Neuroticism is classified as one of the big five personality traits, or
the OCEAN model (openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and
neuroticism) psychologists look at to define personality, account for
individual differences, and predict wellbeing. Neuroticism has to do with the
ways people experience negative emotion in response to stress.
Two people could be faced with the same situation and the neurotic one
will put a negative spin on the experience and produce a stronger reaction to stress
- with feelings like sadness, anxiety, fear, hostility, irritability, and
anger. Often, their level of worry or sadness is not commensurate with what is
actually happening.
The Upside to Being Neurotic.
A little neuroticism can be good for the soul. These personality types
tend to be intelligent, humorous, have more realistic (if cynical)
expectations, a greater self-awareness, drive and conscientiousness, they take
fewer risks, and have a strong need to provide for others. And, according
to research, neurotic people are more likely to be creative thinkers.
Neurotics also possess more emotional depth. They have more experience
handling negative emotions, which, though difficult, can also make them deeper,
and facilitate empathy and understanding for other people’s struggles.
Then there is the evolutionary standpoint, which explains why neurotic
people tend to think ahead and are more likely to be prepared for possible
negative outcomes. The reason we pay attention to negative emotions is because
they are informative of the environment or perceived danger.
When Neuroticism Goes South.
While some neuroticism is healthy, because it is associated with
heightened self-criticism. It can become a ‘crash and burn’ dynamic, where
negative beliefs about yourself lead to ineffective social functioning, which
then confirms those negative beliefs, and further re-enforces neurotic
tendencies.
For example, take the coworker who is a superstar at work but tends to
worry a lot about his performance. Then all of a sudden, he gets a little
negative feedback from his boss, which feels like a huge criticism. He responds
by worrying more to the point that he is so consumed with self-evaluation and
anxiety, he cannot focus anymore and calls in sick. In the end, he creates his own
self-fulfilling prophesy.
While extreme, this type of maladaptive response can lead to difficulty
in relationships, problems keeping jobs, an overall decreased satisfaction with
life, depression and anxiety disorders, and a decreased life expectancy.
How to be Less Neurotic
To keep your levels of perceived threats from reaching apocalyptic-level
preparedness, learning some simple techniques to shift your mindset can go a
long way towards saving your sanity.
·
Be mindful. Instead of approaching neurotic
patterns of thinking, well, neurotically, take a step back as an observer and
think about what is causing the angst. Studies show mindfulness can reduce how
often you have negative thoughts and increase your ability to let go of them.
Learning to observe yourself at times of intense emotion more objectively and
asking questions like, ‘What am I thinking? How am I feeling? How am I
responding?’ makes it easier to take a broader perspective.
·
Take some deep breaths. It may sound totally trite but
pausing to take a few deep breaths can actually help you create some distance
from the intensity of the experience, and you might realize that your reaction
is out of whack with the situation itself.
· Practice self-acceptance. Self-acceptance prevents us from getting stuck on negative points, allowing healthy grief, and limiting the vicious cycles of self-recrimination. Ultimately, self-acceptance translates into optimism, self-appreciation, and an increased sense of self-efficacy. Go ahead and give yourself a little loving kindness and compassion; you are doing the best you can.
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