A Comedy Of An Interfaith Meeting

 

Yussof Condred 

Unlike parliament, this interfaith meeting was well attended and by representatives of the various faiths. Unlike parliament too, this is a meeting of honest, loving, sincere and God-fearing people. While we have been made to expect parliamentarians to wallow in shameless antics and speech during a session, we expect religionists to exhibit 'prim and proper' behaviour during an interfaith meeting.

The chairman started the meeting by reciting a well-worn quotation in an orotund voice:

"There will be no peace among the nations without peace among the religions. There will be no peace among the religions without dialogue among the religions " 

 

He declared that he was pleased to see so many brethren of the society present. He said, in a tone garnished with unmitigated piety, "All religions are but different roads to the same destination of love and compassion. The sooner we understand each other better, the sooner the walls of suspicion and mistrust will be breached."

 

When he concluded, a thunderous applause ensued. Delegates were seen clapping their hands, nodding their heads and smiling to each. There was a feeling of love in the air and it was almost palpable.

 

When it was time for open discussion, a young delegate, a maverick, raised what might appear to be an idiosyncratic observation, to the consternation or amusement, according to the individual leaning, of the audience. He addressed the Chair and said, "Sir, I see that we do not have a representative here from the community of the Atheists. For me Atheism is a religion with a fair number of followers. Atheists do not believe in the existence of a God and that is their belief. And faith according to definition is 'a belief in something'. Therefore they have a faith and it follows that they have a religion". He further asserted that the meetings in future should include atheists' representatives.

 
A murmur rippled through the congregation of delegates accompanied in equal measure by the sounds of half-stifled chuckles. The Chairman frowned, raised his right to appeal for silence and at that moment an angry, troubling thought went through his mind, "What in heaven's name is this nincompoop trying to do? Throwing his crooked  spanner in the works?" But because the feeling of love was still strong in the air, he checked himself and posed this question to the delegates, as if the subject matter in hand warranted serious discourse, "Would any of my brethren here like to comment on what our brother has just said?"
 
An elderly, erudite scholar immediately raised his hand, stood up and said, "Sir, it is said that the word atheist comes from the Greek ethos. But ethos doesn't refer to people who don't believe in God; it refers to the lonely ones, people whom the Gods have abandoned. This proves that people can't really be atheists, because even if we wanted it, God would never abandon us here. We can't accept the existence of atheists." This was greeted with applause from the group of delegates who were earlier gripped by 'consternation'.
 
Next a young delegate stood up and offered his opinion, "Sir, We certainly do have atheists among our society; atheists who pray to the God of Money. You can find them among those in the business community. Why, they visit their places of worship almost everyday, places like the banks, the stockbrokers' and the casinos. A pious lot of atheists they are!"
 
So a fissure had begun to appear in the gathering over a ' nincompoop's' silly, innocuous observation.
 
Those delegates who were earlier gripped by 'amusement' were sympathetic towards the 'nincompoop 's' cause. They were mostly the hot-headed, Young Turks of the same age as the maverick. They began to chant, 'We want the atheists . We want the atheists!" The opposition replied by thumping the tables loudly. The love in the air had grown thin.
 

When the meeting appeared to look like a parliamentary session a few reporters were seen shaking their heads and making their quick exits.