SATURDAY JOKES - 233

 

Kuantan, Pahang, Malaysia

The 87-year-old said; "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It will keep your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80-year-old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any Italian bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...don't you think by the time you get to the 5th it'll be hard?"

He replied, "Holy shit ... does everybody in the world know about this Italian bread except ME?!"

 

You can't deny the faith of these people that we fight: it's absolute.

They believe that if they kill themselves, they'll be met in heaven with 70-some-odd virgins.

Imagine that kind of faith - to think that that would happen when I haven't met one on earth!

 

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

A: Ask your Mom!

 

Lady (to her doctor): "What l am worried about is my height and not my weight."
Doctor: "How come?"

Lady: "According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet 8 inches!"

 

Teacher: "Class, we'll have only half a day of school today morning."
Students: "Yaaya!"

Teacher: "We'll have the other half this afternoon!"

 

“What do you call a band of leaping insects playing old-time music?

'Blue-grass Hoppers'.”

 

A junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble.

Arriving home from work one night, he informed her. "I finally discovered why I've been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago and I just learned today that I've been sitting on the wastepaper basket!"

 

A man is skydiving, enjoying his free-fall when he realizes that he has reached the altitude where he must open his parachute. So, he pulls on the ripcord, but nothing happens.
“No problem,” he says to himself, “I still have my emergency chute.” So, he pulls the ripcord on his emergency parachute, and once again, nothing happens.
Now the man begins to panic. “What am I going to do?” he thinks, “I'm a goner!”

Just then he sees a man flying up from the earth toward him. He can't figure out where this man is coming from or what he's doing, but he thinks to himself, “Maybe he can help me. If he can't, then I'm done for.”

When the man gets close enough to him, the skydiver cups his hands and shouts down, “Hey, do you know anything about parachutes?”
The other man replies, “No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?”

 

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden, he sees a shark in the water, so he starts swimming furiously towards his boat.

As he looks back, he sees the shark turn and heads towards him. He's scared to death and as he sees the jaws of the great white beast open, revealing its horrific teeth, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Save me!"

In an instant, time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, "You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?"

Confused and knowing he can't lie, the man replies, "Well, that's true I don't believe in you but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?"

The Lord replies, "As you wish," and the light retracts back into the heavens. The man feels the water move once again.
As the atheist looks back, he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.
Shocked, the man watches as the huge beast closes its eyes, bows its head and says, "Thank you Lord for this food which I am about to receive..."

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Reducing curriculum density won’t solve all education woes, says expert

 

Education director-general Azman Adnan said a 50% reduction in curriculum density for specific Year 1 Mathematics and Science topics has helped pupils achieve the required learning standards.

PETALING JAYA: 

Merely reducing curriculum density is unlikely to address the core weaknesses plaguing Malaysia’s education system, educationist I Lourdesamy said.

He said quality teachers, effective monitoring of teaching and the right curriculum content would help improve the country’s education system in a holistic manner.

Lourdesamy also said smaller class sizes, continuous student assessments, more teaching resources and greater variety in lesson delivery would boost education standards.

Teachers should also be freed from too much paperwork and allowed to concentrate on teaching. We need competent, creative teachers who have a passion for teaching,

 he said.

Lourdesamy’s comments come after education director-general Azman Adnan said reducing up to 50% of the curriculum density in specific Year 1 Mathematics and Science topics has helped pupils achieve the required learning standards.

Azman said the curriculum’s restructuring, which began in March, has also simplified teaching content for educators. He said the move was to allay concerns raised by parents that the national curriculum was overly challenging for young children, particularly Year 1 pupils.

Better school-life balance

Several parents have expressed support for the revised curriculum for Year 1 pupils, believing that their children should not be burdened with an overly dense curriculum.

Haszliza Samsuri said a lighter curriculum has allowed her daughter to master certain topics before moving on to more advanced lessons.

I also notice that my child has more free time. A denser curriculum would mean less time to learn each topic, which could lead to stress,

 she said.

Another parent, Nur Ainina Abdul Aziz, said the simplified curriculum has led to less homework for her son, which she believes has improved his mental and emotional health.

With the long school hours, it’s good that he can come home and rest without the pressure of too much homework,

 she said.

