Aiya, stop the noise - let Aziz and Umno hang Ambiga: The fine line between Truth & Satire

UMNO leaders feel that Malaysia belongs to them and them alone. So let Mohamad Aziz go and find the rope to hang Ambiga Sreenevasan. Let him and UMNO do it.

Just don’t use the police, the Attorney General and the courts to determine whether Ambiga should be hung or not. Firstly, it's a huge waste of public money and secondly even the Opposition is not sure if courts will find Ambiga guilty or not? After all, aren’t the police, the AG and the courts working for UMNO? So, why argue -  just let Aziz and UMNO do it!

RTM, TV3, Utusan, NST, and don’t forget the Star and of course Astro must start informing the people and the entire world of the bad deeds that Ambiga has committed in the run-up to TREASONOUS BERSIH 3.0. The police should have enough footage to give to Information minister Rais Yatim to compile and produce a very convincing video to prove how serious Ambiga’s crimes are. Let Rais, edit and 'photoshop' as much as he likes as long as the entire world is convinced, and even the highest court in the Universe will find Ambiga guilty. GUILTY!

Next, the various muftis (clerics) supporting UMNO must issue a fatwa (religious edict) to support the actions of Mohamad Aziz and UMNO so that even the Grand Mufti of Mecca can’t say anything about it. The fatwa must be perfect, convincing and in line with all the purported Hadiths (sayings of the Prophet p.b.u.h) and verses from the Holy Quran. The muftis can twist the verses as they wish, so long as Aziz and UMNO are happy.

But don't forget to put a gag order or Dr Mohd Asri Zainal Abidin and PAS too. Anwar Ibrahim, Karpal Singh, Lim Kit Siang and Lim Guan Eng must be sent to Kamunting again before they open their mouths and give the game away. Oh, Nik Aziz and Hadi Awang too. As for Nizar Jamaluddin, well, he's too busy now dealing with the Johor Sultan!

The day of the HANGING

Then, let Mohamad Aziz and UMNO use the National Stadium in Bukit Jalil to perform the hanging. KTMB, the LRT, the school buses, UiTM buses, all express buses, taxis and whatever means of logistics including MAS and AirAsia - all who have been supportive of UMNO - must provide free transport to UMNO folk who want to watch the event with their own eyes.

The UMNO supreme council might want to consider giving each attendee a red hood to wear - RED FOR BLOOD, similar to the ones used by the KKK in the US and pocket sales of RM12.60 each. Mind you there are 3.5 million UMNO members, so it can help to fund quite a number of ceramah or political lectures.

The police will have to called in to do crowd control and aim their tear gas and water cannons at those who come to protest Ambiga's hanging including her family and the Pakatan Rakyat gang. The media will of course be given VVVIP treatment so that they can give the best reporting to the entire world. Let there be live coverage to show the whole lynching to the world. Malaysia is TRANSPARENT!

Malaysia is also the world's BEST DEMOCRACY after all - according to Prime Minister Najib Razak. If the long-suffering silent majority - i.e. UMNO according to ex-PM Mahathir Mohamad - wants a hanging, a hanging they should get!

Sieze Ambiga's property, if not enough take from Anwar's RM3bil, otherwise sell Najib's Scorpenes

City council DBKL should help out in any way possible by giving a blanket permit to Mohamad Aziz and UMNO to do whatever they wish.

All businesses must be closed for three days - one day before the hanging, the day of the hanging and one day after the hanging.

Ambiga’s property and all her possessions must be seized and auctioned off to cover the losses of the businesses for these three days. It is after all her fault that they lost money - and not UMNO's or Mohamad Aziz's.

If not enough, then UMNO must try to get back the RM3.0 billion that it insists Anwar has in the Swiss banks. If it still can't find enough proof, then it should sell off Najib's two prized Scorpene submarines. After all Najib has already made his pile and the subs are of no use to the Malaysian navy at all - just berthing and racking up exorbitant maintenance costs that could soon exceed RM10billion!

By the way, the sale of mineral water and salt must be banned for two months; one month before the hanging and another month after the hanging to prevent non-UMNO Malaysians from staging street protests. The army must be sent all over the country to maintain peace with RELA helping out, of course. The police will have their hands full controlling the crowd that gathers at the stadium to watch the HISTORIC HANGING.

The ULTIMATE world event

Let this be the ultimate event of the GLOBAL millennium, overshadowing the Arab Spring and BERSIH 3.0. Let it be the breaking news and top news, which will be even more spectacular than the Euro 2012 or the Olympics 2012.

What is the 9/11 collapse of the Twin Towers in New York compared to our very own hanging of Ambiga Sreenevasan? POOR LADY, but if UMNO and Mohamad Aziz believe her hanging is for the greater good of themselves - who can stop them?

On the day of the GREAT hanging itself, let the event begin with the KERIS KISSING ceremony. Let every UMNO leader from the 19,000 branches, 191 divisions, to every office bearer at the national level including the UMNO Supreme Council take turn to kiss the sword.

Let the world witness the sea of UMNO people in the stadium all wearing red hoods screaming crazy for Ambiga's death. Let the cry for her death reach a deafening crescendo and shake the stadium to its foundation.

AND then and only at that moment, should the bucket be kicked from under Ambiga’s feet. Let Mohamad Aziz, also wearing the red hood, do the honors. Vain Najib can of course stand by his side - simper, smile and wave to the cameras and take his due share of the limelight and place in history.

May be this will make them happy but that won’t satisfy the UMNO lust for megalomania. It won't be long before another UMNO MP asks for someone else to be hung - a non-Malay of course. GOSH, I'm glad to be a Malay - even a Mamak might not escape once they run out of Chinese and Indians and Kadazans and Ibans ...What say you, Dr M!

Malaysia Chronicle