Fresh
out of business school, a young man answered a job vacancy advertisement for an
accountant.
Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous
man who ran a small business that he had started himself.
"I need someone with an
accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for
someone to do my worrying for me."
"Excuse me?" the
accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of
things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about
money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the
accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"
"I'll start you on ten
thousand a month."
"Ten thousand
ringgit!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business
afford a sum like that?"
"That," the owner said, "is your
first worry!"
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a
peeping tom?
One snatches your gold watch.
The other watches your snatch!
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box!
Little Johnny was having problems in the English
class, so his teacher, Miss Fagot, decided to stop by Little Johnny's house on
her way home. She wanted to discuss Johnny's poor performance directly with his
parents.
When she rang the doorbell,
little Johnny answered.
"Hello Johnny, I'd like to
talk to your mother or father," she said.
"Sorry, but they aren't
here," he replied.
"Johnny!" she said,
"what is it with your grammar?"
"Haven't got a clue," Johnny replied,
"but dad sure was mad that they had to go bail her out again!"
What are the three shortest words in the English
language?
"Is it in?"
What's the difference between an oral and a
rectal thermometer?
The taste!
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy
boob?
"If we don't get some support, people will
think we're nuts!"
Two blondes were working on a house. The one who
was nailing down the siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail
and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other, figuring this
was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails
away?"
The first explained, "If I
pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed toward me, I throw it away because
it's defective. If it is pointed toward the house, then I nail it
in!"
The second blonde got
completely upset and yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed toward you
aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
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