SATURDAY JOKES - 72

 

Two women were playing golf. On the third hole there were 4 men in front of them but about 175 yards down the fairway.
The first woman said I'll tee off he is far enough away. She hit the drive of her life, a great shot straight down the fairway. She screamed aloud at the top of her lungs and as the men turned around, one of them was hit solidly. He was rolling on the ground in pain with his hands between his legs.
She ran to him, apologising and saying "let me help I am a physical therapist." He protested but she got him to put his hands at his side. She unzipped his pants and began massaging him.
"How does that feel?" she asked. He said, "Great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. 

Automatically burns toast!

I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth...
But unfortunately, the earth is round.

A student fell into a routine cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.
Didn't realise how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:
"Dear Son, 

Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. 

Love, Dad."

Dinner Special - Beef RM10.75; Chicken RM8.50; Children RM5.00.

A veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh died on Wednesday from a severe yeast infection. He was 71.
He was buried on Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. 

The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded"
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a role model to millions. 

Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and... one in the oven.

We have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition!

Dear Ahmad,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. It's the usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently - although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them. "I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the street.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just don't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my boat next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my boat, that I noticed that the lower unit of the boat seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?
Worried Sick in Langkawi.

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