UMNO'S HOUSE OF HORRORS (Part One)

RIGHT: Pin-up shot of Saiful Bukhari in a baseball cap that has been circulating the internet; Pederasts Anonymous have expressed Socratic interest in this promising young man and invited him to be their mascot

SAIFUL BUKHARI AZLAN ON MALAYSIAKINI:

"I swore in the name of Allah at the Federal Territory Mosque this evening in accordance to the teachings of Islam and as advised by religious scholars and teachers that I was sodomised by Anwar Ibrahim."

What is Saiful saying? Islam teaches people to swear in the name of Allah (whose own credibility, credentials, and existence have yet to be established to everybody's satisfaction) whenever accused of any behavior deemed to be an offence? Any boy as pretty as Saiful will have had a long history of being "hit on" by males as well as females. By the age of 23 he ought to have learnt how to accept or refuse such erotic advances. To now claim he was forcibly sodomized by a 61-year-old man with a bad back defies belief - unless he was drugged and raped, which is a whole different scenario. Anyone who has ever attempted penetration of a tight anus will attest that this is virtually impossible without the the acquiescence, consent and wholehearted cooperation of the person to whom the anus belongs.

Penetration by force would result in tissue damage, bleeding and scarring easily detectable by even a cursory rectal examination - and we already have the sworn testimony of the good Burmese doctor at Hospital Pusrawi that no such signs of forced entry were discovered. Apparently a subsequent rectal examination of Saiful Bukhari at Hospital Kuala Lumpur also confirmed that there were no signs of forced entry. Saiful can swear on every book in the world till he's blue in the face - but that won't alter the results of the rectal examinations. Unless, of course, Saiful has an extremely accommodating and elastic anus that allows him to be sodomized by a rogue elephant and still show no physical signs.

Alpha blogger Raja Petra Kamarudin has disclosed on Malaysia Today: "At 2.30pm on Wednesday, 25 June 2008, Senior Assistant Commissioner (SAC) II Mohd Rodwan Mohd Yusof (shown right in a 1998 file picture) met Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan in room 619 of the Concorde Hotel in Kuala Lumpur. Prior to this secret meeting, Rodwan and Saiful spoke on the phone at least eight (8) times."

Now this is an extremely detailed disclosure which suggests that somebody within the police force is extremely unhappy with the dirty business at hand and has chosen to be RPK's "Deep Throat." I didn't hear any reporters questioning Saiful at yesterday's press conference about his connection with SAC Rodwan Yusof (who has been accused of helping Musa Hassan falsify evidence against Anwar Ibrahim in the 1998 sodomy allegation instigated by Mahathir). No doubt Saiful would have replied: "I will answer that in court later."

"The oath I've taken was done voluntarily and it was done to uphold the truth as a Muslim, a Malay and a Malaysian."

Saiful Bukhari sees himself as primarily a Muslim, then a Malay, and lastly a Malaysian. I'm sorry, Saiful, but being any of those doesn't add any credence whatsoever to your oath. The Umno chaps all claim to be Muslim, Malay, and Malaysian - and that has never stopped them from lying through every orifice just to cling on to power.

"I understand that if the allegations and oath that I've taken under the name of Allah are not true, I will be cursed by God and tragedy and curse will come upon my family and the generations after me forever."

Even if God lets you off light, Saiful, you can bet your arse you will be spat at and shunned by a lot of people for stooping so low just for a bit of cheap publicity and a "scholarship" from Umno. But please leave your fiancée out of this curse business - I'm sure she had no idea what she was in for. Curse your father (pictured right), if you like; he looks like someone already accursed.

"I've taken this oath to prove that my allegations are completely true. This is the best way for me to attain justice in the world and the hereafter and for me to redeem my pride and dignity as Allah is the only place where I can complain to."

Load of crap, boy! Taking that oath on the Qur'an proves only one thing: you're convinced that other Muslims will be inclined to believe you're telling the truth, and that's what this evil game is really about - to poison the minds of Muslim-Malay voters against Anwar Ibrahim, the greatest threat Umno has ever faced in its entire history. And if you truly feel Allah is your recourse, why did you bother going for a rectal examination at Hospital Pusrawi before lodging a police report on 28 June as instructed by your Umno handlers?

"I've done this for God and I took my oath in the house of God, that I was humiliated and sodomised by Anwar Ibrahim and I do not wish to lie to the world as he has done."

You twisted little shit, Saiful! Umno is NOT God! You've been offered filthy lucre to "sacrifice yourself" to save Umno from Anwar Ibrahim - and you saw a golden opportunity to attain global notoriety as Anwar's political assassin - exactly like Mark David Chapman believed he would forever be remembered as the fuckwit who shot John Lennon.

Saiful, an omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent God would already know what a "good" boy you are (no need for you to sumpah on the Qur'an, that's only for show); an all-powerful God would have intervened to protect your chastity from being ravaged. God the omnipresent also resides in your anus and, for all we know, probably relishes the occasional rectal probe!

[First posted 16 August 2008]