SUNDAY JOKES - 122

 

One night an angel was flying around. 

She saw a guy is counting sheep in bed: "one, two, three, four, five, six ..."
The angel removed his left brain, and the guy counts: "one ... three ... five ..."
The angel then returns his left brain and removed his right brain, the guy counts: " ... two, ... four, ... six ..."
Finally, the angel removed both brains and the guy counts: "satu ... dua ... tiga ... empat..."

An Indian, a Chinese and a Malay guy were walking down the street, then suddenly a car came and knocked all three of them in one go. Soon it attracted a crowd as they tried to help the victims. While waiting for the ambulance, the Indian guy suddenly woke up and the crowd asked what happened? He said when all three were hit, they went to heaven. God told them that it wasn't really their time so with a fee of RM 100 each, they can return back to their bodies. So, the crowd asked where were the Chinese and Malay guys. He said "The last time I remembered the Chinese guy was bargaining for a lower fee and the Malay guy was insisting his Government will pay for it!"

A Korean guy asked God.

"God, when will Korea win the World Cup?"

God said "50 years".

The Korean guy cried because he won't live to see his country win.

A Singaporean asked God.

"God, when will Singapore win the World Cup?"

God said "100 years".

The Singaporean guy cried because he and his son won't see his country win.

Finally, a Malaysian guy asked God.

"God, when will Malaysia win the World Cup?"

God cried instead!

They were selling brains for brain transplant at the hospital and so the doctor was explaining to the customer: "This here is a brain of a fellow doctor, he has a lot of experience and knowledge in medicine, it costs 10 million ringgit"'

At the next brain: "Here we have a brain of a professor, he knows a lot of theories and have seen a lot of the world, it costs 50 million ringgit".

At the third brain: "This is a brain of a Malay man; it costs 100 million ringgit".

The customer was startled at the price, "Why" he asked.

Doctor: "Because it can store a lot of things!"

One day, in the plane ... a flight to London on AIR INDIA, there was this Indian man and a British man; they were seated beside each other, so while on the flight ... the air stewardess started serving food but the Indian man, he brought his own food. He took out his own food ... thosai, rice, chicken curry and mutton curry. The British man asked him "What is that?", the Indian man replied "This is Food India". Then the stewardess started serving drinks ... the Indian man took out his bottle of lassi and started gulping it down, then the British man was curious and asked "What is that". The Indian man replied and said "This is Water India". So, after a few minutes everyone in the plane was relaxed ... the British man was sleeping and the Indian man was reading his newspaper. Suddenly the Indian man farted ... the British man was startled and he woke up and he asked the Indian man "what was that!?". The Indian man replied and said "That is Air India!"

 

Ahmad, Kumar and Ah Beng were walking along a street when they suddenly spotted a mysterious object on the floor. They drew closer to the object and Ahmad remarked, "Looks like shit lah!". Then Kumar took a sniff at the object and said, "Smells like shit also". Ah Beng then poked his finger in the object and puts it in his mouth. He said, "Confirmed ... it's shit! Phew ... luckily we never stepped on it!!!".

Four delegates from China, Russia, the United States and Malaysia attended the United Nations Meeting. All the nations were discussing about space exploration in the year 2022. Here are some of their conversation:

Chinese Delegate: "In 2022, China will be quite advanced in their moon exploration project".

Russian Delegate: "We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step foot on the moon".

Joe Biden: "We, the United States will also explore the moon for the second time".

Malaysian Delegate: "In 2022, Malaysia will explore the sun".

There was a long silence, Joe Biden stood up and asked the Malaysian Delegate: "Isn't it too hot to explore the sun".

Malaysian Delegate (smiling): "I had this thought out already. We will do it at night!"

One night, three thieves broke into a house. Upon entering, they broke up and went searching around the house for valuables. Unfortunately, the owner heard their footsteps and came down to check, he saw the three thieves and gave them a chase. The three thieves ran until they reached an alley and so thought it would be a good place to hide. The first thief found a sack of 'pedigree' dog food and so he hid inside the sack of dog food, the second thief found a sack of 'whiskers' cat food and so he hid inside the sack of cat food, the third thief was searching frantically for somewhere to hide when he spotted a sack of buffalo meat so without much hesitation, he hid inside.

When the owner finally reached the alley, he noticed some movement in those sacks. slowly, he came closer to the sack of pedigree and gave it a slight nudge. "Woff, Woff!!" imitated the thief. So, the owner thought it was just a hungry dog. Then he came closer to the sack of whiskers and gave it a slight nudge. "Miao ~ !!" imitated the thief. So, the man thought it was just a hungry cat. Lastly, he went to the sack of buffalo meat and gave it a slight nudge. "Woi !! Jangan kacau lah !!!" intimated the thief!

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