Beware the dark side of social media, early adopters warn

 Two who grew up on online interactions say it fuels insecurities and leads people to take up a fake persona.

Activists and early adopters warn that without careful oversight, social media use could lead to lasting psychological harm. (Freepik pic)

PETALING JAYA:

Isa Aziz Aznan and Ashley Guneratne had an early start on social media. They were still very young when they got their first peek into the platform, complete with its many hazards and loads of distasteful content.

It gave them access to material that would have left their parents horrified and, worse than that, even influenced them into living a lie.

Their reflection on the long hours spent online in their childhood years, and the risks that came with it, underlines the reason for Malaysia taking the step to restrict social media access to those below age 16.

Like life on stage

For Isa, now aged 26, and Ashley, 25, it evolved into a phase where they were adopting new identities, and even gender as in Ashley’s case, to engage in unpalatable activities such as baiting people.

Isa told FMT the biggest impact was the pressure to “perform”, to appear interesting and successful, even if it meant exaggerating reality.

“(In situations like this) you end up inventing a persona displaying a certain kind of lifestyle. You cannot be your true self again because you don’t want to be seen as ‘too normal’ or too boring,” he said.

“If I could not commit to that persona, I would feel anxious … I would avoid talking to people. There was the pressure to maintain a certain image online,” he recalled.

Isa used his father’s email to start a social media account, assuming that an adult’s email account would provide suffcient protection.

“However, the content I received was beyond control,” he said. He was fed a daily diet of gore, violence, and pornography.

For Isa, what began as a way to connect with people soon evolved into a complete displacement of his childhood relationship with others.

“We stopped talking about anything else. We stopped talking about TV or sport. Everything was about what we were doing on Facebook,” he said.

Looking back now, he realises that social media had taken away the time that he could have spent experiencing real life, including being outdoors with friends.

For Ashley, the lack of adult supervision led her down an even darker path of anonymity.

She was introduced to online chat games at the age of nine, and this led her to spend the next five years catfishing. “Sometimes, I even portrayed myself as an adult male in his 20s,” she told FMT.

“I think I did it because I was still a child then and I thought not everyone would want to talk to children,” she recalled.

Looking back, she now realises that her early “e-relationships” with much older individuals was a form of grooming. “It was also my own lack of understanding of what I was really doing until it came to a point where I got caught,” she said.

The authorities have warned that beyond screen time, self-esteem and online identity, unsupervised social media use can expose children to more serious risks posed by online predators.

The wounds you can’t see

Child rights advocate James Nayagam sees the shift from a physical to digital existence as an “invisible problem”.

In the 45 years he has been working with troubled families and children, Nayagam has witnessed a gradual transformation in childhood trauma.

“Previously, it was all to do with bodily pain inflicted by actions such as bullying, which could be physically managed. But now we are dealing with something that is invisible and physically painless, but it destroys children and families,” he told FMT.

Parents are partly to blame. Nayagam noted that many parents now see the “online playground” as a convenient way out of active parenting. “They rely on devices over verbal conversation and meaningful interactions when engaging with their children,” he said.

“As long as the child keeps quiet, the parent finds relief. But that also means they no longer relate to their children,” he added.

This lack of engagement leaves children unable to handle adult-size pressures. “They begin to form, very prematurely, the identity of an adult when they are not even there yet. They find themselves getting deeper into that situation to the point of no return.”

He said that when a 13-year-old starts behaving like an 18-year-old, it is a warning that such exposure can create a false sense of maturity without the emotional readiness to cope.

When anonymity takes over

Last month, the police said they seized 498,694 digital files in a crackdown on online child sexual exploitation, arrested 69 people and uncovered networks involving 171 platforms and groups distributing child sexual abuse material, some even offering paid access.

Nayagam believes the move to restrict under-16s access to social media is a necessary first step to safeguarding a generation at risk of permanent psychological damage.

“(For the plan to succeed) parents will have to spend time with their children. Go back to the days when you put everything aside and sit at the table and talk to the child. This will draw the realization that they have a responsibility as parents,” Nayagam added. - FMT