Annoying guests during Raya: Are You One Of Them?

It’s that time of the year again when we celebrate Hari Raya Aidilfitri, to conclude the significant end of the Ramadan fasting month.

The last few days of Ramadan are filled with excitement as many of us would be busy preparing for last minute Raya shopping for clothes, home decorations and other Raya goodies. Many would also go ‘balik kampung’ to their respective hometown to celebrate with their loved ones during the festive season.

In the morning of Hari Raya, after attending the Eid prayer, this is the time where family members gather and seek forgiveness with each other on the meaningful day.

With everyone looking so dapper and stylish in their traditional ‘baju Melayu’ and ‘baju kurung’, this is also the time we can indulge ourselves with traditional Malay delicacies such as ketupat, rendang and ‘kuih Raya’!

Being in a multi-racial society, every festive holiday will be celebrated together no matter Raya, Chinese New Year, Deepavali or Christmas.

The rest of the day will be spent visiting relatives or entertaining neighbors and friends in your home. However, it is common to have guests coming over, even if you’re not hosting an open house especially if you’re celebrating your Raya in major cities.

Of course, being a festive public holiday, a lot of people will be coming over and that is when you get to see some interesting types of characters from your guests.

Here are some of the interesting people that you may encounter during your Hari Raya celebration:

Some guests would be the first one to visit your house, but isn't it too early? Pic: www.akmaomar.com

The Early Comers

Believe it or not, before your family’s program of the day has even started, there is this so-called first guest. For Muslims, having people coming over is considered as a blessing, but then when it’s too early, it can be a little bit annoying for some.

“I have this neighbor at my grandparents’ place in Ampang where this grandpa will always come without fail as our first guest for the past few Rayas,”

“He would come right after we get home from prayer and will always crash our forgiving and family photo session! It’s kind of annoying at first,” chuckles Muhallil Abdullah, 20, a Front Office Assistant.

Muhallil said his family has already got used to him for being the early guest and think of him as part of the family.

Expect a large crowd of 'Cik Kiahs' at your home during Raya! Pic: www.youtube.com

The ‘Rombongan Cik Kiahs’

It is okay for your relatives to come in a convoy to your home because they are family, but what about the non-relatives?

Sure, the more the merrier, but when it’s too crowded, you’ll be running around like a headless chicken; not having enough hands to entertain both your family and your friends at the same time.

Now don’t you complain to the host when there’s nobody to entertain you.

There's always a 'kepochi' during Raya. Brace your ears! Pic: www.islamicity.com

The ‘Kepochis’

A busybody or what we know as a ‘kepochi’ (derived from the word kepoh) is someone who is consider to be noisy and talks a lot on irrelevant things such as; “Where did you get your new curtains?” or “Why you never change your furniture?” and the most annoying of them all; "When are you getting married?"

Usually, this happens with your ‘favorite’ aunts or uncles that you’re not that keen to meet during Raya.

I guess it’s not entirely bad to have kepochis at your house, as it’ll make your Raya more memorable with them around.

Don't abuse the 'make-yourself-at-home' too much. The host might fun it uneasy. Pic: nicknashram.blogspot.com

The All-Day Guest: Make-yourself-at-home-way-too-comfy!

We love to ask our guest to make themselves comfortable at home but then, some would take the whole comfort thing way too seriously by coming over from the morning and will only leave late at night!

If it was myself, I wouldn’t be comfortable to stay in someone’s house for that period of time especially during Raya. Some would blatantly have the control over the TV’s remote or laying down in your living room like nobody’s business!

Yes, it is nice to have your breakfast, lunch, teatime, dinner and supper all in one during Raya, but the house owner would probably feel a little uneasy to have you around long enough.

Prepare yourself for a Raya runaway show at your home. Pic: specials.malaysia.msn.com

The Show-Offs

“Look at what I’m wearing for this Raya, it’s a designer brand, okay!”

“Aunts, uncles, meet my new girlfriend. She’s pretty right?”

Those were some of the conversations that you would end up having with these swaggers. Some would do a Raya fashion show for you, showing off their baju Raya to you or exhibiting their affections towards their boyfriends or girlfriends,

It is Raya people, better off forgive and forget the rough patch rather than brag about whatever you have at someone’s home.

Kids will after only one thing: Duit Raya! Pic: suhaisweet.blogspot.com

The ‘Outta Control’ Kids

Yes, having kids around fill your home with fun and laughter, but there might be some hyperactive children of your guests who can cause a lot of chaos in your specially decorated home.

Brace yourself for split food and drink and take extra caution of those expensive vase and home décor that is being display in your home as children can be a little off the hook at times.

Moreover, look out for the ‘duit raya’ gang of kids who will come to ‘beraya’, but are only eager for the customary money token rather than enjoying the festive moment and delightful dishes served on Hari Raya.

Azlyna said Raya needs the fanfare spirit but thinks people should instill good etiquette. Pic: mDHow do we treat these kinds of guests?

So there you have some interesting characters that you will encounter on the special occasion. It’s not trying to be rude or treating your guests badly during Hari Raya but bear in mind, I think people should have an open mindset that other people also have their own traditions and ways to celebrate Raya.

For instance, try to set a time limit for each guest’s visit. For those who seem to be clingy and making your home feel like their own, you could try to hint that you have to go out and visit other relatives or something.

In a way, it’s like turning them away but in a proper and non-offensive way. After all, one house is not enough to visit especially during the first day of Raya.

“It’s a pretty subjective matter when it comes to unwanted guests especially during Raya” said Azlyna Abdullah, a Beauty Advisor.

“Most of my guests during Raya lack good manners such as speaking loudly, throwing unnecessary things like tissues or cigarette puffs everywhere in the house!” said the 24-year-old.

“Yes, Raya needs the fanfare spirit but I think people should instill good etiquette as it is very important,”

Asking on how she handles her ‘unwanted’ guests, Azlyna replied: “I’ll show a positive example on how to ‘teach’ this kind of people. For example, just treat them nicely and don’t show any unflattering face or make unkind remarks but at the same time give a hint that they are sort of not welcome here,” laughed Azlyna.

For Rhap Alqram, 26, he thinks that it’s not that pleasant to dismiss people on special occasions like Hari Raya.

“Don’t host or invite people to come over to your house if you’re going to make ‘faces’ or be the type of host who is not into attending guests,” he said.

Obviously, not everyone will get the message that you’re trying to deliver to them. Alternatively, you can try by visiting their house on the next Raya to set a good example.

Upon visiting their house, try to give an impression of not staying too long when you are at their home. This is simply trying to say that not everyone is comfortable to have guests prolong their visits.

If you have young children, be responsible and keep an eye on them when visiting someone’s home during special occasions.

Teach your children good manners in keeping with the traditional ‘adat’ when visiting for example, to greet and shake hands with the elders or owner of the house and the value of money.

Show your guests that they are welcome at your home as long as they are being respectful and graceful. Pic: www.everydayonsales.comThe rule is simple: your house, your rules. No matter how friendly and graceful you can be, some guest will always find a way to be demanding and abuse your hospitality as a host.

The point is not about getting rid of the unwanted guest that is the best solution; it’s about showing people the importance of good manners and proper etiquette at any kind of social occasion.

You don’t want grating guests to take up a lot of your valuable time and energy when celebrating Hari Raya, so patience is the important virtue to bear in mind when it comes to treating your guests.

Welcome them with your warmest greeting. Show them that they are welcome at your home as long as they are being respectful and graceful.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir Dan Batin!

- mD