Being Frank: Whore in bed, lady in public

I put it that the club which has the gall to typecast a good wife as one who is a good sex worker to her husband is promoting predatory sex.

Sadly, it is women who are behind this rapacious move to prey on innocent wives.

Ironically, the most public of them is a trained medical practitioner Dr Rohaya Mohamad, a third wife herself with eight children.

By Frankie D'Cruz, Malay Mail

FOREIGN bargirls here have to pay their agents a penalty of RM75 for each kilo they gain in weight while working in nightspots. The girls have to maintain the exact weight when they were brought in and don’t necessarily get the fine refunded if they shed the fat.

The agents want to maintain quality among their girls, just as most husbands would selfishly like their wives to be in good shape throughout their married life.

The difference is while the agents gladly deduct the RM75 from the bargirls’ takings as per agreement, a husband wouldn’t broach such idiocy to his spouse. He just bullies her. He knows nothing would happen to him if he's the fat man in the neighbourhood.

Clearly, it’s the wives who are at the receiving end when they put on weight while the men go on the prowl as nocturnal creatures.

Being overweight is just another example of spouse discord, normally put down to lame sex.

Still, problems alight on the domestic front and the sex life is lost. Does the husband now expect the wife to be a whore in bed and lady-like outside the bedroom to fire new life into the relationship?

This, while he goes on a pleasure romp of nightspots.

Kinky topic? I never asked for it but it’s something I thought should be discussed given the philosophy of the newly-launched Muslim-based Obedient Wives Club that wants wives to be treated like whores in bed.

The views of the club, launched over the weekend, have set off a national debate over the progress of the equality movement and the contributions of womenfolk to various landscapes of development.

If a wife doesn’t want sex and it is forced upon her, isn’t that rape by law? If a wife doesn’t want to engage in certain “whore-like” sex situations, isn’t that forced sex?

I put it that the club which has the gall to typecast a good wife as one who is a good sex worker to her husband is promoting predatory sex.

Sadly, it is women who are behind this rapacious move to prey on innocent wives.
Dr Rohaya Mohamad

DR ROHAYA: Sexual prowess takes front seat

Ironically, the most public of them is a trained medical practitioner Dr Rohaya Mohamad, a third wife herself with eight children.

I would like to brand her the nation’s newest avatar of moral "probity", a self-proclaimed sex guru who has stepped forward to advise women on what it takes to become a Stepford Wife, a woman perfect beyond belief.

Her catchphrase — “what is wrong with being a whore in bed to your husband?” — smacks of the surrendered wife who gives up equality for "marital bliss".

Dr Rohaya, the club’s vice president, will together with a committee of wise persons, advise women on sex governance and compliance.

The voyeurism of it all should give them sheer pleasure. They are to instill in women the "virtues" of being the perfect wife, including her duties as a “good wife” that entails pleasuring their husbands in the bedroom.

They will pump home the philosophy certain men love to hear: Obey, serve and entertain. Be a sex object to your husband. Serve your husband better than a first-class prostitute.

Dr Rohaya says sexual prowess takes front seat in marriage beyond the traditional “good mother or good cook” roles. Never mind that sumptuous beef rendang, it’s about a good wife being sexually active in bed, she believes.

Dr Rohaya, who was a medical doctor for 15 years in the Health Ministry before taking a leadership role in the club, deems a husband who is kept happy in the bedroom would have no reason to stray or seek out prostitutes or indulge in other social vices.

She obviously doesn’t realise she has asked women to relinquish control — which means you don't tell your husband what to do, how to do it or when to do it. You don't complain about the way he's done it or criticise what he's done.

It’s gibberish that by doing so the family institution is protected and social ills like prostitution, domestic violence, human trafficking and abandoned babies could be curbed.

She believes these problems stemmed from unfulfilled sexual needs at home. It's just pure ignorance. Dr Rohaya is not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed and by all impressions her ilk is not far behind.

Wake up Obedient Wives Club! These times are too difficult to be wasting our time with such nonsense. All schadenfreude aside, it's a shame that anyone would think sexual dexterity is judicious use of family time.

Perhaps, the club thinks a controversy would bring them more attention. Simply put, it is destructive to our society. What if I said for women who have gained status in the work world, it’s hard for them to come home and be a feminine person and be a loving, soft, caring wife?

Dr Rohaya would probably respond they should not come home with the attitude of a boss and step one in becoming a surrendered wife is learning to keep your mouth shut.

Do prudish, demure and coy women like to be treated like a whore in bed? Is the club asking women to indulge in whore role-play in bed...rough sex, hair pulling, dirty names, being dominated? What do men find interesting about prostitutes and "loose women"?

My retort: A prostitute is able to be free with herself sexually and with what she has to offer, albeit for a price.

Forgive me, but shouldn’t one treat his wife like a goddess in bed instead of expecting her to be wild and crazy?

Forgive me, but am I the only one reading the Obedient Wives Club as professing sex is primal, and shouldn't always have to be revering and loving?

Are women to regard the word whore as just a tag and what it really means is to “treat me like you really enjoy me”? Like what goes on between two people does not make either a whore, just very lucky?

Like being a nun in public and a whore in private?