Society has evolved in many ways, and yet, has stayed exactly the same. Technology has grown by leaps and bounds yet many are still playing catching up.
Kids bullying other kids is not a new phenomenon. The online version of this, otherwise known as cyberbullying, is unfortunately a growing trend amongst our youth.
However, it is still a new beast – at least in the legal sphere. And the pandemic has not helped.
Being stuck at home in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic can lead to increased levels of stress and anxiety. This is likely a contributing factor to the rising cases of cyberbullying in Malaysia.
Unlike bullying that usually happens in face-to-face situations, people rarely take cyberbullying seriously.
With the internet being what it is, anything and everything is easily brushed off as ‘an opinion’.
Official numbers should convince everyone that this is a serious problem; a 2018 study to measure cyberbullying by tech review site Comparitech concluded that Malaysia placed sixth among 28 countries surveyed, and ranked second in Asia.
The silver lining of the pandemic is that it has made more people sit up and take cyberbullying seriously.
Here are some common scenarios of cyberbullying and what can be done about it.
Sexuality
Topics centred on someone’s sexuality is a very common scenario with cyberbullying.
This can either come from the assumption of someone’s sexuality based on their behaviour or specific ‘traits’, or if someone is openly queer.
Derogatory terms and insults are usually used to make fun of the person involved. The victim is likely to be ‘outed’ on social media platforms.
Not everyone is accepting and supportive when it comes to the LGBTQIA+ community and because of this, exposing the victims can put their safety at risk.
In extreme cases, some victims have received death threats.
Physical appearance
Picking on someone’s physical attributes is also another common scenario with cyberbullying.
The colour of one’s skin, being overweight or underweight, having acne, being too short or too tall can lead to one becoming a victim of cyberbullying.
However, having ‘different’ physical attributes are not the only instances a person is bullied. Being too ‘good looking’ can easily land one in the same spot.
Sharing the victim’s pictures on the internet without consent and shunning them from all social groups usually happens in these instances.
The good news is that ‘body-shaming’ is now a recognisable offence under the Ministry of Health.
According to Section 233 (1) (b) Communication and Multimedia Act 1998 (Act 588), if found guilty, the offender can be fined no more than RM50,000 or face imprisonment for no more than a year, or both.
The red flags
As parents, you need to actively look out for signs that your child is being bullied and help put a stop to it as soon as you can.
Here are some of red flags that your child may be the target of cyberbullying:
- Appearing lethargic and depressed.
- Acting quieter than usual.
- Always finding excuses to skip online activities or school.
- Wishing to be alone.
- Switching screens when someone walks into the room.
If your child displays one or more of these signs, have an honest and open conversation with them without being intimidating.
Your child needs to know that they can trust you without being judged. Seek help from any trusted source like a teacher or counsellor if necessary.
Although nothing can guarantee that your child will be absolutely safe online, there are many things that parents can do to lessen the chances of having their kid become a victim of cyberbullying, or to have as minimal effects from it as possible.
Teaching internet safety
Teaching your child about navigating the internet safely and cyberbullying can help them stay on their toes.
Educate your child about the four P’s: privacy, predators, pornography and pop-ups. Discuss the effects caused by each P.
Each of this will teach your child about the primary dangers of the internet and help them steer clear of it.
Teach them not to share personal information or to post anything that they wouldn’t be comfortable with everyone seeing.
Be upfront and honest with your kids. Let them know that you will be looking through their online activities and reviewing their postings. This is not to scare them, but to have them be aware that actions will have consequences.
Helping them manage cyberbullying
Kids need to learn to read into situations and take things seriously. Teach them to take threats seriously, even those that are seemingly ‘a joke’. This will prevent them from easily believing everything they see or read online.
Knowing if and when to retaliate to a bully is also something that every child needs to know. They need to know that retaliating should only be done if absolutely necessary and should only be done in a calm and composed way.
Impress upon them that there’s no point fighting fire with fire – responding assertively and calmly is key.
Building self-confidence
One of the most effective ways to help your child fight cyberbullying is to instil self-confidence in them.
Nothing will break the spirit of someone who is content and confident in their own skin, no matter what is thrown at them.
Let them know that you value their existence and that you appreciate having them around. Teach them problem-solving and decision-making skills to better stand up for themselves if they need to.
And finally, lead by example. Value yourself, assertively stand up for yourself and never let anyone put you down so that your child can see what healthy self-confidence and self-esteem looks like.
This also means that you should be practicing what you preach. As much as you are monitoring your child’s online activities, they are also watching you. Show them that you can be civil and stand up for yourself without vitriol. - FMT
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