My body is not an invitation – Rosheen Fatima

This article was first published on ELLE Malaysia’s website.

In his column this week in Sinar Harian, ironically titled "When the ignorant speak", Ridhuan Tee claimed that women's bodies invite rape. As a rape survivor, woman, sister, daughter and – most importantly – as a human being, this statement filled me with disgust.

Almost 11 years ago, I was abducted and raped while wearing baggy jeans and a loose T-shirt. It was a fairly androgynous outfit. That did not stop me from being targeted.

I survived. Years later, after putting my life back together, going through the court case, seeing my rapists convicted and beginning to move on and heal (an endless journey), I see headlines telling me that, according to Ridhuan Tee, I invited the rape by virtue of my having a female body.

In the rest of the article, which I read in its original form, Tee goes on to say that the "rapist does not pick their victim" and that "when women who cover their aurat are raped, it is fate". He also quotes Zig Ziglar and Sudin Dhavalikar, both of whom are men, and neither of whom are rape experts, let alone rape survivors.

Why are the narratives of survivors being given over to the likes of these men? Why are our narratives being told by those who have not been remotely affected by this brutal act of violence? Because that is what it is – pure and simple – an act of violence.

Mr. Ridhuan Tee (and those who were involved in the Friday prayer sermon that began this conversation), do you not have any empathy or compassion?

Can you not imagine how survivors would feel reading your words and accusations? You claim your statements are logical. You say we should accept that this is what happens to women. To me that's nothing but victim blaming, when in fact the logical response would be to put the blame squarely where it belongs: on the shoulders of those who rape.

I was raped by strangers, which places me in the minority. Most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. In 2001, the year I was raped, I was one of 1,386 reported cases. (And keep in mind that for every rape that is reported, nine go unreported.)

You would think that we would be progressing, but this number continues to climb, with the most recent figures showing there were 2,998 rapes reported in Malaysia in 2012 (in 2010, the figure surpassed 3,500).

These statistics, more than anything, are a warning sign that we need to tackle this problem. These figures show that rape culture exists. And misogynistic comments like Ridhuan Tee's that attempt to justify rape are only adding to the problem.

One only needs to read the comments on his article to see others justifying rape culture too, and horrifically twisting the beautiful religion of Islam as a means to do so.

One commenter wrote: "This statement is okay. What's the problem? There is no issue of insulting women, or insulting other religions. It is clear that his comments are telling us to follow the religion's laws that's all. A simple thing, why are non-Muslims getting heated?"

How can we, as a civilised society, not be outraged?

Rapists make a choice to rape. There is no invitation, no fate that intervenes. It is a choice to rape. A choice to brutally assault and traumatise a fellow human being.

There is no justification. Ever. Rape culture is simply an indifferent society allowing rape to be normalised, to be accepted in our psyche, and to blame the victim for it. It is rape culture that forces survivors to be silent. To not come forward. To be ashamed of something that is not their fault.

Ridhuan Tee is a Malaysian. He is a husband and a father. He is also a lecturer allowed to shape the minds of future generations. Shame on you, Ridhuan Tee. Put the blame where it belongs.

There is only one thing that causes rape: rapists.

We are not an indifferent society, Malaysia. We must take our narratives back. I am doing so now.

I am a rape survivor.

I am not ashamed of what happened to me.

It was not my fault.

I am a woman.

My body is not an invitation.

* Statistics courtesy of the Women's Aid Organisation.