A
pastor, a priest and a minister have their houses of worship side by side, so
they decide to carpool.
On the first day, the other two
are shocked to see the pastor lay hands on the hood and pray silently.
"What are you doing?"
the priest asks.
The pastor looks up. "I'm
just dedicating the car to the Lord's service."
"Good idea! Be right
back!" the priest exclaims, running into his temple. He emerges with a
bulb on a short stick, shaking water out of it onto the car.
The minister stares. "What
are you doing?" he says.
"I'm consecrating it with
holy water," the priest replies.
"Great
idea!" the minister says, and runs into his office's toolshed. He emerges
with a hacksaw and takes off an inch of the tailpipe!
Did you hear about the
mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers?
He will
stop at nothing to avoid them!
My dad is retired now, and he
moved to Langkawi.
And it's really great to be able to finally go
down and visit him now that he's finally able to do those things in life that
he's always wanted to do, which apparently is to start drinking at noon and
then head on out into the city centre to buy me those vulgar worded shirts!
Moses:
“How are we going to get across the sea? The Egyptian battalion is close behind
us!”
General of the army: “Normally, I’d recommend
that we build our own bridge to carry us across. But there’s not enough time
for that.
”Admiral of the navy: “Normally, I’d recommend
that we build barges to carry us across. But time is too short.”
Public relations officer: “I don’t have a
solution, but I can promise you this: If you can find a way out of here, I’ll
get you two or three pages in the Old Testament!
What do you call an alligator
in a vest?
An in-vest-igator!
A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital
with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was
well.
However, the patrolman kept feeling something
pulling at the hairs in his crotch.
Worried that it might be a second surgery, the doctors hadn't told
him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so
he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of
adhesive tape, the kind that takes everything with it when you pull it
off.
Written in large red letters across the tape was the sentence: Get
well quick..... From the nurse to whom you gave a ticket last week!
Two guys walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks!
A husband and his wife are
waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after
a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife
and the nine kids are able to board the bus.
So, the husband and the blind
man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of
the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That
ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If
you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding that bus ...
so SHUT UP!"
As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.
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