A parent who wanted to be known only as Ammu said while the reduced curriculum has helped her children understand their lessons better, it could also limit their learning potential.

My twins are less stressed and have more time for extracurricular activities. But I prefer more content with less homework so that they can advance academically,

 she said.

Chee, a business manager whose child is in Year 2, said the curriculum for Year 1 should not be overwhelming, particularly for pupils lacking preschool exposure.

She said this could also alleviate the financial burden for parents as they would not need to send their children to tuition classes to catch up on the school curriculum. - FMT

FRIDAY NOTES (11/10/2024) FROM THE QURAN - MUTASHABIHA (SHUB-BIHA)

 Non Muslims can skip this. It is too technical.

My apologies for not writing last week's Friday Notes From The Quran. Today I want to discuss the very famous and well known arabic word mutashabiha and its derivatives as they appear in the Quran.

As I have said before it is very educational to study each and every occurence of every word that is found in the verses of the Quran. Of course if there are tens or hundreds of occurences   of a certain word then it can be quite tedious to study all of them. But it will be very useful. Examples of words that occur hundreds of times include mu'min, the name Moses (247 times??) and many other words. 

Shubiha, mutashabiha etc appears 12 times in the Quran and in NINE verses only. It is repeated TWICE in THREE verses (I have highlighted those three verses in yellow). Because it only occurs 12 times in NINE verses I decided to reproduce all NINE of the verses here.  (You are welcome).

In Surahs 2:70,  2:118, 4:157, 13:16, 6:99, 6:141, 2:25, 39:23 and 3:7.

 
1. Yousuf Ali Surah 2:70    They said: "Beseech on our behalf Thy Lord to make plain to us what she is: To us are all heifers alike (تشابه tashabaha).  We wish indeed for guidance, if Allah wills.

2. Yousuf Ali Surah 2:118    Say those without knowledge: "Why speaketh not Allah unto us? Or why cometh not unto us a Sign?" So said the people before them words of similar import. Their hearts are alike ( تشابهت. tashabahat)  We have indeed made clear the Signs unto any people who hold firmly to Faith.

3. Yousuf Ali Surah 4;157     That they said, "We killed Christ Jesus the son of Mary, the Messenger of Allah";- but they killed him not, nor crucified him, but so it was made to appear  ( شبه shubiha)  to them, and those who differ therein are full of doubts, with no knowledge, but only conjecture to follow, for of a surety they killed him not.

4. Yousof Ali Surah 13:16  "..so that the creation seemed to them similar (فتشابه fatashabaha)? . .  "

5. Yousof Ali Surah 6:99    It is He Who sendeth down rain from the skies: with it We produce vegetation of all kinds: from some We produce green (crops), out of which We produce grain, heaped up (at harvest); out of the date-palm and its sheaths clusters of dates hanging low and near: and gardens of grapes, and olives, and pomegranates,  similar and not similar (مشتبها وغير متشابه mush-tabihan wa ghayra muta-shabih) when they begin to bear fruit, feast your eyes with the fruit and the ripeness thereof. Behold! in these things there are signs for people who believe    

6. Yousuf Ali Surah 6:141     It is He Who produceth gardens, with trellises and without, and dates, and tilth with produce of all kinds, and olives and pomegranates, similar and not similar (متشابها وغير متشابه muta-shabiha wa ghayra muta-shabih): eat of their fruit in their season, but render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered. But waste not by excess: for Allah loveth not the wasters.

7. Yousuf Ali    Surah 2:25  But give glad tidings to those who believe and work righteousness, that their portion is Gardens, beneath which rivers flow. Every time they are fed with fruits therefrom, they say: "Why, this is what we were fed with before," for they are given things in similitude  ( متشابها  mutashabiha ); and they have therein companions pure; and they abide therein.

8. Yousuf Ali    Surah 39:23  Allah has revealed the most beautiful hadith in the form of a Book, consistent with itself,  repeating ( متشابها  mutashabihan): the skins of those who fear their Lord tremble thereat; then their skins and their hearts do soften to the celebration of Allah's praises. Such is the guidance of Allah: He guides therewith whom He pleases, but such as Allah leaves to stray, can have none to guide.

