Najib Replies St Hannah: An Insane Woman Shouting…

by shuzheng

Reply from the Honourable Prime Minister to YB Hannah Yeoh

Dear St Hannah:

Thank you for your letter concerning your daughter Shay Adora Ram. Or is it Shay anak perempuan Isaac? We understand what it is like to be a new parent. But please make up your mind.

The National Registration Department is an arm of the state of Malaysia carrying out its duties under the laws of Malaysia. How does that make its work – to wit, duly registering your child completely and properly – racial politics? You say, “my daughter is not Chinese or Indian“. Your daughter is also incompetent to write or speak. At age of 6 days – that’s not yet a week old – she is also not Malaysian, anak or Chindian. She is not even completely human, if you bother to read the Analects to find out. (But you don’t of course. The bible, to you, is the only necessary book in the world.) If you want to know the truth, your daughter is not anything. At this stage in her life, she is capable of only three things, and even that unintelligently: eat, sleep, shit. The department clearly told you to choose either one of two parents. Still you continue to quarrel and shout at our officers about your daughter being neither Chinese nor Indian. Who cares? But why choose Chinese if her name is Shay? Or Adora? Or Ram? Or whatever.

In sum, you were being petty, difficult, quarrelsome, using a 6-day-old child to serve your kind of racial DAP politics. Isn’t that true? You sure know how to kick off as an example of a new, model parent. Don’t the Chinese have a line to describe your kind of character: an insane woman running down the street shouting curses….

We’re returning you the form you say you’ve completed in protest together with a new one. In the box for race, why don’t you write “GWEILO”, you Anglophile twerp.

In attached please also find our bill for fees to 30 minutes of our aggregated time. This is part of our efficiency exercises and our performance indicators, PKI. You do understand, don’t you? You have 15 days to pay.

Yours truly,
Najib, Melayu son of Razak

PS: See, that wasn’t so difficult to write, was it? Shay a/p Isaac. Gweilo. It takes only 7 seconds.