Cincalok brains on the road

Malaysian roads are a virtual battlefield and scrambling for an empty parking spot can leave even the most patient among us cursing under our breaths.

COMMENT

Last weekend, I had a sudden craving for apam balik. So I drove to a night market not far from home, parked my car and got myself a huge slice of golden, crispy apams. As I walked back to my car, I found it was blocked by a BMW. I waited for a good 15 minutes before a young man in his early 30s ran towards me, waving his hand.

“What a cincalok brain,” I thought. “Drive big car but so stupid. He thinks waving his hand can make up for my lost 15 minutes izzit?” I grumbled.

Hiding my anger, I politely pointed out how inconsiderate it was of him to double-park. At least he could have left his phone number on the dashboard, I advised.

He replied, “Aiyah, wait for a while only…” and drove away without an apology.

What an idiot.

A few days ago, I had a sudden craving for chendol (yes, I have lots of cravings). I drove around my neighbourhood’s business park four times before I finally found a parking spot. A few minutes later after tapau-ing my chendol, I walked to my car and found a Camry double-parked right in front of it.

“Another case of a cincalok brain,” I thought.

But well, at least he had some common sense to leave his phone number on the dashboard. Wonderful. (Note: I knew the driver was a ‘he’ because the car looked like a mini recycling centre).

So I gave the driver a call. No one answered. I called once again. Still no answer. I called for the tenth time. Nope, nothing.

I did not know what else to do so I started honking. Upon hearing my honk, every Abu, Ah Kau and Devi ran out from the business units surrounding me to the street fearing it was their double-parked car. Realising it was not, they scurried right back into their mouse holes.

Walauwei! Seriously?

Double-parking has become a serious habit among Malaysians these days.

In certain areas, the developers keep building business parks and shop lots but never cater for sufficient parking bays for visitors. With banks, pharmacies, clinics, eateries, shopping marts, tuition centres and offices all situated in one strategic spot, only a handful of parking lots are offered to the patrons.

Why don’t we have a rule for developers to build an underground or roof top parking space? It’s not rocket science is it? And how on earth did the town council approve such planning? Such cincalokbrains!

And because of these cincalok brains, people who do not double-park like myself have to put up with the rest of the cincalok brains around.

Who am I talking about? Who else if not the shop owners who place plastic chairs on parking lots outside their shops. Upon having a few empty lots to themselves, they start transferring tables and chairs outside. Sometimes even food vans and trucks park on empty lots to do their business. Walauwei– you think the parking lot belongs to your grandfather, izzit?

Thanks to these cincalok brains, more and more selfish idiots who can’t find a proper parking space resort to handicapped parking lots (or perhaps they are mentally handicapped). To keep the special parking lots from being misused, security guards secure the lots with chains. And when a handicapped driver actually wants to park there, they are forced to hunt down the guards to remove the chains. Soleceh!

And because of those who are so fond of double parking, I find that these days people are beginning to double park outside empty spaces! Since the length of one car cannot fit the width of one parking lot, each car parked across an empty bay ends up taking one and a half parking lots!

Seriously, why are there so many inconsiderate, selfish drivers around?

Now don’t get me started about motorists along our highways because it’s the same chaotic scene over there. Some idiots tail-gate. Some idiots race as if they are on an F1 track. Some idiots cut lanes. Some idiots do not use their signal lights. Some idiots use their beam lights when driving at night. Some idiots think their honks are musical instruments. Some idiots are colour blind to traffic lights. There was once I saw an idiot throwing his baby’s used diaper out the window. Really?

I honestly wonder how these people get their driving licenses.

All I ever want to do when I drive is to listen to Ed Sheeren, sit back and enjoy my ride. Is that too much to ask?

Thanks to these bunch of cincalok brains, I always end up driving in a fit of anger. And now even parking has become such a pain in the ass!

Clearly no amount of education or road awareness campaigns are going to solve this problem. So, in the end, it is up to us to learn to be more considerate and patient on the road.

Instead of double parking, we could take a spin or two around the block until we find a parking spot or just wait along the road until a car leaves one. Or we could always park a bit further and walk (in case you have forgotten, your legs are meant for walking, not controlling your brake, oil and clutch).

Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out, does it?

Anyway, back to my story, the driver of the Camry who double parked finally came back after a good thirty-five minutes. He apologised profusely and even bowed to me like the Japanese do (which was so funny because he was a few shades darker to qualify as one). I would have loved to give him a piece of my mind but since I was too exhausted and also because he was in a hurry to move his car into my spot, I decided to wait for him to park his Camry in the designated parking lot (and walk away) before pouring my melted chendol all over his windscreen.

That cincalok brain deserved it!