All set for launch of mother of all brands - Pardon

 

SATIRE | Like subsidised fuel, products and services sold under this brand are meant for the consumption and enjoyment of Malaysians - no pendatang or anyone masquerading as anak Malaysia allowed.

It was conceptualised, designed, and marketed by a brilliant student who entered university at the ripe old age of 69.

If previously, he had put his knowledge, skills, and experience and associated with the wrong characters in get-rich-quick schemes, he had turned himself around although there has been no open admission of remorse or regret.

Since entering the university on Aug 23, 2022, the student, has spent all his time (there was nothing else to do) on the project.

Spending almost all the daylight hours in his small but comfortable convalescent home, the brand captures everything Malaysian.

In a play of words between Passion, a French perfume, and Pandanus amaryllifolius, better known to Malaysians as pandan (leaves), a new brand was born.

Although the word was on the lips of many of the student’s followers, a marketing campaign was started when two years ago but was disorganised and sometimes loud and uncouth, so the brand was banished to the back burner.

It was not coordinated and neither did it have the keywords and a unique selling proposition. Everyone had his or her idea of a campaign,

It was not until this week that the brand was resurrected. An application to register the trademark was submitted by the student’s lawyers months ago but is expected to be formalised anytime soon.

“Pardon” is a new Malaysian brand name and encompasses products and services that every Malaysian needs.

But honesty and integrity are not part of the brand and perhaps it reflects its shady past and associates.

The student wants to license the brand as a franchise to friendly entrepreneurs for 12 years but the authorities argued that it could not go the full monty - and slashed it to six.

Who can get it?

Businesspersons see endless opportunities - from food and beverages to mobile telephones and from beauty products to restaurants.

The student can also seek the help of a former minister who had planned a visit to Afghanistan to promote women’s rights. Give her a few starters’ kits to be distributed to the Taliban who can compel usage.

But for starters, look at the home market. If each of those who shouted the student’s name while he was inside (the university), buys Pardon products, it will be quite a sale.

But then, like all rent-a-mobs, they must be paid to attend the sale!

For starters, pupils in a special school will no longer be restricted to cheap biscuits. Instead, they will be treated to Pardon croissants for the same price.

Ladies will also benefit. Manicured fingernails and coiffured hairdos will no longer cost RM1,200 a pop and if you go now to a Pardon franchise, it would cost you just half.

Meanwhile, the backroom boys are already churning out the various designs for promotional material and the student will pick what he likes when he comes out soon. Some prominent musicians have been commissioned and the student will go into the recording studios as before.

Celebrity appearances

A multi-million ringgit launching campaign is in the works. Several celebrities have been approached to endorse, but sadly Leanardo di Caprio and Miranda Kerr have opted out.

Despite having cashed out long before the brand was even thought of, this is something one must remember - do not expect anything in return after the money changes hands.

It is not immediately known if the man responsible for Pardon - Jho Low - will make an appearance, but despite his status as a wanted man, he could wrangle his way dropping Madame’s name along the way and make a cameo appearance.

But there are enough locals to replace them. Remember the star who shed crocodile tears at the court? She can make a guest appearance and so can thousands of mat rempit to do a jelajah Malaysia with their kapchais.

But surely, two men of the Comedy Court - Alan Perera and Indi Nadarajah will likely be there lurking unnoticed in the crowd.

Where else is a better venue to garner ideas for a new skit to mark the launching of Pardon?

But on a serious note, the marketing and advertising fraternity will have competition at the next awards ceremonies.

But do remember that sometimes, even the best-planned events can go wrong. A lone voice in the crowd could tell the student: “Pardon me Monsieur, your slip is showing.” - Mkini

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R NADESWARAN says “Pardon” has the whole country and it would be inappropriate to ignore the launch of the biggest brand to date. Comments: citizen.nades22@gmail.com

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.