I have. My new friend talk to him and hug me and they are happy for me I’m leaving no matter how much I paid. Many are there because they can’t afford a ticket. They wrote me their skypes and facebooks to keep in touch. We met for a day or two but they got my back. The cried seeing me leave.
At the desk they give me back my phone and my hand luggage. No sign of my “guess” watch and a 30kg bag of new, expensive and beautiful clothes that my dad bought for me, shoes and kitchen stuff mom put for me and so many valuable things to me. I will never forget that bitter feeling I will never forgive them. I’m now writing from the plane back to my country, full of sadness and disappointment, still crying from now and then when I remember something. It has been hard. The hardest an educated human being from a good family can experience. Thanks for few minutes of chats with her through the phone. I got back some faith and some hope in my life. They pity me on board of the plane as I told them my story since they asked why I’m followed by cops until the plane and have no right to take my passport until I reach my final destination.they made me sit at the back of the plane next to the crew.I hate hating malaysia but that’s what inside of me. Malaysia you hurt me so deep inside. Mentally, physically and financially. These are just some highlights of my horrible 3 days in malaysia that I’m trying to share..its different when you live every minute of it .. many things happened but not for me were really horrible as well.
Only the malaysians that I know are the ones that I love in that country and I thank everyone who thought of me and spend all the time at the airport trying to help me. Big thanks to you all. Love you
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