9.  Yousuf Ali    Surah 3:7  He it is Who has sent down to thee the Book: In it are verses fundamental; they are the foundation of the Book: others are allegorical (متشابهات. mutashabihat) But those in whose hearts is perversity follow the part thereof that is allegorical ( تشابه, tashabaha).

I am referring the English translation by Abdullah Yousof Ali. Please note that in TEN occurences of this word, Abdullah Yousof Ali translates them as alike, alike, made to appear, similar, similar, similar, similar, similar, similitude, repeating.

In Surah 3:7 the words mutashabihat / tashabaha are translated as allegorical.

Definitions from Oxford Languages
allegorical :  similar, symbolic

 

Ok that is all.

Budget 2025: taxing issues facing Anwar

 

Budget 2025 will be a fine balancing act for the government which on one side needs to raise revenue but on the other needs to ease the cost of living and the burden of taxes.

So far the Prime Minister has steadfastly and rightly resisted groundhog-day calls for a reintroduction of the goods and services tax (GST). Businesses like the GST because they reclaim the costs and so do not pay it but it is still a huge increase in the tax burden and is highly regressive, hitting the poor more than the rich.

The government is keeping the tax burden low by avoiding the GST. Even with the new taxes and tax hikes so far, the overall tax burden is lower than it would be with GST.

In Budget 2024 the estimate for Sales and Services Tax (SST) was RM35.8 billion which includes an extra RM5.5 billion from the service tax rise from 6% to 8%. These extra taxes, including capital gains tax and the low-value goods tax, raise around RM2.4 billion.

So the total will be RM38.3 billion, or RM1,250 for every Malaysian citizen, compared to the massive tax burden of GST estimated at around RM59.8 billion, or RM1,950 per person. In other words the GST costs every Malaysian citizen RM700 or 56% more than the current system.

At the same time the government is looking for alternative ways of improving tax collection through e-invoicing and better procedures at LHDN to raise revenue without returning to the regressive GST regime, and this must continue.

Despite this there is a need to broaden the tax base to raise revenue for health, education and social protection, but the government cannot do this with its existing portfolio of taxes.

Income taxes are narrowly focused on the very rich who pay 85% of personal income tax, corporate taxes burden businesses – especially SMEs – and costs are passed on to consumers, consumption taxes are inefficient and GST would be worse, while the recent ad-hoc taxes do not raise significant revenue for redistribution.

The risk of relying on old-style taxes is that they reach a limit very quickly and distort the market. This is a legacy problem, not the fault of the unity government, which is why they should abandon it and look at tax policy afresh.

A new approach to taxation can mean that even income tax below the T20 level and corporation tax for SMEs could be abolished to make Malaysia an attractive low-tax, low-regulation country.

The e-payments tax (EPT) is a simple way of moving to a low-tax, low-regulation system which still raises significant revenue and allows ad-hoc taxes to be abolished.

Individual income-tax for everyone below the T20 threshold can be abolished and still leave RM8-9 billion for extra spending on health, education and social protection with a 1% EPT, which would raise RM14.3 billion.

A 2.25% EPT, added to existing SST, can raise the same revenue as reintroducing GST. A simple 3% EPT would raise RM43 billion, enough for zero income tax below T20 levels and full abolition of SST.

While it might be too optimistic to expect an EPT next week, Budget 2025 should at least signal a move away from old-style taxes such as GST and SST and towards alternatives, especially since spending and earning patterns are changing with new technologies, e-commerce, e-invoicing and the gig-economy for example.

With strong economic growth, low inflation, stable interest rates, a strong ringgit and well managed monetary policy from Bank Negara, now is the window of opportunity for the government to begin a significant, bold tax reform agenda in Budget 2025. - FMT

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.

Malaysia ambil alih pengerusi Asean

 

Perdana Menteri Anwar Ibrahim menerima baton pengerusi Asean daripada Perdana Menteri Laos, Sonexay Siphandone, di Vientiane hari ini. (Gambar Bernama)

VIENTIANE: 

Laos secara rasmi menyerahkan jawatan pengerusi Asean kepada Malaysia, sebagai tanda berakhirnya sidang kemuncak Asean ke-44 dan ke-45 serta mesyuarat berkaitan.

Majlis penutupan itu melambangkan perpindahan kepimpinan blok serantau itu, membuka laluan untuk Malaysia menerajui Asean.

