DEEPAVALI JOKES 2021

Mohan was flying home to see his family to celebrate Diwali with them. Fifteen minutes into the flight from London to Kuala Lumpur, the captain announced, 'Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.' Thirty minutes later the captain announced, 'One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry . . . we can fly just fine on two engines.' An hour later the captain announced, 'One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another hour. But don't worry... we still have one engine left.' Mohan, turned to the man in the next seat and sighed and he said, 'If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!'

My Hindu friend is very peaceful.

He has never had beef with anyone!

A priest and a Hindu man are making breakfast...

The priest is spreading on margarine and exclaims, "Look! It's Jesus in the spread!"
Shocked, the Hindu man replies, "Wow, I can't believe it's not Buddha!"

A priest, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car suddenly breaks-down. They set out to find help, and come to a farmhouse. When they knock on the door, the farmer explains that he has only two beds, and one of the three has to sleep in the barn with the animals.

The three quickly agree. The priest says he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the priest leaves, there's a knock on the bedroom door. It's the priest, exclaiming, "I can’t sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my conscience to sleep in the same room with such a filthy animal!"

The Hindu says he would sleep in the barn, as he had no problems with pigs. However, about five minutes later, the Hindu suddenly enters the bedroom door saying, "There’s a cow in the barn! I can't sleep in the same room with a cow! It's against my religion!"

The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, says he'd go to the barn, as he has no problem sleeping with animals. 

 

In two minutes, the bedroom door bursts open and the pig and the cow enter..

A Hindu man dies and goes to heaven. He's standing at the Pearly Gates, talking to St Peter. He says, "I wish to speak to Jesus Christ", and St Peter turns his head and yells, "Jesus, your cab is here!"

Ramasamy phones Malaysia Airlines, 'How long does it take to fly to Penang?' 'Just a sec,' answers the representative. 'Thank you,' says Ramasamy and hangs up.

Why did the Hindu comedian stop telling jokes on reddit?

Bad karma!

On the eve of Diwali, a blackjack dealer and Selvam, a player who is holding cards adding to 13 were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer. Selvam said, 'When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it, so why should I tip him?' The dealer argued, 'When you eat out do you tip the waiter?' 'Of course,' replied Selvam. ''Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me.' 'OK, but the waiter always gives me what I ask for.  Give me an eight to make blackjack!' concluded Selvam.

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