At certain times in your life it will be important to have friends, but at other times, you can get by with very few.
During school, friends seem extremely important. The number and ‘status’ of your friends is a key determinant of your own perceived social status among your peers. However, you will find this changes as you get older. The way you define a friend will also change. In school, you meet your friends socially several times a day. When you have children and a career, it might be once a month.
I don’t think there’s been a time in my life I haven’t had at least a couple of reliable friends, but often I have not had any more than that. And I am a very happy person. But it was a while before I recognised that some people need to socialise more than me and that the high-school popularity contest was over. It was a great relief when I realised I didn’t need to care whether I had 50 friends and went to all the cool parties. I don’t actually like cool parties, and having 50 friends would distract me from my few close friends and from my solitary pursuits. It sounds like you may be similar.
So that’s my gift to you – a sneak preview of the fact that you never need to worry about not having enough friends. –Trevor Best
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