THURSDAY JOKES - 330

Anjung Batu Jetty (ferry or speed boat station to Pulau Besar), Melaka, Malaysia.

A young pastor was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter he’d just received that morning from his mom. As he opened it, a twenty-dollar bill fell out. He thought to himself, Thanks, Mom, I sure needed that right now. As he finished his feel, he noticed a beggar outside on the sidewalk leaning against the light post. Thinking that the poor man could probably use the twenty dollars more than he, he crossed out the names on the envelope and wrote across the top in large letters, PERSEVERE! So as not to make a scene, he put the envelope under his arm and dropped it as he walked past the man.

The man picked it up and read the message and smiled. The next day, as the pastor enjoyed his meal, the same man tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a big wad of bills.

Surprised, the young pastor asked him what that was for. The man replied, “This is your half of the winnings. Persevere came in first in the fourth race at the track yesterday and paid thirty to one!”

 

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?

A: Frostbite!

A young man couldn’t decide which girl to marry. He liked one girl, but he really liked another one named Maria, too. He decided to ask his friend for advice.

“How do you make important decisions?” he asked his friend. “Well, I go to church,” replied his friend. “Then I look up and pray and usually the answer just comes to me.”

The young man decided to try just that. He went to church, looked up to pray, and the answer was written in gold above a stained-glass window.

It said: AVE MARIA!

Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?

It had great food, but no atmosphere!

 

What is the definition of a yawn?

An honest opinion openly expressed!

 

A father asked his little boy if he knew how a person gets saved.

“We’ll be saved by going to our church every Sunday,” the boy said without hesitation.

His father explained that going to their church each week would not save them.

“Well, then, we better find another church!” replied the boy.

What is the definition of inflation?

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper!

Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are separated by a big chain-link fence.

Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said “Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence.” Satan agreed.

The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence…but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.
“Satan!” beckoned God. “You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!”
“Yeah? What if I don’t?” replied Satan.
“I’ll sue you if I have to,” answered God.
“Sure,” laughed Satan. “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”

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