Dalam ucapan penutupnya, Perdana Menteri Laos, Sonexay Siphandone, menyampaikan penghargaan kepada para perwakilan atas kerjasama dan sokongan sepanjang Laos menjadi pengerusi, sebelum secara rasmi menyerahkan baton.

Ketika menyampaikan ucapan, Perdana Menteri Anwar Ibrahim menegaskan komitmen Malaysia untuk mendukung nilai teras dan keutamaan Asean, sambil menekankan bahawa di bawah kepimpinan Malaysia, blok serantau ini akan terus teguh mengekalkan Asia Tenggara sebagai sebuah rantau yang aman, stabil dan makmur.

Asean akan tetap tegas dalam melindungi Asia Tenggara sebagai zon keamanan, kestabilan dan kemakmuran bersama. Semangat konsensus akan terus dikekalkan dalam kalangan negara anggota, dan tahun 2025 akan menjadi bab penting untuk Asean, penuh dengan makna dan potensi,

 kata Anwar.

Perdana menteri menekankan bahawa 2025 akan menandakan ulang tahun ke-10 penubuhan Komuniti Asean.

Malaysia juga akan menerajui pengenalan Visi Komuniti Asean 2045, yang menggariskan hala tuju bersama blok itu untuk dua dekad akan datang.

Anwar turut menekankan kepentingan penyertaan Timor-Leste dalam blok serantau ini, dengan menyatakan bahawa keanggotaan negara itu akan meningkatkan potensi ekonomi Asean dan menyumbang kepada merealisasikan wawasan jangka panjang kumpulan itu.

Masa depan Asean mesti merangkumi Timor-Leste. Penyertaannya akan memperluas ekonomi rantau ini dan menyumbang kepada pencapaian wawasan besar kita,

 katanya.

Anwar melancarkan tema untuk kepengerusian Malaysia, 

Keterangkuman dan Kemampanan

, yang menurutnya mencerminkan hasrat negara untuk memastikan kemajuan bersama dan kesan yang berkekalan.

Majlis penutup itu dihadiri kira-kira 500 delegasi dari negara anggota Asean dan negara rakan. - FMT

Bersih proposes open debate on one-third Borneo seats demand

 

The electoral reform group said the debate should be between political analysts Wong Chin Huat (left) and James Chin, who have differing views.

PETALING JAYA: 

Electoral watchdog Bersih has called for a national dialogue and an open debate by two prominent intellectuals on calls for one-third of parliamentary seats to be reserved for Sarawak and Sabah.

The debate should be between political analysts Wong Chin Huat and James Chin, who 

hold contrasting views but ultimately share a similar goal of upholding the rights of Sabah and Sarawak as envisioned in the Malaysia Agreement 1963

, Bersih said.

The reform group said there should be discussions on the provisions of the Malaysia Agreement, particularly the percentage of parliamentary seats for Sabah and Sarawak and about veto power for Sabah and Sarawak over constitutional amendments that could erode their rights.

Last month, political analyst Chin, a professor of Asian Studies at the University of Tasmania, said Sabah and Sarawak should insist on being allocated a third of seats in both the Dewan Rakyat and the Dewan Negara.

Wong, a political scientist with Sunway University, said that instead of pushing for a one-third quota of Dewan Rakyat seats, it would be better to demand an expanded 100-seat Dewan Negara with 17 elected senators each from Sabah and Sarawak, who with another senator from Labuan, would form a 35% veto bloc.

Bersih’s call for a dialogue and debate comes in the wake of a recent roadshow on reforms it said had drawn nearly 150 participants from over 20 organisations and political parties in Sarawak.

The roadshow featured a youth empowerment workshop, an electoral constituency redelineation workshop, and a public forum on 

Veto Power for East Malaysia: Dewan Rakyat or Dewan Negara

.

Bersih said it has also met with the deputy minister in the Sarawak premier’s department, Sharifah Hasidah, to submit a memorandum to the Sarawak government calling for one-third of parliamentary seats and election-related issues.

Among the proposals discussed was facilitating voting for Sarawakians working and studying in Peninsular Malaysia by granting them the right to either early voting or postal voting.

Another proposal was to address the issue of unequal electoral constituency distribution, as it said Sarawak is the second state with the highest rate of malapportionment in Malaysia after Selangor. - FMT