TODDLER TEMPER TANTRUMS

 

For parents, temper tantrums can be irritating and challenging to deal with. Perhaps you are wondering what the norm is for temper tantrums, how they differ at each age, and how you can manage them as a parent

Tantrum vs. Meltdown – What’s the Difference?

Tantrums and meltdowns may look very similar at a glance. In fact, many people think they are the same thing. Nonetheless, tantrums and meltdowns are not the same.

A tantrum happens when a child is trying to get something the child wants or needs. The child will have an outburst that involves yelling and crying. When a child has a tantrum, the child may even stop in the middle to see if the parent or caregiver is looking at him or her and then continue with the outburst.

This is not an appropriate way to express feelings. Often, children will stop when they get what they want or when they realize that having a tantrum would not solve the problem.  

A meltdown happens when a child is overwhelmed by sensory overload.  Meltdowns may involve yelling, crying, or shutting down. For example, meltdown may happen after a busy day at an amusement park. While a child may have had tons of fun, the child was also processing a lot of sounds, sights, tastes, and textures.

Your child cannot control a meltdown that is a result of sensory overload. Temper tantrums can be stressful for both the parent and child. Nonetheless, understanding and responding appropriately to the tantrum can improve behaviour over time. So, before you throw your hands up in defeat, learn about the various reasons why children of different ages throw temper tantrums. 

How to Stop Temper Tantrums?

Identify and Stop Baby Tantrum Triggers.

As said before, baby tantrums are inevitable. Small children cannot effectively communicate their problems or thoughts. For this reason, it is up to the parent to investigate and find the source of their grief. The following questions are a few things you should consider if your baby is throwing a tantrum:-

·         Is your little one hungry, tired, or does he or she has a messy diaper?

·         Is your little one too hot or too cold?

·         Could he or she be getting sick?

Some babies throw a tantrum because they are frustrated. If that is the case, help your baby achieve his or her goal or remove the frustration. If your baby is afraid or anxious, cuddle, and comfort your little one, removing him or her from the stressful situation.

Remember, your baby cannot yet communicate with you. The only way he or she can express himself or herself is to cry. If your baby is crying intensely or excessively, it is probably because he or she is trying to tell you something.

However, if your baby is crying because he or she was playing with a confiscated toy, try to find a distraction for him or her. For instance, get your baby excited about a different toy.

Stop and Prevent Further Toddler Temper Tantrums.

Whatever you do, remain calm. If you try to punish or threaten your child while he or she is already in the throes of a tantrum, the tantrum may escalate. As mentioned, children who have lost control of their emotions may feel anxious or afraid of how they feel. If you yell, it may make the situation worse. Therefore, your first step should be calming down your child without giving in to bad behaviour. 

Here is how to stop each type of tantrum:-

·         Fatigue/frustration tantrum. Give your child a nap or snack, offer help, or take a break from whatever your toddler is doing.

·         Attention-seeking/demanding tantrum. This is often a response to you saying no. Smile, reassure your child you love him or her, make him or her feel safe, and calmly offer to talk to him or her again when he or she is calmer. You may say something like, “When you are done with yelling, you can calmly tell me that you are ready to talk.”

·         Refusal tantrum. This happens when the child says no, usually because you have asked him or her to do something he or she does not want to do. Try to go easy on your little one if the situation is not too critical. If it is snack time and your child does not want to eat, for instance, do not force him or her to do it anyway if it will trigger a tantrum.

·         Disruptive tantrum. These usually occur when children are acting up. Place your child in a room by him or herself and give him or her a time out for a few minutes. If you are not at home, take your child outside. Help your child to understand that he or she will not get attention from you or anyone else from misbehaving. Sometimes, toddlers will check to see if you are paying attention to them when they are throwing a tantrum.

·         Rage tantrum. This is when your child loses control physically and emotionally. He or she may scream, kick, or hit, potentially harming himself or herself or even, others. Some toddlers do not understand the intensity of their own emotions. If you are able, hold your child securely and tell him or her that you will continue doing so until he or she calms down and gains control over himself or herself.

Bear in mind, ignoring a temper tantrum can be a positive way to stop them! Why? It shows your child that you will not give him or her attention for misbehaving.

If your child is old enough to communicate effectively, talk to him or her. Your child may experience tantrums because he or she is stressed about something he or she is having a hard time explaining.

How to Stop Toddler Bedtime Tantrums.

Toddler bedtime tantrums can make bedtime very difficult! Many children make bedtime difficult because they do not want to go to bed. This is a type of refusal tantrum. Toddler bedtime tantrums are very common. In fact, bedtime is a learned routine and will get better with consistency.

The best way to stop it is to develop a regular bedtime routine and stick to it every night. For instance, your child’s bedtime routine may start with taking a bath, then move on to brushing teeth, putting pyjamas on, and reading a bedtime story. Make sure that your child’s bedtime routine is the same every night and takes place at the same time. This way, your child will get used to the idea of winding down for sleep.

Additionally, if your child does not seem tired at bedtime, you may consider getting rid of nap time. 

Lastly, be sure to reward good behaviour. For instance, when your toddler goes to bed without throwing a tantrum all week, perhaps get a new toy, go out for ice cream, get a new bedtime book, or enjoy a trip to the park. 

Toddler Tantrums: When to Worry.

There are five red flags when it comes to toddler temper tantrums and when to worry. Here they are:

Firstly, if your toddler is showing aggression toward you, a caregiver, or an object during all or most of his or her tantrums, it may signal a disruptive disorder.

Secondly, children who harm themselves deliberately during a temper tantrum (biting or scratching themselves, banging their heads against a wall, or kicking something in an attempt to hurt themselves) are more likely to have major depression.

Thirdly, preschoolers who have frequent tantrums at home or who have more than five tantrums a day outside of the home may have a serious psychiatric problem.

Fourthly, if children constantly have temper tantrums that last more than 30 minutes, it may be a sign of another underlying problem. Keep in mind, though, that a child may have a very long tantrum and be completely normal. It is when a child continuously has tantrums exceeding 30 minutes that a child may have another issue causing it.

Fifthly, if a child cannot calm himself or herself down after a tantrum, it may be another red flag that a problem is occurring. These children often require some bribery or physical removal from the situation to calm them down.

If your child is experiencing one or more of these red flags, it may be a sign that he or she has some health problem. Talk to your child’s pediatrician to see if there could be an underlying problem. 

Rest assured that most children have tantrums! 

As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.