ULTIMATE DILEMMA: CAREER OR MARRIAGE?

STRIKING the right balance between work and life is often seen as the ultimate quest.

While some people engage in the eternal juggling act, others are opting for one at the expense of the other.

Is it possible to have an amazing career and happy marriage? Four Australians tell us their views.

John Rawlings

John Rawlings has been single for 34 years and has no plans to change. Picture: Supplied.

John Rawlings, 52, has been single for the last 34 years, with his last relationship ending at age 18. He said he would choose career over relationships any day of the week.

"I love the single life, I've got no intention of getting married," he said.

"The emotional and economic independence. That's what I love most. There's no emotional drama no economic drama …. It's true I live alone but I'm by no means lonely."

The Sydney-based human resources consultant describes himself as a sapiosexual - someone more interested in a intellect than physicality - and has made up a T-shirt, sweatshirt and cap printed with the words "I love being single" to declare his commitment to the solo life.

"I did it because I just wanted to make my point clear that I love the single life," he said.

"My brother-in-law is always pressuring me to find a woman. He says if you keep wearing that you'll scare the women off. He seemed to think I should be out there looking for a woman."

John said watching his friends go through bad marriages has made him even more career orientated and he has built a successful life out of human resources and management, while also working as a vocational trainer. He is now looking into studying nutrition.

"I've got no restrictions whatsoever ..."I'm very happy with what I'm doing with my life."

Jackson Capper

Jackson Capper said it’s crucial for both people in the relationship to be on the same page. Picture: Supplied

Jackson Capper, 27, works as a contractor in marketing, business and IT on the Gold Coast.

He values a happy marriage first and foremost "because I think the highest form of living is having a wife and healthy children and going to the park and throwing a frisbee."

Jackson separated from his latest partner after their different views made the relationship difficult.

"Her career was simulating a marriage. It was her security and it met all her needs, it put paid to me," he said.

"She didn't need me for financial security or emotional security because her boss and colleagues would provide that for her."

"I was happy renting, living modestly with secure jobs. She wanted to prove everyone wrong."

Jackson said ultimately it's important both people in the relationship are on the same page. Although it's difficult for Gen Y who are raised to have extremely high expectations which can lead to dysfunction when the reality falls short of expectations.

"I think most younger people would be career orientated and as we mature that changes, Stability and health is what we should strive for," he said.

Taylor Shepard

Taylor Shephard runs two companies and doesn’t think he will get married. Picture: Supplied.

Taylor Shepard, 23, describes himself as an "absolute workaholic" who runs two successful business and has no plans to settle down. Ever.

He grew up in a Catholic household as the second youngest of six boys - all of whom are married - but said he doesn't believe you can have everything.

"My goal was to be the best in business. It wasn't going to be a doting father or a happy husband. I've but everything into my work because of that. I just don't see that as something fruitful for me."

Taylor said he was once on the marriage track, but felt too young and eventually came out as gay to his family.

"I don't need an 18-bedroom house when you're 23. My parents were from the country. They have old fashioned values that don't really work here … We live in one of the greatest cities in the world [Sydney]. It's so easy to make money in Australia ... the whole sitting down every night with the same person doesn't excite me."

"I don't see myself ever getting married. I don't feel like it's for me. I made my choice and I don't really believe we can have it all."

He said his family supports his choice but that doesn't stop them trying to set him up with "good Catholic boys" including the son of his dad's business partner.

"I kind of felt like it was a big of business deal, it was a bit weird," he said.

His goal is to get on the BRW rich list and expand his company around Australia as well as to New Zealand, Canada and the UK..

"The pressure is there but I've always been a really independent person. If I was ever going to break I would have broken by now."

Lissy Renee

Lissy Renee was once career obsessed but now values marriage above all. Picture: Supplied.

Lissy Renee, 28, was a determined career woman, working a demanding job promoting brands and festivals in the music industry, before getting engaged changed her values.

While she grew up a tomboy and always "pitied" her stay-at-home mother, who has now passed away, she said everything changed when she got together with her fiance.

"I love making dinner for him. I've turned into this woman who feels so fulfilled. I love being that woman. The idea of chasing these career goals feels meaningless for me.

"I suppose you have to make the choice one or the other. I don't think [career] would make me nearly as happy," she said.

Lissy Renee

While she recognises that her husband was attracted to her as a career woman in the first place, she has now scaled back her job in order to spend time on their family life which leaves her "completely fulfilled".

"It's those traditional roles but they don't feel repressive ... I feel it's rewarding. He gets to be the man and I get to be the woman."

Is it possible to have an amazing career and happy marriage? Four Australians tell us their views. Picture: Thinkstock

news.com.au